A May-December romance is surprisingly common. Some women deliberately want to date older men because they think that they will be more mature and stable in their lives. Historically, many women married at a younger age than men. Even today, the average woman who gets married is younger than the average man. There is nothing wrong with an age difference between two partners. As long as they have similar maturity levels and are compatible, a relationship can happen between people of any age.
On average, married women were 4.1 years younger than married men within the United States. If you look at the Fortune 500 list, married women were an average of seven years younger. Among the super-rich men on the list, the spouses were 22 years younger than their husbands.
In my own life, I have watched one sister marry a man 11 years older than her. Another sister married a man five years older than her. If I had selected a husband from a crowd, I would have picked the same people. In both cases, my sisters are perfectly matched for their spouses. While there may still be some stereotypes about large age gaps, there is nothing wrong with it. You love who you love, and you can’t help who you are attracted to.
Why Do Women Marry Older Men?
Many people think that younger women marry older men because they want the money. They are fine with being trophy wives as long as they are compensated for it. While this is undoubtedly true in some cases, it is certainly untrue for everyone.
Of course, money can make a difference in any relationship. Marrying into money gives you a better lifestyle and financial security. Someone who is older often tends to be more established in their career and ready to start a family.
There are other reasons why some women seek out older men. They may want:
1. Social Acceptance
Some girls and young ladies want to grow up fast, start a family and be a respected part of the community. Marrying someone who is older helps them get a jump start on this goal.
For smaller age differences, the decision might come down to maturity. Women and girls mature quicker than males. For a mature female, a similarly aged male may just lack the maturity necessary to have a happy, stable relationship. Because of this, she may seek out partners who are older.
3. Daddy Issues
This is another stereotype that is not always true. At the same time, some women do marry a guy because they lacked a male role model in their earlier life. This guy may provide her with the love, care and protection that she never received from her father.
4. Finding an Anchor
When young ladies are in their early 20s, they are still discovering themselves and learning about their identity. The human mind does not finish maturing completely until around age 25, so this is a time for experimentation and self-discovery. Some women date older men because it provides them with an anchor and emotional stability while they are learning about themselves.
5. Compatibility and Love
The most obvious answer for why anyone marries anyone else is love. You can’t help who you fall in love with. The woman and man meet, sparks fly and they fall for each other. Age might deter some people from a particular partner, but other ladies are more open-minded about who they fall in love with.
Is This Becoming a Trend?
With online dating, it is easier than ever for women to find someone who suits their exact interests. Since many sites include more male than female profiles, women are often enticed to the dating site through promotions like free registration. This makes it even easier for women to meet and date the exact type of guy that they are interested in.
Tips for Marrying an Older Man
If you want to marry an older man, you need to make sure that this is what you want first. Right now, you are both in good health. In addition to the fact that men statistically die younger than women, your partner is already 10, 20 or more years older. Before long, he will be less vigorous and healthy than you are. Socially, he will probably have older friends and family members. In addition to the age difference, some of these people may judge his relationship with you. Before you marry him, make sure that you get along with his friends and family.
Emotionally, his needs are different than your own. He is at a different stage in his life, and he has difference life experiences. This means some partners have a tendency to become patronizing in arguments or regular conversations because they have “been there, done that” and know exactly what you should do . . . even if you are not asking for his input.
Before you get married, make sure that you understand everything that you are about to take on. Right now, you are in the prime of your life, but he is rapidly leaving the prime of his life. While your friends are hosting baby showers in ten years, he may already be losing his vitality and good health. If he is or was married, keep in mind that he could leave you for a newer model in the future. This does not happen in every case, but it is an outcome that you should be aware of.
If you plan on starting a family, sperm tends to decline in quality as men age. In addition, he will be older than the average father as your child starts kindergarten and graduates high school. This might not be a problem, but he may lose the physical ability to do things like hike, bike or play baseball with your children.
Making Your Marriage Work
Most of the tops for marrying an old man are the same for marrying any man. Communication skills, giving each other space and compatibility are some of the main things that you should focus on.
The best relationships are based on honest, open communication. Talk to each other, listen attentively and share your ideas. Plan for the future as a couple and discuss your interests.
While you need to have many things in common, you do not actually need to actually have everything in common. Sometimes, both partners just need space to be themselves. Do some things together, but make sure that you each have plenty of time to focus on yourselves. Happy relationships require the right balance of space, communication and together time. If he wants to enjoy a drink with his friend from work, plan a girls’ night with your friends.
3. Boost Your Compatibility
As we said, you do not need to have everything in common to fall in love and have a happy relationship. At the same time, you certainly need to have some things in common. While you don’t have to join him in stamp collecting, football watching or whatever his hobby in, it is important that you find activities that you enjoy doing together. Take your dog on a walk each evening as a couple. Go on nature hikes. Fall in love with wine tasting or cooking gourmet meals. The important thing is finding something that you like to do as a couple together.