Home Love & Relationship She Never Texts First But Always Replies. What Does It Mean?

She Never Texts First But Always Replies. What Does It Mean?

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‘Is she interested? Or is she telling me she isn’t interested?

It might start to get frustrating when you like a girl, but you don’t feel like she likes you all the same. We know this can be a major let down and leave your confidence feeling as if it has been drug straight through the dirt. Like when you are always the only one who texts firsts and initiates the conversation between the two of you. Surely this can leave you feeling a little in the dark about how she feels towards you. But then you start getting even more confused because even though she doesn’t initiate contact, she responds to your texts. What could this mean? Her not talking to you first makes it feel as if she doesn’t like you, but then again when she responds it seems like she does!

We get that this is a confusing as heck situation. Which is exactly why we are here to help you figure this whole mess out.

Remember that there is more than a black or white answer to this whole ordeal. There are other factors that you are going to want to consider before deciding what you think is going on with her. Let’s walk through what those factors are to help you decide whether or not she really likes you or if she’s just simply being polite.

She Never Texts First But Always Replies. What Does It Mean

The Factors

Your Relationship: What your relationship is to her is going to be huge when trying to figure this whole thing out. Have you known her for a long time? Are you friends? Did the two of you just meet? You might be wondering why this matters at all. Well, the longer the two of you have known each other the better chance you have at maintaining a relationship through texting, such as a friendship, with her. Meaning she just doesn’t think about texting you first, but it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t enjoy talking to you in response. However, if the two of you barely know each other then she is probably only responding to you because she feels obligated to or because she feels like she should be polite.

Timing: You will want to think about the timing of everything. What do we mean by this? We mean to think about how long it takes her to reply when you first text her. Also consider how many times you have to text her to get a response in the first place. More than likely if it is taking her hours to get back to you, she is probably not all that interested in talking to you in the first place. But it’s important not to jump to any conclusions, because you will also want to think about when you are texting her. If you are always texting her in the morning and not getting a quick response or getting a morning message from her, you might want to ask if she is up that early or if she has a job that keeps her busy at that time. If she takes a long time to reply, you might want to consider that she had other things going on at the time.

Then again if she is consistently taking hours to reply each and every time you text her, she might not be very interested in talking to you.

Subject Of Messages: Another factor to consider is what she is saying when she responds to you. Are the messages short? Do they not really say much? Does she only ever say things like LOL or OK? Or are they full of substance? Do they have actual meaning to them. Think about whether or not she asks personal questions or if she keeps the messages she sends back as non personal as can be. The latter can be a sign that she is only responding to be nice, but not that she actually has interest in continuing a conversation with you.

Length Of Conversation: When you send a message to her and she responds, does she continue the conversation for a long period of time? Or does she just respond once or twice and then she disappears? When a girl likes you she will make the effort to hold a conversation with you. However, if she has no interest in you she will keep the length of time that you text to a minimum to prevent you from getting any wrong idea in your head.

Reasons She Might Respond, But Not Initiate

She Likes You But…: She likes you, but she is a very busy person. She might also feel nervous about being the first one to start the conversation. It could be that she is just old fashioned and thinks that a guy should start the convo first. Who knows! Some women are like that.

She’s Just Being Polite: She might only be responding to your texts because she feels it would be rude to stay silent. This usually is the case if she keeps the texts very short and impersonal.

Now you have all the info you need to help you decide what it means when she never texts first but always replies!

143 COMMENTS

  1. She tells me she is seriously into me, but when she is busy or busy and with friends, I get completely ignored. She has no time to text me, but has time to tweet or retweet tweets. Anyone please say it to my face, what is this?

    • When she is with her friends, she is interested in maintaining that social relationship. It is possible that she feels strong feelings for you. She may be interested in developing a relationship with you. She may not like to communicate over text. Determine what you want for your future, and speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Lurker!

    • She may feel as though you should understand what she is saying. If there are difficulties in communicating over text messages, then speak with her in person. Determine what you want for your future. Spend additional time with her in person, as this will strengthen your relationship. Have a great day, Max!

  2. We know each other from last 7 years.. And also it was the first time we spoke.. Then for next 6 years we didn’t talked to each other but there was this thing that, we both would stare at each other..,. We both are in sports n also she’s from different town.. So we meet only at the time of championship (i.e..,thrice in a year).. She was there for my very tournament (watching me)….but we never spoked to each other face to face for that 6 yrs…
    But last year we talked (after 6yrs) (when I stopped playing sports).. Then we started talking on social media.. (on Instagram n fb)… She has huge fan following.. Of which she follows very few (she also follows me)… Now it’s been months we have been talking to each other.. She talked to me about kind of relationship in which she believes n all… She replies to all my text but she never texts me first.. (I have to start conversation by sharing a post most of the times 😅on Instagram )…..( She’s lives different town..)… My friends think that she likes me (n they r 100%sure about it).. Yess I like her alot.. But don’t know if she likes me too..?.. So.. Is there any one who can help me out with this..?

    • Your friends have shared their thoughts with you. She responds to you, though she is likely too busy to reach out and may be uncertain about your thoughts and feelings. You can certainly continue to nourish this relationship. You may find benefit in attempting to spend additional time with him in person, as this will help your strengthen your connection. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. Have a great day, Nik!

      • There’s one thing I forgot to share yesterday which is… She asked whether I am single or not.. And after a month again she asked me if I have any gf… What is your opinion about this

        • She asked about your relationship status. This is an indication that she is interested in maintaining a relationship with you. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Nik!

          • She shared her thoughts and feelings with you. You may want to speak with her about your ideas as well. Determine what you believe is appropriate and viable at this time. Nourish your relationship by spending additional time with her in person. Have a great day, Nik!

  3. We know each other from last 7 years.. And also it was the first time we spoke.. Then for next 6 years we didn’t talked to each other but there was this thing that, we both would stare at each other..,. We both are in sports n also she’s from different town.. So we meet only at the time of championship (i.e..,thrice in a year).. She was there for my very tournament (watching me)….but we never spoked to each other face to face for that 6 yrs…
    But last year we talked (after 6yrs) (when I stopped playing sports).. Then we started talking on social media.. (on Instagram n fb)… She has huge fan following.. Of which she follows very few (she also follows me)… Now it’s been months we have been talking to each other.. She talked to me about kind of relationship in which she believes n all… (Also she has asked me if m single or not… N also after few months she again asked me if I have any girlfriend) She replies to all my text but she never texts me first.. (I have to start conversation by sharing a post most of the times 😅on Instagram )…..( She’s lives different town..)… My friends think that she likes me (n they r 100%sure about it).. Yess I like her alot.. But don’t know if she likes me too..?.. So.. Is there any one who can help me out with this..?

    • Your friends have shared their thoughts with you. She responds to you, though she is likely too busy to reach out and may be uncertain about your thoughts and feelings. You can certainly continue to nourish this relationship. You may find benefit in attempting to spend additional time with him in person, as this will help your strengthen your connection. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. Have a great day, Yash!

  4. So me and my ex girlfriend recently started to have contact again, she broke up with me about 1,5 years ago. I was the one initiating the contact, after sending a couple of unanswered text I send one final and asked her out for dinner. She replied the next day and said yes We went out for dinner and out to a club and spend the next day at my place. I tried to call her but my number is still blocked, I’ve been blocked more or less since we broke up. We have been using WhatsApp. The next day I send her a message and she replied, so I have been the one initiating the communication and trying to keep it going. A couple of days ago I send a text asking her to go bowling and she said yes, however she wanted to know that I understand that we are just friends. I said sure, we are friends. Here replies are always late at night and they are short. So how should I proceed.

    • She has shared her thoughts and feelings with you. She wants to maintain a relationship with you as friends, and she is not interested in maintaining a romantic relationship. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. You may continue this relationship as her friend, but do not expect that this relationship will grow. Regardless of your decisions, continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. Have a great day, Lars!

  5. Meet her at a her job (she’s a waitress). She gave me her (good sign) and we text. But when I ask her out she’s always busy. She never initiates texting, but will respond and converse for hours.. if I text first. But, if I go cold and don’t text her, she never will text. But if I see her at job and don’t sit in her section she’s not happy with me. I think she likes me (she says she does) but not sure. She says she misses me but I don’t know very confusing. Am I just a good tipper she wants to keep around? Or is she scared, shy?

    • The two of you share a strong social connection. She enjoys talking with you for extended periods of time. She has given you a reason for her behaviors. She is busy. She is likely not lying to you. She is working and likely has other responsibilities as well. Perhaps attempt to speak with her again about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Confused!

  6. I met this girl at her job, she’s a waitress. The attraction was instantaneous. Needless to say I kept coming back just to see her. She eventually gave me her number and we started texting. I think she likes me… at least she says she does. But she never texts first, ever. So, I backed off texting for a few days and still got nothing from her. Then I went to her job (a man’s gotta eat, you know!), but did not sit in her section. The next day I decided to text her again. She replies immediately. Very cordial at first, but then she tells me. in no uncertain terms, that she felt slighted that I didn’t sit in her section. And she tells me she misses me. I’m confused now. Is it really me she misses or is it the tips? I’m not the best tipper but I ain’t bad. Lol. What’s the deal.

    • She has informed you of her feelings regarding where you sat in her restaurant. It is possible that she is interested in maintaining a social or emotional relationship with you. She may be interested in nourishing your commercial relationship. You will find benefit in speaking with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Harold!

  7. I met her has friend, now we are dating, she told me about man in her life who she is dating but never loved, but promise to Leave him, even when I ask her if she have another guy beside that guy because she is a student, she said no, anytime will met I feel she is not honest to me, I have confront her several times for her to tell me the truth if she really love me, she always reply yes she love me alot that’s why she always respond to my call anytime I wanted to see her, the truth I am confuse if she loved me the way she said it or if she love me because I am always there to help her, because not long again I saw her celebrate a guy on Facebook and her respond to the guy on each comment the guy comment is very romantic, I was thinking is it right to confront her about it or leave her because I really loved her.

    • If the two of you are currently dating, then you should have a discussion with her about what is appropriate for the future of the relationship. However, she is allowed to have friends. If you believe that she is cheating on you, then you should address the situation. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion with her. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Francis!

  8. I met this girl 2 years ago, we became friends and later became very close, some times she would come over to my place and spend the night and sometimes I would spend the night at her place.
    Later she got separated with her boyfriend and our friendship increased the more. A year later I travelled out of that state and we got separated physically but we always talk on phone.
    My problem is that for about a year now she has never picked up her phone to call me on her own, I always do the calling, sometimes we would talk for over an hour on phone, recently she started saying I should propose to her let’s start dating but am not sure of her heart because if I drop a message either on her facebook or whatsapp, it takes days and week for her to reply, and she has never on her own called me even for greeting.
    But we get along so much.

    • She has informed you of her feelings. She wants to know if there is a future in this relationship. If you inform her that you want to maintain a romantic relationship with her, then she may speak with you more often. Determine what you want for your future. Decide what you believe is viable and appropriate. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Josh!

  9. Hi There!
    I liked one girl we are friends more than 7 months now. She never start conversation with me everyday I have to start conversation. Our conversation is always good. But sometimes she responds me earlier and sometimes after one day even she is online. Last time I said her that I cooked spicy food today and now my body is burning and finally I took my shirt off to feel normal! She said why did you texted me this? She also said that it is highly irrelevant! Now tell me what that means?? Is that love ? Or just she is simply polite.

    • She informed you of her feelings regarding your statement. She likely felt that taking off your shirt was irrelevant to spicy foods, which it is. She may have thought you were attempting to tell her that you were not clothed. This may have made her feel uncomfortable. She may be uncertain about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. If you want to nourish this relationship, then spend time with her in person. Have a great day, DA!

  10. Comment: From my opinion it could be that because you have not gotten to know each other well she doesn’t know what to talk to you about and it could also be that she has her attention elsewhere but she can’t tell you.

  11. We have been friends for the past 7years, but got her number just 6 months ago and now close to each other than before. I always text her first , it can take her days and weeks to reply, and the feedback is very short, the conversation is less than 5mins despite frequent notice insisting that she should ask of me. For calls, she will not pick up at all and will never call back, but she always show mush interest anytime we are together. The reason she gave for her attitude is that she is busy with her academics.
    I really like her and don’t want to lose her, please advice.

    • She has informed you that she is busy with her academics. This will likely continue, so you should determine what you want for your future. You may be interested in developing a relationship with her, but you must respect her needs and wishes. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. If she reaches out to you, then inform her of your thoughts and feelings. For now, you may want to strengthen your relationships with other people in your life. Have a great day, Albertus!

  12. I met this girl on Facebook andbshe told me she as been single for the past 3 yrls likewise me 1 year thou she’s very young shes 20 while im 25 and we are both in different countries. I mean a very long distance relationship (USA to Nigeria). We’ve been talking for the past 3 months now and we started having great feelings for each other. She always talk to her parents about me most esp her mom but her dad doesn’t likes me due to the fact that I’m much more older than her daughter. Thou her parents her separated she only lives with her mom. I sometimes talk to her mom on phone while doing video call with her and also talk to her little sis. She talked to her mom about seeing me probably they could fly to Nigeria and visit me cos I’m too poor and I could have visited her if I have money, but now she told me some weeks ago that her mom won’t he coming to Nigeria again due to change of plans but she won’t explain more futher… She will also told me she will be going to college this summer and she doesnt want to waste my time and stuff like that.. I feel hurt and always talk to her I believe we gonna meet but she just keep saying she can’t promise anything. I dont know where this relationship would lead to, now she want us to take things slow about not getting the both parties hurt in the future. maybe She’ll meet someoen else going to college I dont know…

    • She has informed you of her decision. It is likely that her family members have influenced her actions. She has told you that she does not want to waste your time. Since that is the case, you should allow thoughts of her to fade. Allow this dream to influence you to determine what you want for your future without her. Share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Tayo!

  13. I’ve been talking to a girl for last 16 months who lives in other country. She and I talk generally for 2-5 hours almost everyday on Google hangout. Here are the things happen between us:

    – It is always me who initiates the conversation but she replies to every message of mine.

    – She occasionally me her pics and sometimes her videos upon my requests.

    – She never ask questions or bring any topic and all this done by me only.

    – She messages me first on very few instances like on my birthday or she has gone to vacation and then come back and see me online.

    – She sometimes sends me pics of her foods and drawing to me.

    Now, I have two questions as follows:

    1. Is it just a friendly relationship?

    2. What can be done that she herself come up with topics? I’m really tired of this because I feel the conversation is one sided many times and I don’t like to question a lot.

    • The two of you share a strong social connection. It is possible that she views you only as a friend. Though, it is certain that she feels close to you. She may be interested in nourishing this relationship or developing a romantic relationship. It is possible that she doesn’t know what to talk about, so ask her about her hobbies and interests. As you do this, she may be more willing to share herself and her ideas with you. Have a great day, Usher!

      • Thanks for the reply. I’ve tried that but after 6-7 messages, the conversation reaches dead position. I used memes and funny videos too but they yielded same result. I also tried to chat with occasionally rather than regular but no result. I don’t know if I’m a terrible in doing conversation or the case is different but it’s really frustrating.

  14. The girl I like never starts the convo first. I have to do everything, from saying hello to thinking of topics to keep the convo. She responds kinda slow but is getting a little bit personal. We’ve known each other for 11 years and lost connection after the 7th year. I just recently started texting her but the way she texts makes me very confused and I dont know does she like me or she is just being polite.

    • The two of you share a long history and social relationship. It is possible that she is uncertain or confused about your feelings toward her. It seems as though the two of you want to spend time together, but are uncertain about how to maintain this relationship. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Nourish this relationship by spending additional time with her in person. Have a great day, Ivan!

  15. Okay so I like this girl that I met on tinder. We have been talking for a little over a month now and have met up twice already. I think she is some what interested in due to the fact that she always response to my text and always agrees to hangout with me. The problem is that I really have no clue how she feels about me or what she wants this ‘thing’ we have going on here to be. She never texts me first, which makes me think she not interested or she doesn’t think to text me first every once in awhile. I also tested the fact for not talking to her for a week waiting for her to hit me up first and that never happened. So I gave in and texted her first and then she responds to me right away. So I’m completely clueless on how this girl feels about me. I don’t know if just sees me as a friend or if she actually wants something more out of this.

    • She responds to your messages and spends time with you in person. This means that she is interested in maintaining a relationship with you. Some people do not like to message first, while others like to take the initiative. You are aware that she does not text first, so continue your relationship with that knowledge. If you decide that you want to speak with her about your thoughts regarding her texting style, then do so. Have a great day, Chris!

  16. Okay so I like this girl that I met on tinder. We have been talking for a little over a month now and have met up twice already. I think she is some what interested in due to the fact that she always response to my text and always agrees to hangout with me. The problem is that I really have no clue how she feels about me or what she wants this ‘thing’ we have going on here to be. She never texts me first, which makes me think she not interested or she doesn’t think to text me first every once in awhile. I also tested the fact for not talking to her for a week waiting for her to hit me up first and that never happened. So I gave in and texted her first and then she responds to me right away. So I’m completely clueless on how this girl feels about me. I don’t know if just sees me as a friend or if she actually wants something more out of this.

    • She responds to your messages and spends time with you in person. This means that she is interested in maintaining a relationship with you. Some people do not like to message first, while others like to take the initiative. You are aware that she does not text first, so continue your relationship with that knowledge. If you decide that you want to speak with her about your thoughts regarding her texting style, then do so. Have a great day, Christine!

  17. So i met this girl on playstation. We been talking for 3 months and she’s single and im single. She’s from france but lives in Maryland. Its basically a long distance relationship because i live in alabama. The first month, she started texting me first and mentioned that she likes me and we tell eachother about ourselves. The second month, she was texting me first but towards the end, I’ve been texting her first. The third month, she mentioned that she love me and i told her i love her but i still have to start the conversation. She replies to the text but she didnt respond to a few of my text. It makes me feel she doesnt have intrest in me. I ask her would she date me albeit the distance. She said yes. I also asked her how would she feel if i came to see her. She said its hard to explain. Im confused because i dont know if she’s into me.

    • She has informed you of her feelings. The two of you are maintaining a long distance relationship. Additionally, there are cultural influences that may be causing your uncertainty. Determine what you want for your future at this time. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Continue to nourish this relationship as you are able to do so. Have a great day, Anon!

  18. We both know each other for 4 yrs…classmates…She rejected my love..but she never stopped talking to me…we used to talk daily…But I felt like she was ignoring me and i kept myself far from her after our graduation…and 1 year she texted me…what does that mean?..Does she asking for my attention?? Should i continue to text her??.. But I am afraid that when i get to her if it happens again of rejecting me…i can’t take for this time…so what do i do??..can you help me this??

    • She has decided to reach out to you. This means that she had thought about you and felt that it was appropriate to reach out to you. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion with her. Determine what you want for your future, and speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Nourish this relationship by spending time with her in person. Have a great day, Kalyan!

  19. So pretty much this girl I have like for a while now actually told me that she likes me and we exchanged numbers, not to mention she seems like she really likes me but sometimes doesn’t. But yeah I got home that day and we texted non-stop and then we fell asleep. Next day I wake up at 6:47 and I instantly check my phone to see if she texted, and she didn’t. I guess to early ? I don’t know if I should text her first or let her text me first, she doesn’t take long to respond either. I’m confused, please help

    • Message her when you feel that it would be appropriate to do so. Before seven in the morning is early, and you should not expect a message at that time. Nourish your relationship with her by spending additional time with her in person. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings, and ensure that she shared herself with you as well. Have a great day, Dude!

  20. She told me to not have feelings for her yet I developed. We hanged out alot but she said no once and I started no contact then she was always looking sad and sent 1 or 2 messages and when I again talked to her and said she made me piss off then she appologized but she said to not develop any feelings yet she feels jealous whenever I talk to any other girl. What do I do?

    • Her behaviors are weird. It sounds like she wants you to avoid other girls and to be interested in just her, but she is unwilling to make the same commitment and has said that you shouldn’t have feelings for her. She can’t have it both ways. Try talking to her again, explain how you feel and that she is being unfair. Then, ask her what you should do and tell her that you will respect whatever decision she makes. Best of luck, Nashaa!

  21. Ok I’m in the dark about this I’ve been talking to a woman for about 3 weeks I care a lot for this women and she tells me she cares a lot about me and likes me and I like her the chemistry and sexual chemistry is we both agree on I waited all day and night to text her and I did she responded fairly quickly I’m not trying to be so clingy we had a good texts but then she stopped texting me is this normal a good sign should keep going the same path or what I really care for this at the same time she did get out of marriage 6 months ago plz help I don’t wanna mess this up.

    • The two of you share a strong social and emotional connection. It seems as though both of you are attempting to navigate this relationship. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Nourish this relationship by spending additional time with her in person. Have a great day, Brandon!

  22. Met this girl a year ago with some friends. She’s very introvert but I started talking with her. we barely saw each other (five times in a year, always with our friends in common).
    Last month I invited her out for dinner and accepted. She complimented the food, the place I chose, and responded positively. She texted me after arriving home and thanked me. After that I invited her out again for 3 times but always had an excuse.
    At a party she went with a guy, but friends of mine told me they were just friends and nothing happened between them, and when she saw me she literally crossed the room to say hi.

    I continued texting her and she always responds, even after leaving me on seen for a day (I don’t insist in texting her back in that time). Also, we don’t reply each other on work hours. I think she’s, as you say, just old fashioned, but I want a second opinion.

    • It is clear that the two of you share a strong connection. Her behaviors are indications that she is interested in maintaining a relationship with you. Make a decision about what you want for your future. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Nourish this relationship by spending additional time with her in person. Have a great day, Charles!

  23. She goes to my college and she is a year below me, and I told her how I felt and she said that she isn’t looking for anything with anyone because of college but then again that she wouldn’t mind if we spoke and she also said she wouldn’t mind getting to know me better. We text each other every day but she has never initiated the texting, but she always sends paragraphs and emoji while texting, also once the convo starts she asks questions about me or my day or things I did. So I’m a bit confused, she seems interested but she never initiates any texts, but she did state that she wasn’t looking for anything because of college, so I don’t know where I currently stand.

    • She has informed you of her thoughts and feelings regarding maintaining a romantic relationship at this time. She is interested in being friends with you. She is aware of the benefits of sharing her kindness and compassion with you. You should ensure that you share your positive energy with her as well. Nourish this relationship, if she wants to, by spending additional time with her in person. Have a great day, Connor!

    • Allow thoughts of the concept of “friendzone” to fade. Relationships are fluid and they change as the relationship develops. You have not been friendzoned, you are her friend. She may not be interested in maintaining a romantic relationship with you, and it is perfectly acceptable for her to feel the way that she does. She may want to remain your friend and her feelings may grow overtime. Regardless of what you want for the future, you should share your kindness and compassion with her at all times. Have a great day, Connor!

  24. i texted her first asking her would she like to go out with me sometime? she said she would like tht but shes very busy. So we just talked everyday. She would always text me first. She texted me for a month till one day she just stopped. Now i started texting her first, she stil replies but i get a different vibe. do u think i would ever have a chance with her?

    • The two of you shared a social relationship. Overtime, something in her life changed. There may be another influenced in her life that is causing her to speak with you less frequently. Take another opportunity to share yourself with her, and give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. If possible, spend time with her in person. If she no longer seems interested in maintaining a relationship with you, then simply remain her friend. Have a great day, Kaydenn!

  25. So lately I’ve liked this girl, and we went to the same college together a few years before. And I was able to talk to her through a close friend of hers that because she was curious why I was messaging her friend, and after that we started to have long convos with each other, sometimes all the way through the day. And she would even often text me first which was a really good sign for me, but a few weeks later she Stopped going to school and instead was homeschooled during then, because her parents started to hear rumours about her having convos with random people online. She still went on on to talking to me later on when she was in homeschool, and I was both happy and surprised at the same time. Because I never knew she would go this far into talking to me, but then when we were talking I asked her if we could be friends and she said yes in a very dull way, and it was something that I regretted so much I
    wanted to scream out loud, because I knew that deep down she was interested in me but I was being very doubtful and it hurried me so much.

    I didn’t know what to do, because a few months weeks later she went to go to another state and I started to feel sad because of her being far apart from where I am, and also really anxious about talking to her again creating negative thoughts in my mind. So I started to take a break from all of it, and after a while I wanted to talk to her again and so I did. And she responded and we started to catch up with each other and I was really happy, but sometimes I would still feel anxious about talking her but I do tend to overcome it and talk to her, but I feel like it’s not the same as before because no she’s not talking to me like sometimes did, our convos wouldn’t go as long like before, and she sorta doesn’t respond the same way. And right now I’m lost and don’t what to do, and I keep asking myself if I should keep trying.

    • The two of you share a social relationship, and you are interested in nourishing that relationship. She made the decision to go to another state, which means you are now maintaining a long distance friendship. You are aware of the difficulties of maintaining a long distance romantic relationship, let alone a friendship. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her, but do not expect that you will begin dating at this time. Have a great day, Ben!

  26. i know thiz girl for 7 yearz now, on the firzt year zhe gave me her number and we chatted on the phone while doing thiz i azked her if zhe waz in a relationtionzhip ( dont quote me on thiz it waz awhile ago) zhe zaid zhe did, i azked her where that would leave uz zhe zaid “idk” now i waz young at the time i did not know what “idk meant zo i thought zhe meant: I Dont Care (man i waz dumb). After that i dont remember much but i think thingz grew really ackward between uz there waz no momentum zo i decided to not purzue. and zo we juzt continued az awkward ‘friendz’ about 3 &1/2 – 4 yearz would go by doing thiz until we would zpend more time together and i ztarted liking her again but i waz alzo liking other girlz….alot of em(dont do thiz) zo my feelingz where all over the place. continuing to getting lcozer to her we uze to hangout in her clazz at lunchtime (zometime) and chat about ztuff, eventually i would azk about her current relationzhip and zhe told me zhe iz confuzed becauze he would ignore her alot zo i thought i had a zhot, zo over text zhe told me zhe and him waz in an argument(i think) and zo i confort her (with wordz) i even told her ( thiz waz not the only 2 timez during the previouz yearz of chatting that he boyfriendz had cheated) i would ztep up to the plate. looking back at it i zee why zhe ziad nothing but after telling here that zhe did not rezpond zo i thought zhe did not want what i waz giving. i think zome time pazzed before we z=continued to talk. being honezt i waz not az good with the ladiez az i thought i waz, while talking zhe would drop lil hintz to me like “we could be friendz with benefitz” i did not follow up with them. then fazt forward my friend ( a dude who alzo liked here but zhe turned down, but we ztill turned out to be good friendz, alzo here friend way clozer to here than i am) would tell me zhe had zum zhe need to tell me(u know girlz zhe would bluzh,etc) then boom zhe would tell me that zhe haz a cruzh on me, i waz zhocked (kinda maybe not zo much) unfortunately the bell rang which gave me an excuze to not follow up on it at the time, but then even more time pazzed before i would follow up with it, keep in mind that zhe waz not the only girl
    i liked at the time (i waz rll conflicted) then zigh eventually i did confezz to her that i alzo liked her, zhe then got rll emotional ( cried) and zaid zhe cant zpeak to me rn. we did not talk for awhile then we graduate zadly we both needed to take evening clazzed for mathz zince we bout failed it :p zo i though we had a chance to fix everthing there but that did not happen i ended up ztanding her up for a date twice (damn wtf am i) and alzo got my feelingz mezzed up with another girl while i waz there zhe zaw thiz and became miztruzting of me zince i told her there waz nothing going on (technically there waz nothing OFFICIAL going on but iea did like the girl i think zhe did too but zhe had a dude :p) after thiz i did not go to clazzez very often zince i moztly went there to fix thingz with her and zhe would not be there alot of the time. BUT zince then i have looked back on my actionz and did not like the way i handled thingz i tried calling her to explain and apologize but i dont think i did a good job at that either rather a really bad job. but zince then i have ztarted talking to her again on fb trying my bezt to do thingz right BUT i think thiz zhip might have zailed zince am alwayz the one to ztart the converzationz, zhe doez not bring any topicz and zometime leavez me on zeen, zhe doez reply zometime really quick and zometime rll zlow am confuzed, i rll want to zee if there iz zometime beyond the horizon for uz zince up to now there haz only been miz communicationz, my lazt hope will be in a week time, zince i will be entering the zame college zhe attendz hopefully we can finally ignite the flame there if not am moving on ( zorry my future could have bin kidz) what do you think?

    BTW zorry for uzing “z” all the time my key iz broken zo i had to uze thiz.

    • The two of you share a strong history and social relationship. You have shared your thoughts and feelings with her, and it is certainly possible that her feelings are growing for you as well. The difference ways that she responds to you may be based on her schedule and desire to speak. When the two of you go to college together, it is possible that your relationship will be nourished. It is important that you always respect her desires. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. Have a great day, Junior!

  27. I know this girl from my university. She happened to be my student once.
    We dont have much age difference. I have observed her as being very reserved and having more female friends.
    I started talking to her, in the beginning she completely ignored me. She does not call me Sir, or anything.
    Then I tried couple of times more then she started responding to my texts on social media.
    Till now it has only been me texting her first and she responding to me.
    Sometimes she responds me in cold, and sometimes we may continue to talk upto 3 hours at night, which includes humorous as well as well thought out conversations.
    I sensed that she has trust issues, later after an year almost she opened up a little about her
    past relationship and breakup, and that she has severe trust issues for any man and that it will take a daunting task for her to trust any one. As per her she doesnt want any man because all are gamers. She also asked about my past and i tried to tell her that iam a genuine person and wont hurt her.
    I felt good that she shared and also heard my past. However soon after I asked for her number and she refused to give me, saying its personal to her. Even after sharing our pasts I have to text her first and she responding me. She tries to act cold with me.

    I dont know how to proceed. Please guide.

    • It seems that her behaviors are indications that she is uncertain about what she wants for the future of this relationship. She may be concerned about maintaining a relationship with you at this time. Give her an opportunity to reach out to your first. If she does, then speak with her about your thoughts and feelings at that time. Have a great day, Manos!

    • There may be various influences in her life that are preventing her from maintaining a relationship with you. She used to be your student, which may indicate an age or maturity difference. You seem to feel that she should call you ‘Sir’, so it is possible that your behaviors indicated that you wanted to be addressed by a title. She refused to give you her number and she acts cold toward you. This is what is meant by the statement in question. Have a great day, Manos!

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