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My Boyfriend Never Buys Me Anything


Your relationship seems perfect. Your boyfriend is fairly attentive, and he spends time with you constantly. The only problem is that he never buys you anything. You don’t really care about material things, but you have bought him gifts in the past. You are just surprised that he never returned the gesture. What does it really mean when your boyfriend never buys you anything?

Like most relationship issues, this one is highly personal. There are a few common reasons that are the most likely answers, but it all depends on the situation. You have to consider factors like how long you two have dated, what your relationship is like, if he has a history of buying you things and the rest of the situation. Once you have considered these factors, you can start to determine the reason why he never buys you anything. If you have dated for a while, you could also just ask him and find out the real answer.

1. He Does Not Have Money

This is probably the most common reason why a guy does not buy you anything. He just does not have the money to spend. Sure, he could spend $1-$5 on getting you your favorite food or something very simple. He is probably afraid that you would view such a cheap gift with disgust or think that he is a cheapskate. Instead of buying you what he can actually afford and be embarrassed, he chooses to buy you nothing instead.

2. He Does Not Know What You Want

On the first Christmas after I married my husband, I set up an amazing Christmas tree and decorated the whole house. I knew that my husband was terrible at buying gifts, so I made it easier for him. After cleaning the entire house, I set out just one store ad where he sits on the couch. On the ad, there were obvious circles around the types of things that I liked or would be interested in getting. The ad was the only thing out in the entire house, but he did not notice it. After getting some surprising gifts, I asked why he did not use the ad I gave him. It turns out, guys don’t get hints—even if they are fairly obvious ones. If you have been hinting about a new sweater or perfume, don’t be surprised if he does not get it. If you have been together for long enough, ask him what he wants for a gift. Then, tell him the types of gifts you want. Guys aren’t mind readers (or anything close, either), so just tell him what you want.

3. He Is Not Ready Yet

Gifts might not seem like it, but they actually demonstrate a certain stage in your relationship. You don’t give gifts to someone on a first or second date. If he gets you a gift, it is a sign that he views you as a long-term relationship. He might not be ready for this yet, so he is holding off on the gift buying.

4. He Does Not Like Gifts

Believe it or not, there are a number of people who do not like gifts. My husband is one of them. I generally buy him his favorite foods to show that I love him because he always loves to eat. As for other gifts, he hates anything that does not have a use or a purpose. If it does have a practical purpose, he has probably bought it for himself already.

A perfect example of this is our yearly Christmas gifts. For years, my husband told his parents that he did not want any gifts. Finally, they forced him to tell them something he needed: socks. Now, we get packages of socks every year. Since they keep giving us socks, we now have a pile of about 20 packages in our closet. Short of setting up a sock store, we have nothing to do with them.

Many guys are the same way. They do not like gifts or feel uncomfortable about them. He might assume that you feel the same way, or he is afraid that you will try to give him a gift if you get him something. Either way, this could be a very real reason why he is not buying you a gift.

5. He Is Lazy or Does Not Care

If your boyfriend is lazy, he might not want to put in the work of figuring out what you want and actually buying it for you. His lack of gifts might also show that he does not really care. He may not want to invest too much in a relationship that he thinks will end. This is not always the reason, but it is a possibility.

Question Your Motives

Before you confront your boyfriend, you should also consider your own motives. If he is a loving, thoughtful boyfriend in every way, then the lack of gifts does not mean anything about your relationship. He might not be a “gift” kind of person. Some people get too focused on what a partner can do for them or buy for them. This is never a good idea for a relationship, so it is definitely something that you should avoid.


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