When you are in a relationship, you expect that you will always be with your girlfriend. You love her and want everything to work out. Whether she broke up with you or told you that she is questioning the relationship, the result is the same. You are stuck wondering what to do to make things right. She said she doesn’t know how she feels, but you have no clue how to respond to that. Do you try to make her fall in love with you? Do you try to give her extra space? What you do next determines why she has these feelings and what she ultimately wants from the relationship.
She Said She Doesn’t Know How She Feels. What Should I Do Now?
You thought that everything was great in your relationship, but she said she doesn’t know how she feels. Now, you are left wondering what you should do now. There are four basic reasons why she might be confused about her feelings.
1. She Doesn’t Think You Can Change
Sometimes, a girlfriend or wife will realize that she is not happy with the relationship. She might have talked to you about it, but she realizes that you can’t actually change. It is completely unrealistic to expect someone to change their personality or habits completely, so she is torn. She knows that it is unfair to make you change too much, but she is not happy with the way things are. This leads to confused feelings where she just does not know how she feels or what she wants next.
If this is the case, you have to understand why she is unhappy and make changes. Do this before you talk to her again so that she sees that the changes are real and are not just a promise. If this does not work, then you can assume that the real reason is something else on this list or she has just given up.
2. Her Attraction Has Changed
At the initial stage of a relationship, the newness is infatuating. Over time, it is easy to take someone for granted. The problem might be due to attraction or intimacy. She might want you to spice things up and bring some romance into the relationship. She is confused because she loves you as a partner and a friend, but she needs that romance to really feel in love with you. The good news is that this is an easy step to fix. Plan a romantic weekend, buy her some lingerie and make her feel like she is the most attractive woman in the world.
3. She Wants to Be Single
She might not have found someone new, but she might want to play the field. She may feel like the relationship is in a rut, or she may feel like she is taken for granted. She could realize that you are not the right person for her. It also might be as simple as she does not want to be committed for a lifetime yet, so she wants to date around first. If the relationship has just become too routine, you can fix it. If the problem is that she realizes she isn’t ready for any commitment, then give her space and come back in a couple of years. If she realizes that she isn’t ready for a commitment, there is nothing you can do to force her to commit and you are better off waiting for her to grow as a person as she experiences the world.
4. She Doesn’t Like Who She Is
Did you ever notice how an old couple looks and acts the same? It’s because we pick up the lifestyle and habits of the people we are closest to. This is often a good thing, but we can also pick up bad habits. She might be unhappy in the relationship because she doesn’t like who she is. She may be putting off her goals or favorite hobbies to spend time with you.
If this is the case, talk to her. Show that you support her in her goals. If she is unhappy because she has stopped working out or doing a favorite hobby to spend time with you and do your hobbies, offer to go along with her. Whether she wants to go hiking or wants to hit the gym, it is a chance for you to grow closer in your relationship.
What Should I Do Now?
Let’s start with what not to do. Don’t be clingy or needy. Don’t try to force her to know how she feels when she obviously doesn’t. Be honest and understanding as you listen to how she feels. If she wants space, give her space. If she wants more romance, give her that. Arguing or trying to convince her through words that the relationship is worth it will not work—and even if it does temporarily, it won’t forever. You have to show her by your actions that the relationship is worth it and that you can change. Don’t try to guilt trip her or seem desperate. Throughout the entire process, make sure that you listen closely to her and then immediately work on the things that need fixing.