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Do Some Guys Really Give Up on All Relationships With Women?

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Whether the man was recently divorced or has had bad experiences with women, there are sometimes reasons why guys give up on relationships completely. In some cases, guys are anti-feminist and just hate women. In other cases, they went through a bad break up and just don’t want to put their heart out there again.

In nations like Japan, there are actually entire movements where guys just give up on dating entirely. In these nations, it is actually becoming a problem because the country needs enough babies to be born to support the retired population. When part of the population refuses to marry and have children, it becomes a practical problem. In the United States, we don’t really have that problem. While there are some guys who give up on women, there are not enough guys doing this for it to really affect the birth rate.

Why Would Some Guys Give Up on All Relationships With Women?

There are many potential reasons why guys might give up on women. While some of these involve past experiences with women, there are many other reasons that this could happen.

1. High Stress

This stress could be from work, societal responsibilities or a past relationship. If the guy is in a stressful job and works constantly, he may not have made a conscious decision to give up on women. His biggest issue is that he just does not have time for a relationship. Even if he tries to date, his partner feels lonely and left out because he is constantly busy. After experiencing a break up because of his work, he may just put off dating until some day in the future when he actually has time for it.

2. High Standards for Men



In the United States, there are more women with bachelor’s and graduate degrees than men. While most women do not mind marrying someone who has a lower degree level than them, the guy may mind. He may feel like there is no one on his level to date, so he gives up. If he has a self-esteem problem, then dating a woman who is out of his league may make him severely unhappy. Because of this, he may just give up on dating women entirely.

3. Traditional Roles

Some guys want a woman who can be a housewife and cook their dinner each night. Traditional roles are changing, so there are many, many women who want to have a career. If the guy just wants a housewife, he may not be interested in dating anyone who cannot fit this standard. On the other side of the coin, there may be guys who want a woman who is a go-getter and career oriented. If he can’t find a woman who matches his drive, he may give up dating women entirely.

4. Past Trauma

Our early experiences in life can greatly shape who we become. If the guy was betrayed by his mother or never had a strong female in his life, he may feel like other women will be equally disappointing. Even though a logical part of his mind realizes that this cannot possibly be true, he can’t get over his past childhood trauma and move on. Because of this, he can’t date anyone or can only trust a partner after years of her proving that she will not just leave him like his mother.

5. Divorces and Breakups

A divorce is one of the most traumatic things that you can experience. It ranks just after a death of a loved one in stress and emotional turmoil. If someone has gone through a bad divorce or a bad breakup, then they may give up on women entirely. While they know that the next person they date may be different, they just cannot take that risk anymore. They know exactly what it is like to lose everything in a divorce, and they don’t want to take that risk again.

6. They Were Cheated on



At some point, most people have been cheated on before. Some people are able to heal and move on, but other people just can’t. The cheating may have been with a trusted friend or it may have been a long-term affair. Whatever the case, the guy cannot move past it. Even if he tries to date someone again, he finds it impossible to let his guard down and trust a woman.

7. He Hates Women

While the other reasons are more common, it is also possible that he just hates women. He may have had bad experiences in the past or he may have been cheated on. In some cases, weaker-minded guys fall for the rhetoric of hate groups and anti-feminists. In these cases, they develop a deep-seated hatred of women that is hard to break. In addition to making the guy stop dating women, it also means that he is probably not someone that you should ever date. Even if he tries to get over these feelings, it can take years. These subconscious thoughts and biases can hang around for years, even if he is consciously trying to get rid of them.

8. Expectations Are Changing

Most people realize that cat-calling is not an acceptable way to hit on women. Making someone feel uncomfortable or in danger is never a good way to flirt. Unfortunately, some men do not realize that they can still flirt with a woman. They may be afraid of hitting on her because they are worried that she could say it was non-consensual or sexual harassment. Even when these views have no basis in reality, the guy may still be worried. Gender roles are constantly changing, so it is easy to become worried about what you can and cannot do. Knowing the proper way to make a move isn’t easy for everyone, and this causes some guys to give up altogether.

There are many potential reasons why a man may give up on having relationships with women. Unfortunately, most of these are related to deep-rooted views that take time to change. Until the guy is willing to change on his own, he may remain an undesirable date.

25 COMMENTS

  1. I don’t hate women, i absolutely love women! But, i am divorced, single for 18 years, and at 46 have begun to realize i will never date anyone again.

    • Allow this decision to have a positive influence in your life. Treat everyone that you meet with kindness and compassion. You can avoid from developing strict relationships with people. You may find that there are people who are looking for similar things that you are searching for. Have a great day, Mike!

  2. I’m divorced and I must say, it was very traumatic for me (and the kids too). I don’t know if I’ll date again, but I’ll never “live with” (cohabit) or marry again. I have dated maybe three or four times since the divorce, in about a 3 month window, but never really got into it. At my age (mid forties) dating seems like some sort of twisted job interview where I get to pay for dinner. I’ve stopped dating and because I’m a single dad whose resources (money, mostly) go towards the ex and my kids, no women are interested in me anyways!! This is really a blessing. I think relationships are highly over-rated and present WAY too much risk for the man and nothing but perks and benefits for the women. I know feminists talk about “emotional labor” and all this nonsense, but I can’t pay utility bills with emotional labor – it takes cold hard cash. I just feel that in my life right now having a woman in it would cost 10x more than it’s worth, with 10x more risk, financially, than I’m willing to take. That’s why I’m single. That’s why I’m MGTOW. I don’t hate women, but I really don’t like most of their behaviour. So I’m out of the “dating/mating arena”. I know people will have strong opinions about that, but the BEST part of being MGTOW is that IDGAF!!!

    • It sounds as though you have made a decision that makes you happy. It is great that you have chosen to focus on your children instead of focusing on developing a new relationship. Continue to make positive decisions. Do not allow this previous relationship cause you to treat people poorly. Treat everyone in your life with kindness and compassion. Have a great day, Sid!

  3. I’m pretty much there. I know I don’t try often enough but I tend to fall hard and get my heart walked all over. It’s just not worth it. I feel like I can either not care at all about the person and at least have company or actually care for once and walk away alone.

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Allow this experience to guide your future actions. Treat everyone in your life with kindness and compassion. There is no need to develop a relationship with someone that you are not interested in developing a relationship with. Take this time to look inward and determine what you want for your future. Have a great day, Stef!

  4. I’m 23 and I have completely given up on dating. I would say it’s a mixture of the above reasons, I don’t hate women, and I consider myself feminist. But I also feel worried about when and how to hit on women (as I mostly only meet them in a professional capacity or at law school). I’ve been through several terrible relationships in the past, and they have left me feeling like I’m just not what any women are looking for.

    • Take this time to look inward and determine what you want for your future. Allow the thoughts of these previous relationships to fade. Treat everyone in your life with kindness and compassion. You do not need to develop a relationship with anyone at this time. If you find that your feelings change with time, then make a new decision at that time. Have a great day, Cody!

  5. The one and only girl I ever perused romantically lied to me and led me on for over a year for her own personal gain. She claimed a friend of her’s had broke into her house and raped her. Me, believing her and wanting to help her, wanted to do everything I could to help her heal and feel better. She took complete advantage of my feelings for her, used me, took all my money, change jobs, loose said job, had me cut of contact with friends and family. After a year she saw how ragged, depressed and sick I was all the time and admitted to me, by text, that she had made it all up to get back at her ex. She then cut off all contact with me.

    It’s been years since then. I’m objectively in a worse state in every aspect of my life for having met her emotionally, socially, financially, etc etc. I’ve taken all the advice there is under the sun. I’ve improved myself, gotten in shape, worked on my, focused on other aspects of life. And don’t tell me to get professional help, that’s a catch phrase people who don’t have mental illness or trauma parrot as advice. Been there, done that.

    Nothing helps. It’s been years and I still can’t get over allowing myself to trust someone and have them lie to me over something as serious as rape. I have no recourse. I can’t talk to her to get closure since she wont talk to me without her saying I’m stalking, I can’t bring up anything legally despite all the savings I lost because technically no crime was committed, I can’t talk to anyone to work this out because at best I’m told to just get over it and at worst I’m made fun of.

    I’ve done so much to move on. I’ve taken all the advice there is five times over. I’ve been rejected by more people than others have met in a life time and I don’t say that as exaggeration or to boast.

    I think about killing myself every day.

    I think tonight should be the night.

    • You will not find rejection here. You may find benefit in speaking with someone at a suicide hot line. If you do not want to speak with someone there, then take this time to look inward. This person has harmed you, but you are in charge of your life. There is no benefit in harming yourself. She is outside of your life, so attempt to put her out of your mind anytime that you realize that you are thinking about her. You do not need to establish a relationship with anyone at this time, and you may find benefit is focusing on your mind at this time. Most importantly, treat everyone in your life with kindness and compassion, as this will bring positive influences into your life. If you have no family or friends in your area, then perhaps move to a location where you can enjoy old friendships with people that you can trust. Have a great day, Danny!

  6. I think we’re all in the same boat. I meet and date women, talk for a while, then it ends. Realistically, I think society is a problem. “You’re single? Why are you single? Aren’t you dating anyone? There is just so much pressure in America to date or be married. Maybe I like my freedom? Maybe I like money to myself? Maybe I want toys rather than women? We’re not freaks or horrible people. But at some point you realize dating sucks, relationships don’t work for you, and you just don’t work well with the opposite sex. Personally, I like sport cars!

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. You are right, culture changes as the generations change. It is possible for successful relationships to be developed, and people nourish any relationships that they are in. Have a great day, Jon!

    • Yeah, well try this one…A guy I’ve dated off and on over 20 yrs came back into my life,( and this time he was grown up and completely changed from his arrogant, selfish ways he used to live by in his 20’s and part of his 30’s) and we spent every night together. He’d pick me up after work and we’d stay at his house EVERY night. (This was nothing like his behavior when we dated before where it was like close friends with benefits.) His mom died a few years ago and then his 2 Bulldogs..one months before we got back together, and the other died while i was at his house. He also had 3 dogs still living there that were his mom’s, plus all her collectibles/flea market stuff he had to go through, organize good from bad, and get rid of(while working 2 jobs!) before they seized his mom’s house. I knew he was going through a lot, but one night, after spending 2 whole days with him when he had work off, his immature, 10 yr younger friend was over and it was already 2am, way past when he should’ve left, and i walked in the front room from the bedroom (i was lying down from pains in my side/back) where they were and he told his friend to leave. Directly after, before his friend walked out the door, we go lie down, and my bf’s phone rings. He sounded pissed, and when he was done with the call ( the one time he ever left the room on the phone)he stormed back in the room upset, and said it was his older friend who he told me about earlier that day that was sick, and now he’s in the hospital dying, and so he had to leave. I asked if he wanted me to go with, but he said he had to go to work straight after, then packed his lunch cooler while he had me gather all my stuff. He made his friend drive me home, though he was going the opposite way. I texted him hours later to make sure things were ok. He saw that message at 6am. No response. At 4pm that day i text “hope you’re ok”. Nothing. Nothing from Friday to Monday when i decided to call him Monday to see if he was ok. No answer. Wednesday morning i wake up and go on fb and see the first post from my friends list. I see “Got Engaged” and it was under his name. I typed “how can you be, when i was in your bed every night for months. You’e a child.” He didnt say anything on the whole post, but some girl said “we were broken up. He told me about you. He loves me.” I typed “No…he doesn’t Have fun being used…idgaf.” then i blocked her. Days later i was going to show my friends their profiles and found that both of them blocked me, even though i never messaged him nor her. This from the guy who posted stuff about marriage while with me that made it obvious he was thinking about it. The pics even looked like us; not this other chic. And i made a comment earlier that week about never having kids and he got mad for some reason. This from a guy who never wanted kids. He does have a son who i got very close with though. I still love them both. I dated him when his son was a baby, too. What the hell is he doing, and how could he do that to me? I helped clean and organize all his mom’s stuff. He gave me and my mom things of hers and showed me all the sentimental stuff that meaned something to him. After 20 yrs, he was finally opening up to me completely. He even said he was a different person, but sounded hopeless and depressed when he said it. He was so less judgemental than he used to be and more down on himself. Anyway, I made him lunches for work and brought him dinner…just like he was saying he wanted a wife to do if he ever DID get married. One night we were arguing though, and he called me a feminist, which pissed me off. He also was jealous because of all the guys who reacted to my pic on my profile, so i took it down. Wtf is going on? I saw that new girl he’s with now, and she is lower class and only into herself and her pics. She has a 20 year old kid(so she has a place), so I’m wondering if he’s using her for an immediate place to move into when his mom’s house is seized. We were going to get a place together, but he was stressed about having the money for the move and a down payment on a place in time…on top of moving all his moms thousands of knicknacks and finding her dogs a home. This is why i did everything i could to help him…and look how tf he repays me! Weeks later, I’m still torn, because I knew I loved him. I even told him i loved him a few weeks before this happened when I had too much to drink. I quit drinking because of that night, and to help myself of course, but a few days after me going completely sober is when he left and never contacted me again. To think that he had her in his bed the same night i was, and she was cool with it and so was he! Cuz I know he wasn’t going to any hospital that night at 2am without giving me more of an answer. My first text was “Is your friend okay?” that same night at 4am, and that was the first time ever that he ignored me…all the way up till now and counting. Wtf??? I can’t just forget him…wheretf is the closure??? He owes me some kind of explanation, but I don’t want to seek him out after how he treated me…like I have no value to him. Any ideas of what’s happening? And please no ‘focus on yourself’ advice, cuz that wont work for me. Thanks! 😉

      • He has treated you without respect. Your relationship has ended. The closure that you desire is not owed to you. Allow thoughts of this person to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Determine what you want for your future without him. Do not attempt to reach out to this person. If he reaches out to you in the future, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Em!

  7. I am 48 have never been married and have no kids. I have good job,own my own house and I’m not bad looking.I have had opportunities in the past, but I let them go. To me it feels like my time is over, every year I care a little less.

    • Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Each person chooses their life and makes decisions that influences their future. Please feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Phil!

  8. I’m 46, a woman, and gave up on men. I’ve tried my whole life just to try and get them to talk to me. Sadly I’m no looker and as time went on it became harder and harder when I got passed over for the younger and prettier.

    You guys may think it’s hard. But it’s harder for women. When you’re my age, a virgin and have men not even look at you, then it’s really crushing. I spend my life with books now and music. My I promised myself that in my next life, I’ll be luckier.

    • Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Allow your emotional and social desires to influence you in a positive direction. Treat everyone in your life with kindness and compassion. This will ensure that positive people and energy will enter into your life. Focus on your current life and observe each moment. Have a great day, Isabella!

    • This is an opinion on why so many people are left behind relationship wise in today’s modern society. Before the social disconnection of the television, internet, sub urban sprawl, we had a society that was mainly based upon the persons village. It was just easy to find someone back then. This so called “growth” out of the village was for the most part for the benefit of corporations and profit. We seem to have a society that says that you are only worthy of a partner if you are hugely successful. Average People have mainly suffered for it. I’m not saying the internet, cars, tv, etc are inherently bad. It’s just that I think people are happier with the Village concept.

      I think that as we go along, more and more people will realize that we have to get back to our “roots” and actually socially interact again.

      In the meantime, the less successful suffer. What are we to do in our loneliness? I firmly do not believe that people “choose” to be single. I don’t believe that human beings can have a fulfilling life being single. But being single is now almost normal. There is no substitute for a relationship and the benefits like sex that come along with it. All humans need love or they become dysfunctional. Our society is dysfunctional and I think you can trace that to the breakup of the family.

      Us singles, with no hope of relationships, must fill the gap somehow and hope that future generations will correct this malaise for the sake of mankind.

      We must find something that we love. We must find something that is a close substitute. Maybe for some, it is a love of animals, or having good close frienships, but we must find something that’s within our power to achieve.

      • Thank you for sharing your positive comment. It is clear that you understand the important of sharing your kindness and compassion with everything in your life. Please feel free to share more of your insights and experiences in the future. Have a great day, Dan!

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