Home Love & Relationship Mixed Signals From a Girl: What These Mean and How to Deal

Mixed Signals From a Girl: What These Mean and How to Deal


Men are frequently confused about whether a woman likes them or not. This is because of gender differences in how emotions are expressed and understood. Because of these differences, many guys feel like they are getting mixed signals from a girl. The last thing you want to do is hit on a woman who is clearly uninterested, but how do you figure out what she thinks? She seems flirty in one moment, but her flirty attitude disappears in the next minute. What should you do? 

Mixed Signals From a Girl: What These Mean and How to Deal

Unfortunately for you, society has taught girls to smile, act polite and be considerate. This has made hitting on women even harder. While not every guy feels this way, many men wish that someone who is not interested would just tell them that. It would make dating easier if you could instantly know that you should move on to the next potential date.

Because of how women are raised, you don’t always know if they are interested. Women are told that they have to be polite and smile, so they keep talking to you out of politeness. The smile that you hoped was a flirty signal was just her being polite and trying not to reject you outright. The short answers to your questions aren’t her being coy; she just doesn’t want to be rude and ignore you completely.

There are a few ways that you can tell when she clearly isn’t interested. If you come across these signs, then there is an excellent chance that she does not want to be with you.

– You asked for her number and she said no.
– You asked for her number, she gave you it, but she has never responded to any of your messages.
– You asked her out, and she said no.
– You started talking to her, and she keeps mentioning a boyfriend or husband.
– She tells you she is gay.
– She seems reluctant to talk to you, responds in one-word answers and seems focused on everything other than you.

why does she send mixed signals

Why Do Women Send Mixed Signals?

The previous examples are almost always signs that she is just not that interested in you. There are a few reasons why she might send genuine mixed signals though. She might not realize that she is sending mixed signals. She also might be naturally flirtatious, and she didn’t realize you liked her in any way. She could be legitimately changing her mind about your potential, or she may be trying to play hard to get. She also may be trying to cautiously feel you out and make sure that you are as good a catch as you appear.

1. She Doesn’t Realize She Is Sending Mixed Signals

She is flirting and smiling at you, but suddenly gets a text and leaves. Does she hate you or like you? Unfortunately, there is no way to know for sure, so proceed with caution. In this type of scenario, there may be a work or family emergency that she saw in the text. Her leaving might have nothing to do with you. Then again, she might be pretending to get the text to escape. Unless you are certain that this is the girl of your dreams, you may want to hold off on making the next move until she does.

2. She Thought You Wanted to Be Friends

Remember the movie “When Harry Met Sally”? The actors talked about how two people of different genders can never be friends because one person is always romantically interested in the other. While it is not always true that opposite genders cannot be friends, it is true that many “friends” have a secret crush on their friend.

While she thought that you just wanted to talk and be friends, you had a different goal in mind. Her mixed signals are because she is smiling and talking like a friend, but she does not like you as anything more. The best option for you is to figure this out as soon as possible. Ask her out. If she says no, you know that she only thinks of you as just a friend.

3. She Wants to Play Hard to Get

My personal feeling is that you should never date a girl who wants to play hard to get. She is either emotionally immature or is taking terrible dating advice. Guys aren’t mind readers, and intelligent, mature women know this. If she is playing hard to get deliberately, then there is an excellent chance that she is not going to be worth the trouble. She might be an option for a one-night stand, but she needs to emotionally mature before you consider her a real relationship possibility.

4. She Is a Natural Flirt

There are some women and men who are just natural flirts. They are outgoing and love talking to people. Unfortunately, other people misconstrue their kindness and outgoing nature as a sign of romantic interest. If your crush is like this, you can figure it out by seeing how she behaves with other people. If she treats other men or women the same way as she treats you, then your “mixed signals” are just a part of her personality. The good news? If she is outgoing, then she might make a move if she is interested.

5. She Is Being Cautious

There are constantly stories in the news about women getting date raped, mugged or drugged by guys. Most likely, she has been warned by her parents and loved ones her entire life that guys just want to have sex with her. By being cautious, she can see if you want more than a sexual fling and if you are a serial killer. You know what you want and that you are not a serial killer, but she doesn’t. It isn’t fair to you, but the news and bad guys have basically ruined courtship for the good guys.

In this situation, you have to take extra time to show that you are a trustworthy guy. Talk to her, flirt a bit more and see where things go. She is also seeing if you fit her list of traits that she wants in a partner, so give her time to get to know you before you make a major move. Once she feels comfortable, she will be able to show you exactly what she wants.

6. She Thought You Weren’t Interested

In some ways, this is one of the hardest reasons to experience. Like you, she is not a mind reader. When you hit on her, she may have just thought that you were a very friendly person who wanted to strike up a conversation. Initially, she tried to flirt back with you. Then, she started to fear that you just saw her as a friend. Because of this, she toned down her approach and stopped flirting back. She doesn’t want to be embarrassed or make things awkward by continuing to flirt with you, so she is playing it safe.

If you are sure that this is the case, then make your move. Ask for her number and make sure to include a kiss or heart emoji in your text back. Ask if she wants to get drinks with you or go on a date. Once she knows that you want more than friendship, she won’t feel as uncertain and can start flirting with you again.

7. She Likes You, But a Better Option Came Along

Sometimes, you spend weeks chatting up a girl before you go on a date. During those days, it is entirely possible that a beautiful, single woman will meet someone else. She seemed flirty when you first started talking, and her sudden change in behavior is because she has started talking to someone else. If she starts dating that guy, then she will probably stop flirting with you entirely.

Unfortunately, there are not a lot of options for you in this situation. Your best option is to let it go and move on. While it might bruise your ego, don’t take the rejection to heart too much. Everyone is looking for something different in a partner. My idea of a perfect partner and your idea are probably entirely different. She found someone who suits her ideal mate checklist better, but that does not mean that he is actually better. Relationships are like puzzle pieces, and she just happened to find a better fit.

How to Deal When You Get Mixed Signals From a Girldealing with mixed signals

When you get mixed signals from a girl, your first step is to figure out why they are happening. If you think that they occur because she is just being polite or is not interested, then back off. She probably will not change her mind. If you continue to hit on her, it will just be viewed as harassment by her and never get you a date. Instead, you just have to focus on moving on.

Reading other people’s emotions and mannerisms is not easy. It takes time to learn about another person, so mixed signals are common when you first meet someone. Be patient, pay attention to her responses and you will figure out what she wants sooner or later.


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