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My Boyfriend Doesn’t Make Time for Me

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When you are in a relationship, you want to spend all of your time with your boyfriend. You want to see him after a long day at work and go on dates on the weekend. While you don’t expect him to devote every waking minute to you, you do expect him to at least go out with you on the weekends. When your boyfriend does not make time for you, then it is extremely troubling. You are starting to wonder if he is just emotionally absent or does not really care about the relationship.

he says he loves me but doesn't make time for me

In the majority of cases, this is not a good sign. Unless there is an obvious reason why he cannot spend time with you, it generally means that he is not really committed to having a relationship. A boyfriend may not spend time with you because he doesn’t really want to be a part of the relationship. He wants to enjoy the benefits of the relationship, but he does not want to commit too much of his time or money to the relationship.

A boyfriend may also be avoiding you if he is thinking about breaking up. He might not be certain about it yet, or he may be afraid of how you will respond. If he used to spend time with you and suddenly stops, then there is an excellent chance that he is rethinking whether he wants to be in a relationship or not.

While it is not always the case, many women wonder if a boyfriend who doesn’t make time is cheating. This is not always the reason why, but it is a potential cause for his behavior. If he is suddenly secretive and used to spend time with you, then you may have a justified reason to be worried. The biggest thing to look for is changes in behavior. If he has always been like this for the most part, then it is just who he is.

You should be careful, however. A change in behavior does not always mean cheating or a break up. If you have a close relationship, then you probably have a clear idea of how things are going at work or school. If he has a major project at work or he is helping a friend through a difficult time, then it is entirely possible that these problems are the reason why his behavior changed. It is hard to balance everything during the best of times. If he is suddenly under a lot of stress and working long hours, then his lack of time may just be because he genuinely does not have any spare time. Even when he gets a few hours off, he might need a few minutes to unwind and relax alone to recharge.

how to make my boyfriend want to spend more time with me

What Should You Do If Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Make Time for You?

What you do in this situation depends entirely on the reason for his behavior. If you think that he is not emotionally committed to the relationship or wants a break up, then you might want to end the relationship. Obviously, you should probably talk to him about how you feel before you just assume that he wants to end things. Give him a chance to let you know what is going on.

If he is busy at work, school or with his family, then you might need to relax and let him handle things on his own. He can only focus on so many things at any given time, so you can support him and give him the space he needs to take care of everything else. Let him know that you are there for him if he needs help and that you understand that he is busy.

When your boyfriend has never made time for you in the entire relationship, your best bet is to just talk to him about it. In many cases, the boyfriend does not even realize how his behavior is perceived. He may be used to being a single guy who gets to go to work, hang out with friends and spend most of his free time relaxing. He also may be afraid of seeming needy by asking you to spend time with him every day. Whatever the reason, there is an excellent chance that he has no clue how you feel. The only way that he will ever figure out how you feel about this is if you talk to him about it.



In general, your best choice is to just talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. Let him know that you enjoy spending time with him, and you are confused that he never wants to spend time with you. Make sure that you emphasize that you do not expect him to spend every day with you or to text you every other hour. You just want to get a chance to see him on the weekend or enjoy a nice dinner together every once in a while.

4 COMMENTS

  1. I found this article helpful but I’m just frustrated that we always have to be so understanding to men being so clueless. I feel like we’re always lowering our standards

    • If you feel as though you are lowering your standards and you are not happy with doing so, then keep your standards the same. Perhaps look for people that you want to develop a relationship with. You may want to spend time developing your hobbies and interests. You may find someone with similar ideas in the future. Have a great day, Jenn!

    • The best thing that you could do is just talk to him calmly about how you feel. He can’t know that you want more attention and time unless you tell him. If he is not willing to be with you, then it doesn’t bode well for the relationship. The next time you are alone, sit him down and tell him how you feel. Best of luck, Nontle!

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