When you start dating a new girl, it might be enough to just bask in their presence, but if you want things to work out in the long-term, you need to ask questions. After a certain point, physical attraction needs to exist alongside a deeper emotional connection.
Then there’s also the matter of compatibility, when you’re smitten with someone, it’s easy to overlook all the ways that your values and priorities might conflict, but with time any of these issues will cause problems.
To ensure that you have the best relationship possible you need to ask the right questions. But for many guys, it can be hard to come up with those questions when you’re in the presence of a lady who truly takes your breath away.
Fortunately, you’re not in this alone; you’ve got us to help you find the right questions to ask. We’ve prepared a list of, 40 questions you can ask your girlfriend to get to know her better. Please note, this isn’t a quiz you have to give her in one sitting, reading your way through them one by one.
Pick and choose the questions that stand out to you and stagger them. No one likes to feel like their being drilled by a police interrogator.
1. What is your favorite restaurant to eat at?
Everyone likes to be taken out to their favorite restaurant. Learn what hers is, and you’ll know where to take her after she’s had a hard, day.
2. What is your favorite breakfast food?
If she ever spends the night, you should treat her to her favorite food the next day for extra points.
3. Do you believe in an afterlife?
Belief and death are two very difficult things to discuss, but they are also some of the most important topics of human thought. At some point, they will come up, and this question is a decent way to broach the subject.
4. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?
Whether you like it or not you are going to get compared to her past boyfriends. If you want to come out on top, it’s worth finding out about the most romantic gesture in her past and coming up with a way to top it.
5. What makes you feel appreciated?
Everyone needs to feel like they are valued. There are few things worse than feeling forgotten or unappreciated. This issue is complicated by the fact that different people require different things to feel truly appreciated. Find out the key to satisfying your girlfriend in this area.
6. What stresses you out?
The last thing you want to do is contribute to her stress. All relationships have their ups and downs, but a good relationship should be a stress reliever rather than a cause of stress when everything is tallied up.
7. How do you relax?
Once you know how she relaxes you can help her deal with her stress. You want to be there for her in any way you can.
8. How important is “alone time” to you?
Everyone needs to be alone from time to time, but some people need more of that time than others. If a girl needs her distance, then you should give it to her.
No one wants to feel smothered. Of course, on the other hand, some women have trouble being alone, and you might need to give her more of your time than you’re used to if you want her to be happy.
9. How do you define cheating?
Make it clear that you aren’t asking for permission! That’s crucial. Feel free to reword this to make it sound less suspicious, but one way or another you need to try and figure out what sort of boundaries your girlfriend believes in. There are some acts that are clearly cheating, but there are also actions that fall into a gray area.
10. Do you like kids?
Eventually, every couple needs to talk about kids. For most of human history, the entire point of a relationship was to make and raise babies.
Now there’s more room for freedom, but the question is always still waiting in the wings. This question gets you into the ballpark without having to come out and ask if she wants to pop a kid out anytime soon.
11. How many men have you dated?
You might also want to ask what she considers “dating” since most girls will try and give you the lowest number possible. The key to getting an honest answer is being open and non-judgmental. If you act like you look down on girls who have dated a lot of men, of course, she’ll be hesitant to tell you that she’s one of those girls.
12. Do you prefer the city or the country?
Is your girl a city slicker or a country girl at heart? You can run into trouble if your ideals don’t match hers.
13. Are you living where you want to live?
This can be a good follow-up to the last question. If your girlfriend isn’t happy where she is she is probably thinking about moving. Would you be willing to move with her?
14. Do you believe you can predict the future?
Lots of people believe in things like horoscopes and fortune tellers, find out what your girl thinks.
15. What type of guy do you find yourself attracted to?
This can be a painful question when you find out that you don’t fit her normal type. Still, that sort of answer means there must be something special that attracted her to you.
16. Do you prefer spontaneous dates or carefully planned outings?
You don’t want to spring surprises on girls that hate them, and you don’t want to let things get too tedious with girls who crave spontaneity.
17. What is your favorite song?
This question can lead into the broader topic of music in general. Most people are passionate about music, and you can bet that she’ll want to play her favorite music around you eventually. See if you can find common ground.
18. Cats or dogs?
If you want to have a pet in the future, this is a good thing to know. You can also tell something about a person’s personality from their answer.
19. What are three things you couldn’t live without?
Asking for three things is helpful since most people feel obligated to give certain answers. This question will give you a sense of what their priorities are.
20. Do you think life has a purpose?
Find out if your girl is a dreamer or a cynic.
21. Is there anything you want to change about yourself?
Be careful with this question, as a guy you might want to help your girl make changes, but in reality, you’re better off encouraging them.
Girls put plenty of pressure on themselves without you adding any more. Find out what she’s self-conscious about and then avoid teasing them about it or doing anything that will hurt them.
22. What is the weirdest thing that annoys you?
Everyone has unique pet peeves, find out what bothers your girlfriend in particular.
23. Do you spend money quicker than you make it?
Nothing can destroy a relationship quite like money issues. If your girlfriend is a debt magnet, you need to find out sooner rather than later.
24. Did you ever have a rebellious period?
If your girlfriend has never been rebellious in her life, then she’s overdue for one. Plan accordingly.
25. Where is your favorite place to be touched?
Women are complex creatures; no two are exactly alike. Your current girlfriend might hate being touched the way your last girlfriend enjoyed being touched. Find out what your girlfriend wants and then give it to her.
26. How do you know you’re in love?
Everyone means something different when they say the words “I love you,” and yet too many people never ask this question. Don’t just go through life making assumptions, find out what love means to your girlfriend so you can understand what she’s really saying.
27. What is your favorite kind of flower?
Flowers are a great gift, and they’re even better when you’ve picked out her favorites.
28. What do you like most about me?
Get her thinking about your positive aspects. You will also know what to accentuate about yourself once you know her answer.
29. How was your relationship with your parents?
As much as we hate to admit it our ideas about love are often shaped by the experiences we had with the relationship our parents had.
Difficulties with parents can lead to trouble with love later in life. If you want to understand the way your girl treats you it’s worth learning about her relationship with her father.
30. Has a book ever changed your life?
If you like intellectual girls this question is especially telling. If she can’t name a book and you are a bookworm, then you might be in trouble.
31. How quickly do you fall in love?
Some people fall in love at the drop of a hat while others take a long time to get close to. Dating someone who is guarded can be a frustrating experience, but once you find your way into their heart, you can feel confident about where you stand.
People who are more impulsive about falling in love also tend to be quicker to move on to someone new; everything has its ups and downs.
32. What’s your guilty pleasure?
Everyone has one, and you can learn a lot about a person from finding out what their guilty pleasure is. Just try not to tease her about hers too much.
33. What is the one thing you would save from a house fire?
Find out which possessions she values the most.
34. How do you get your news?
Does she read the newspaper or get all of her news from Facebook? Hopefully, you aren’t too far from one another in this area. If you’re a news nut and she isn’t, or vice versa conversation topics can dry up quick.
35. How close are you to your family?
If you are in a relationship with a girl who is close to her family, then you can bet that you’ll have to find a way to integrate yourself with the family.
If your girl isn’t close to her own family, then she might be looking to you as a sort of surrogate family. The whole issue can get complicated quickly, find out what you can to navigate these potentially turbulent waters.
36. If you could visit one other country which would it be?
Find out if she’s worldly or content to stay at home. Hopefully, you can share a mutual day of traveling someday or just staying home. What matters is that you share compatible passions.
37. What are you most afraid of?
Fear can define people just as much as hope. Make sure you respect her fears, even if you can’t understand them.
38. Who are your most important friends, past and present?
We are all defined by the company we keep. Her friends were around before you were and if you leave her friends will be there after you. Respect that and try and get to know the people she cares about.
39. Do you feel like you’re living true to yourself?
Many of us are living lives that were thrust upon us rather than living lives of our own choosing. As her partner you should try and encourage your girlfriend to live honestly, showing her that you accept her for the person she is.
40. What do you want to achieve in your life?
It’s important to learn about her hopes and dreams. These will shape her future, and if you want to be a part of her future, you should try and make sure you fit into her dreams.
If you do, then you can help and encourage her. If you don’t fit into her goals, then you should think carefully about where your relationship is going?