The thing about the dating game is that at the start it’s all about trying to interpret little signs and hints. And for the most part, people express their attraction for someone differently. Some who are more confident and outgoing tend to go for the direct route of simply asking you out. But not everyone is blessed with such confidence.
Others try to drop hints in the hope that you’ll get the message (and it’s likely that you hardly ever do). And then there are some who prefer to just wait like a wallflower and hope to high heavens that you somehow magically like them back. Yep, this whole dating game is like a game of charades where everyone’s blindfolded and no one’s keeping score.
Now it all adds an even thicker layer of complication when you want to know if a shy guy is into you.
Common Traits of a Shy Guy
Ever since Cosmopolitan magazine started giving love advice, most of us women have had the notion that it should be the guys who should approach us first. Back in the day, this would have been the social norm. But these days, women can get pretty impatient, especially if they’re about 80% sure that the guy who likes them is a particularly shy one.
Since we’re talking about signs exhibited by shy guys who might like you, we need to keep in mind some of the traits of a shy guy. For starters, shy guys tend not to speak up often. They can be attentive listeners, but they usually prefer to be listeners instead of speakers. This applies for both professional and personal relationships.
Shy guys tend to be quite polite. This is usually because they would much rather give way and cause zero inconvenience instead of having to approach you to apologize for something.
Lastly, most shy guys keep minimal company. They won’t be the life of the party, but will instead keep the company of a few close friends whom they can freely talk to.
With those traits in mind, how CAN you tell if a shy guy is into you?
1. He often glances at you.
You might notice this when you’re in the same circle of friends. He might not directly approach you or even talk to you. But every once in a while, you’ll catch him glancing your way. And when you do, his initial response would usually be to look away awkwardly because he got caught. It’s actually a common trop in romantic comedies when guys (shy or not) like a girl.
2. He doesn’t want to sit next to you.
When a shy guy likes someone, they usually prefer to keep a safe distance. This doubles down even more if the guy is both shy and deemed socially awkward. This is not because he’s repulsed by your presence. On the contrary, he actually likes your presence but just doesn’t trust himself enough to do and say the right things when you’re around.
3. He will give you the slightest smile.
A confident guy who isn’t shy about expressing his attraction for you will give you a bright, beaming smile from across the room. But when it’s a shy guy that likes you, he’ll probably just give you a slight smile before he looks away.
4. He can’t look you in the eye.
Looking someone in the eye is akin to trying to get their attention. With shy guys, they kind of want your attention, but they might be a little too shy to handle it. So he’s torn between wanting you to look his way and wanting you not to look at him as he fumbles for the right thing to say to you. So instead, to skip all the awkwardness, he’d prefer to look elsewhere and steal glances at you instead.
5. He stumbles across words when you talk to him.
Perhaps you’re the friendlier one who isn’t at all hesitant to strike up a conversation. When you talk to him, he might suddenly lose his tongue as he struggles to find the right thing to say that might impress you. Just keep in mind to take it easy on the guy. After all, he’s really into you and having the person he likes suddenly talking to him might make his heart rate spike up!
6. He blushes.
It’s so adorable when a guy blushes! Do you notice him trying to hide his face whenever you give him a smile? Do you notice him suddenly turning red when you say something directly to him? Maybe, even in his attempt to hide, you’ll notice his ears getting pink. That’s a pretty good clue that he likes you!
7. He adds you on social media and nothing more.
There are two ways for you to become connected on social media. The first instance is when you add him on social media. You can just imagine his joy if you’re the first one to “make a move” online. If that’s the case, he could take this as an invitation to talk to you a little more freely online. Unlike real-live conversations, chat conversations take off a lot of pressure. This allows people to double check exactly what they want to say before sending it out. This would be typical of a shy guy who wants to eliminate all possibilities of a social faux pas.
The other scenario is when he musters up the courage to add you. Usually, to avoid suspicion, a guy would do this by adding you and a bunch of your friends at the same time. This would lead you to believe that he’s just adding all of you. But you might notice a few slight interactions online that only you receive. This includes likes and “hearts” on your posts. In his own way, he’s reaching out to you in the hope that you’d also reach out to him and maybe strike up a conversation.
8. He doesn’t want online conversations to end.
If you play your cards right and get a shy guy to loosen up and relax, you might find that he’s actually pretty eager to talk to you. You’ll notice him opening up a new topic of conversation when he notices that the previous topic has run its course. This is his way of saying that he’d like to talk to you more so he can get to know you. And perhaps this could also be his way of trying to impress you with interesting topics that he thinks you’d enjoy talking about.
9. He shares a part of himself with you.
The thing with both shy guys and introverts is that they usually don’t open up easily. Extroverts tend to be willing to divulge details of their life to anyone they feel a connection with. But with a shy guy, that connection has to be pretty intense to get him to open up. If you notice that a guy is sharing his hopes, his dreams, his secrets, and his oddities with you, then you know that in his eyes you are special.
10. He treats you a little differently.
When a person is into you, you’ll notice that they’ll treat you differently from other people. With a shy guy, this can be a lot easier to spot. With shy guys, they usually don’t go out of their way to do something for people. That’s just how they are. But when they like someone, you’ll notice them doing little things that they wouldn’t otherwise do for someone who’s just a friend. This includes grabbing you a drink, pulling out your seat, or opening the door for you.
11. He gets visibly uncomfortable when you talk about other guys.
Put yourself in his shoes. What if the person you like is totally into another girl? Wouldn’t that bother you a lot? And even if you try your best to act casual and pretend that it doesn’t matter, you know that your facial expression and your body language would change into that of annoyance. It’s the same for any guy!
12. His friends tease you.
Remember how we said that it takes a really special person to get a shy guy to open up? When he opens up to his friends about you, then you know that he sees you as more than just a friend. You might notice his friends goading him to sit next to you or suddenly teasing you that you’d make a great couple. The only logical conclusion to get from this is that Mr. Shy Guy has told his friends about his crush, and they can’t help but hope that their teasing will move your potential relationship forward.
13. He pays attention to what you say.
Even if you mention something in passing, a shy guy who likes you will hold on to that information until he needs it. And you might be surprised to see that he’ll suddenly bring it up knowing that it means something to you.
14. When you’re close enough, he’ll attempt to make you laugh.
There’s nothing like humor to strengthen the bond between two people. So even if he’s a shy guy who doesn’t want to risk being socially awkward, he’ll try to joke around with you in the hope that he can make you laugh.
15. He won’t hesitate to do weird or inconvenient things with you.
If a guy really, really likes you, he’ll do whatever it takes to be around you. That includes going with you on weird errands or indulging your desire to attend amphibian care classes. A shy guy who likes you would be thrilled at the prospect of you asking for his company, so he’ll weigh that as a huge pro despite the risks!
16. He will put himself on the line for you.
When a guy is really into you, he won’t tolerate anyone mistreating the person he likes. So if for example someone’s bullying you or harassing you in some way, the shy guy who likes you might suddenly transform into the Hulk to defend you and make sure you’re okay.
17. He wants to make sure you’re safe.
He will be concerned about your safety even if you don’t notice it at first. When the time comes when you’re close enough to be casual around each other, a shy guy might offer you simple comforts to make sure you’re okay. This could include waiting at the bus stop with you, offering to accompany you home, or even simply asking if you made it home okay.
18. He tries his best to be friends with your friends.
Even if he is normally very aloof and quiet, he’ll try to be as friendly as he can be with someone he knows is important to you. After all, a great way to really get to know someone is to get to know their friends.
19. He’ll give you weird mixed signals.
One minute he’s smiling and laughing with you, and the next he can barely say two words to you. What gives? Well, with most introverts, they need a bit of time to recharge after socializing. And since he has an emotional investment in you, keeping up with someone who’s more sociable than he is can be exhausting. But don’t worry because after he recovers, he’ll bounce right back to being his usual self around you.
20. He can’t seem to form the words to ask you out.
Trust us when we say that when a guy likes you, he would love to ask you out. But with a shy guy, this could take a while because he wants to say the right thing to you. So for this, we just advise you to give it some time until he finally musters up the courage. Or, if you’re more of a go-getter than he is, just ask him out!
When it comes to confusing hints, shy guys have us all beat! But with the tips we mentioned above about what might actually be going on in his mind, you can finally deduce whether a shy guy is into you!