All relationships are different no matter who you are. And although they are unique for each person, there are generally 9 stages that each relationship goes through no matter how different they are. If you’ve ever been in a relationship – no matter how long it was, you’ll remember each of these stages.
Most couples don’t even realize that they’re going through these stages when they do. In fact, usually only other people really notice these pivotal points in each relationship. If you want to make sure your relationship is on the right track, these are the stages you should look for.
- The Lust Stage
This is the very first stage you go through with your significant other. You’re attached to them and basically obsessed with everything about them. This is the stage where you spend all your time together and only want to have each other to yourselves. This is also the stage where you can hook up multiple times in a day and never get sick of it. You may have also heard this stage as the “honeymoon phase” many times before and that’s pretty accurate. This is where neither of you can do wrong and you see the other person is such a bright light and you want nothing more than to be with them every minute of every day.
- Defining the Relationship
After the lust stage, you usually enter the defining the relationship phase. You’ve been hanging out and hooking up for quite some time and now you have to determine what it all means. This can be one of the harder stages because if you’re both not on the same page it can cause some heartache. You will usually know when this stage hits when you go to your friends and gossip about what everything your partner means. You’ll also end up asking yourself if they have deep feelings for you or if you see yourself with them for a long period of time. Either way, if you have a discussion about “what you are”, you’re in the defining the relationship phase.
- Meeting of Important People
After you’ve both figured out what you are, it’s time for the stage of meeting all the important people in your lives. This means friends and more importantly, family. During this stage you will be exposed to all of the people who mean the most to your significant other and it can often be a making or breaking point. If they don’t like you, there may be some issues that arise in the relationship. However, this stage usually goes by without any problems and you even find more confidence in your relationship after have met the most important people to your significant other. They’ll also feel better about you and fall for you more after you meet all of the people they care for.
- Deep Knowing
In this stage, you’ll begin to really get to know your significant other inside and out. You’ll learn about all their deepest desires, their life goals, and who they are as a person. This is when you spend hours on the phone discussing important topics putting the pieces of their life together in your own mind. You’ll also be sharing so much about yourself in this stage, too. You’ll let your guard down completely and let them in and allow them to see you for who you really are and not just for this perfect person who is always happy. You may end up crying during this stage or getting into little arguments that help each of you to understand each other on a deeper and more emotional level.
- The Comfortable Stage
After you know each other deeply and still care for each other, you will start to become very comfortable around them. This is usually the best and also the worst stage at the same time because you are allowing yourself to fall into a routine with someone. This is difficult sometimes because when a relationship doesn’t work out, this is the part you miss the most. Therefore, you are most guarded in this stage. However, once you finally do settle into a life with them, you’ll feel more comfortable and at home than you ever have before.
- The Slow Stage
This stage is the best part because it’s easy and slow. You just get to sit back and enjoy your life with the person you care about the most. It’s slow and steady. All you really do is go home to them at night, relax while watching a movie, and there isn’t really a fuss. Many people may describe this stage as “boring” or just “uneventful”, but it’s also a really important stage to go through. It’s the smooth sailing stage where everything is going well and it’s all relaxed and comfortable with relative no issues at all.
- Arguing Stage
We all go through this stage and it just might be the worst stage there is. You know those couples that used to be all lovey-dovey and perfect until one day they just start to bicker about seemingly everything? This is the arguing stage and all couples go through it. Basically, this is when you just kind of get annoyed with everything your significant other does and everything they have to say is something you want to argue against. This is also the stage where the jealousy and insecurities may come out every once in a while – which usually results in more fights. Have no fear, this stage is completely healthy and will fade away. If it doesn’t, then maybe it’s not meant to be.
- Settling Down
After your argumentative stage, things will begin to settle into a healthy and happy relationship. If you can get past all of the things that caused the fights, you’ll be able to relax into a relationship that is comfortable and you’ll both know what makes the other mad and what topics to avoid in order to steer clear of troublesome conversations. By this stage, you’ll also have worked out the kinks in the relationship that threaten to ruin it. You’ll both know what to do in order to make the other person feel happy and loved and you’ll have no problem putting these things into action to create a happy relationship.
This is the best and last relationship stage that all couples go through. This is when you finally know your significant other inside and out. At this point, you’ll have a very clear idea of who they are and if they’re someone you want to spend your life with. You accept them for who they are an all their fault and flaws. Even if they’re not perfect, you love them for who they are and would love nothing more than to spend your life making them happy. This may come as an “ah-ha” moment and you may also never realize you feel this way about them. The bottom line is that if you make it to this stage, your relationship is set up to be happy and healthy for a very long time.
Relationships are not all the same and some of these stages may come in different orders depending on the type of relationship you have with someone. One thing, however, that’s clear is that you need these stages for a heal