Home Love & Relationship She Never Texts First But Always Replies. What Does It Mean?

She Never Texts First But Always Replies. What Does It Mean?


‘Is she interested? Or is she telling me she isn’t interested?

It might start to get frustrating when you like a girl, but you don’t feel like she likes you all the same. We know this can be a major let down and leave your confidence feeling as if it has been drug straight through the dirt. Like when you are always the only one who texts firsts and initiates the conversation between the two of you. Surely this can leave you feeling a little in the dark about how she feels towards you. But then you start getting even more confused because even though she doesn’t initiate contact, she responds to your texts. What could this mean? Her not talking to you first makes it feel as if she doesn’t like you, but then again when she responds it seems like she does!

We get that this is a confusing as heck situation. Which is exactly why we are here to help you figure this whole mess out.

Remember that there is more than a black or white answer to this whole ordeal. There are other factors that you are going to want to consider before deciding what you think is going on with her. Let’s walk through what those factors are to help you decide whether or not she really likes you or if she’s just simply being polite.

She Never Texts First But Always Replies. What Does It Mean

The Factors

Your Relationship: What your relationship is to her is going to be huge when trying to figure this whole thing out. Have you known her for a long time? Are you friends? Did the two of you just meet? You might be wondering why this matters at all. Well, the longer the two of you have known each other the better chance you have at maintaining a relationship through texting, such as a friendship, with her. Meaning she just doesn’t think about texting you first, but it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t enjoy talking to you in response. However, if the two of you barely know each other then she is probably only responding to you because she feels obligated to or because she feels like she should be polite.

Timing: You will want to think about the timing of everything. What do we mean by this? We mean to think about how long it takes her to reply when you first text her. Also consider how many times you have to text her to get a response in the first place. More than likely if it is taking her hours to get back to you, she is probably not all that interested in talking to you in the first place. But it’s important not to jump to any conclusions, because you will also want to think about when you are texting her. If you are always texting her in the morning and not getting a quick response or getting a morning message from her, you might want to ask if she is up that early or if she has a job that keeps her busy at that time. If she takes a long time to reply, you might want to consider that she had other things going on at the time.

Then again if she is consistently taking hours to reply each and every time you text her, she might not be very interested in talking to you.

Subject Of Messages: Another factor to consider is what she is saying when she responds to you. Are the messages short? Do they not really say much? Does she only ever say things like LOL or OK? Or are they full of substance? Do they have actual meaning to them. Think about whether or not she asks personal questions or if she keeps the messages she sends back as non personal as can be. The latter can be a sign that she is only responding to be nice, but not that she actually has interest in continuing a conversation with you.

Length Of Conversation: When you send a message to her and she responds, does she continue the conversation for a long period of time? Or does she just respond once or twice and then she disappears? When a girl likes you she will make the effort to hold a conversation with you. However, if she has no interest in you she will keep the length of time that you text to a minimum to prevent you from getting any wrong idea in your head.

Reasons She Might Respond, But Not Initiate

She Likes You But…: She likes you, but she is a very busy person. She might also feel nervous about being the first one to start the conversation. It could be that she is just old fashioned and thinks that a guy should start the convo first. Who knows! Some women are like that.

She’s Just Being Polite: She might only be responding to your texts because she feels it would be rude to stay silent. This usually is the case if she keeps the texts very short and impersonal.

Now you have all the info you need to help you decide what it means when she never texts first but always replies!


  1. So I met this woman on Tinder, we have went on quite a few dates and we have even introduced our kids over the last 6 weeks, we have had our own dates and also have done quite a bit with the kids as well, including just hanging out. At the beginning I was texting her first all the time, she always responds, then 4 weeks in she started getting really flirty in texts, sending me pics of her and was even texting first quite a bit. Last weekend on Friday, we discussed the topic of relationship, I told her I liked her a lot and was crazy about her and she said that she wants to take it slow, that she does like me and that we are obviously attracted to each other. So she just wants to date for now, we even discussed and said that we would date each other exclusively. So we had a date the next night and everything was great. But after that all a sudden she has stopped flirting in texts and stopped texting first but she does Always reply to my texts. But the previous couple weeks we had seen each other quite a bit, then we had that conversation and it just seems like she completely backed off the last week after our relationship conversation compared to the previous couple weeks, I didn’t see her for the whole last week until Friday we did something else with the kids, I briefly discussed going out or doing something Saturday evening and I went to her daughters game saturday morning, she said she was going to take a nap after the game, I texted her back ok, text me later. Well she didn’t text me back that night and I texted her the next morning and we were texting back and forth.
    She does have 2 kids and a full time job. I just feel like she’s backing off or Am I just being paranoid, does she just not like to text first, but why did she for a couple weeks then stop.

    • The two of you met on a social media application. You shared a strong social relationship and she felt comfortable sending your flirtatious images. The two of you were dating exclusively, and then her behaviors changed. It is certainly possible that she is busy between her children and work. It is possible that there is another influence in her life. When the two of you meet up in person again, you may want to speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. This will help the two of you determine what is appropriate for the future of your relationship. Have a great day, Lee!

  2. So I met this one girl at church. I just said god bless you to her and then she started a whole conversation with. She was so pretty and polite and that’s attractive to me. So I asked for her Facebook and from there I was expecting for her to text me first but nah I had to. The first message I sent her was asking her if she knew these people I know. She responded and I had to text first. Then the next day we start texting a lot about personal things for like a couple of days back in December 2019. Then we texted last month a little until suddenly she started getting dryer. She used to send me long text but now she sends me medium to small sized texts. Since the start I’ve always had to text her first. She never texted me first, ever. But yeah she got dyer and I just feel bad for texting her now. She was so talkative in person but online she started getting less talkative. Then she confessed that she’s not really that social. I was surprised because she seemed very social at church with me and her family that goes to the same church as me. I’m so confused rn please help.

    • The two of you share similar interests, and it seems that you are interested in maintaining a relationship with her. She does not seem to speak over the phone, so you should attempt to spend additional time with her in person. If possible, you should try to spend time with her before, during, or after church.

  3. I met a girl through Tinder. We’ve been on 3 dates and all of them lasted over 7 hours each. We got physical on the 3rd. She doesn’t ask me a lot of questions on dates. Nor has she ever initiated conversation in text. However, she says I’m amazing and talks to her friends about me and how they’re impressed. She drove a long way to see me too. I think she is seeing other people which is normal. Why shouldn’t I take the lack of initiating text or asking me questions about myself as a red flag? What exactly could she want from me if she doesn’t seem interested?

    • You can choose to take whatever behaviors you want as a red flag, however that is simply a reflection of your experiences. It seems that she is interested in you, but it is possible that your intuition is right. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of your relationship. If you find that you were right, then keep that knowledge in mind for the future.

  4. So I met this girl at work and we really hit it off. She is very adamant about not dating people at work, but it’s kind of hard because the chemistry is there. But here is the kicker. She never text me first. If we talk, I always initiate but she never lets me end the conversation. The only time it ends is when she has fallen asleep. Even when she is out with family and friends, she constantly text. But, when I ask her out, she always respectfully declines. What do I do?

    • She has shared her thoughts with you regarding your relationship. You may find that the two of you are nourishing a friendship, and your mutual feelings may grow. However, you should not ask her out at this time. It is appropriate for you to continue to text her. If either of you leave your work, then she may want to attempt to date you.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here