Whether you just like a good joke or are studying geology, rock puns can come in handy. These rock puns and jokes can help you break the ice. Many of the puns can easily be transformed into new, unique jokes, so you can use this list to inspire your own rock puns.
1. What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
2. You should never expect perfection from geologists because they all have their faults.
3. Why are geologists never hungry? They lost their apatite.
4. What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
5. What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
6. You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
7. What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam? No fracking way!
8. This rock was magma before it was cool. Get it?
9. Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
10. What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
11. What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
12. What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
13. If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other. This is a great pick-up line that basically means you would put “U” and “I” together.
14. Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
15. How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
16. Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
17. What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
18. What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
19. What do you do with dead geologists? You barium.
20. Why are geologists so good in school? They take nothing for granite.
21. Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry? He wanted to be a little boulder.
22. I really hate rock puns. My sediments exactly.
23. Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced? He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.
24. Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
25. What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just drinks anything that is distilled.
26. What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
27. What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
28. Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen? Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
29. Did you hear about the geologist who kept reading a book on helium? He couldn’t put it down.
30. What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
31. What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
32. What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
33. Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
34. Why are geologists great dates? They can make your bedrock.
35. What did Darth Vader tell the geologist? May the quartz be with you!
36. Why do geologists never look old? They never wrinkle and just show lineation.
37. Why was the geologist kicked out of school? He was a dirty later.
38. Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
39. What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
40. Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
41. What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
42. What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
43. Why do geologists grow old gracefully? They never lose their luster.
44. Kiss a geologist and eel the earthquake. This would be a fun rock joke that you could use as a pick-up line.
45. Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium are dating? OMg! My sediments exactly.
46. Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
47. How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
48. What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
49. Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
50. If H20 is water, what is the formula for ice? H20 cubed.
51. Why should you never give your car to a geologist? Because they are always hammered and stoned.
52. If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
53. Why was the geologist always depressed? He had a hard rock life.
54. Why should you date a geologist? Because they are hung like a horst.
55. Why should you never give a geologist money? Because they think a million years in the past was recent.
56. Was your dad a geologist? Because you give me volcanic eruptions! This rock pick-up line is a bit corny, but it might make her smile.
57. Why are geologists great dates? They are very sedimental.
58. Why did the geologist buy tickets for Lollapalooza? He wanted to get his rock on.
59. What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
60. Why did the geology student drown to death? His grades were below C-level.
61. Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
62. What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
63. Why are geologists such great friends? They are always very down to earth.
64. What did the psychologist say to the geologist? After every decline, there is a great break through.
65. Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
66. Why are geologists never picky in relationships? Because they will date anything.
67. Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
68. Why do old geologists never actually die? They just recrystallize.
69. Why are geologists such great comedians? They always know the best dirty jokes.
70. How about we get behind that rock and get a bit boulder? Use pick-up line on your date with a geologist.
71. Why can’t you tell the geology student a joke? They just fluorite over his head.
72. Why are geologists no fun at parties? They like to be stone-cold sober.
73. Why did the geologist never have any money? Because everything was always on shale.
74. Why are geologists such excellent workers? They like to do a solid job.
75. Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.