After you break up, it can take weeks or months to get used to the change. You are used to being an “us,” so being an “I” again can be disconcerting and stressful. Whether you were the one who initiated the break up or not, you may find yourself wishing that you were together again. The only problem is that you are not sure if your ex wants you back. You don’t want to make a move and be rejected. You certainly do not want to become the crazy ex who calls him up at 2 A.M. to drunkenly cry into his voicemail. If you are thinking that the break up was a mistake, then these are the signs your ex wants you back, but won’t admit it. He may be uncertain about resuming the relationship, or he may be afraid that you will reject him. Whatever the case, he may be finding it hard to admit that he wants you back.
1. He Is Jealous
You are at a party or just running errands. You never realized that your ex was there until you turned around and saw him. Across the room, his face is turning red and he has an unreadable expression on his face. Suddenly, you realize that he was jealous of the guy that you were talking to. While he might just still think of you as his girlfriend, it is also possible that he is jealous because he wants you back.
2. He Does the Things You Dreamed About
If he already talked to you about getting back together and you turned him down, then he might try to make changes in his life. Were you annoyed that he never had any dreams or goals? If so, then he might suddenly start applying for a new job. If you had a dream of skydiving, he might jump out of a plane just so that you think that he is boyfriend material again.
3. He Is Still Angry
Someone would not remain angry with you unless they still care. Of course, it is also possible that you just really screwed up with him and he isn’t going to forget about it quickly. If he is still leaving angry text messages and phone calls, there is a chance that he is still hurt and has not gotten over you yet.
4. He Checks Up on You
You broke up forever ago, so you expected him to stay completely out of your life. For weeks or months, he did not call or text you. Suddenly, he sends you a text asking how you are doing. While he might just be trying to resume a basic friendship, it is more likely that he still cares. His logical mind may be trying to tell him that it is over, but his heart will not let him stay away from you for good. Depending on how you respond, you might be able to get the relationship going again.
5. He Is Changing for the Better
If you told him a number of reasons why he is not right for you, he might try to change those things. He may completely makeover his look so that he fits your idea of the perfect boyfriend. He is trying to show you that you can change so that you will consider getting back together with him.
6. He Drunk Dials You
When you have been drinking, your inhibitions are lowered. Normally, what you say when you are drunk is based on the truth. It might be overblown, or it might be a bad idea, but you generally say something fairly close to what you mean. If your ex-boyfriend is drunk dialing to tell you how he screwed everything up and still loves you, then that is probably the truth. When he is sober, his mind may change because he logically realizes that the relationship is not right for him. When he is drunk, his true feelings come out.
7. He Seemed to Move on Extremely Fast
After dating for months, you expected it to take more than a couple of days for him to move on. If he is already dating someone else, then she might be his rebound relationship. Some people handle the pain of a break up by immediately get into another relationship. Unfortunately, his momentary decision could end up lasting if the girlfriend turns out to be a good fit. For the moment though, you can be fairly certain that he has not really moved on yet.
8. He Is Depressed
When people are depressed, they are less likely to take care of their looks. If you see your ex and he has not shaved or showered for a while, then he is probably depressed by the break up. He has let himself go because he has realized the significance of his mistake.
9. He Talks About the Reason for the Break Up
This is one of the clear signs your ex wants you back, but won’t admit it. No one in their right mind would ever talk about the problems that caused a break up. They would be afraid of an angry confrontation or of reminding you of the past. The only possible reason why someone would bring up all of the reasons why you broke up is because he wants to find a solution. He is hoping that he will find a way to work things out so that you two can be together again.
10. He Keeps in Touch With Your Family
While he might just like hanging out with your brother or dad, it is also possible that he is trying to stay in your life. If he stays in touch with your family and friends, he might be trying to make excuses to be around you and to get a second chance some day.
11. He Disappears
If he is having a problem moving on, then he probably does not want anyone to see it. He especially does not want to admit to you that, while you seemed to move on fine, he has not moved on at all. Because of that, he has disappeared from your social circle and from Facebook. He does not want anyone to realize how much he is hurting right now.
12. He Is Secretive About His Dating Life
If he did not care about you (or, at least, if he wants to seem like he does not care), he would broadcast that he is dating again and has a new girlfriend. If he is still secretly hoping that you will get back together, he does not want you to know that he is in a relationship. He will hide his love life so that you think that he is still a possibility.
13. He Overcompensates
If he wants you back, but won’t admit it, he will do his best to hide how he feels. On social media, he will show pictures of himself drinking, laughing and going out with friends. There may be a number of pictures of him with pretty girls because he wants to show the world that he has moved on. Unfortunately, he overdoes it so that it looks like he is just overcompensating.
14. You See Him in Strange Places
If he is still fixated on you, he might deliberately show up in places where he knows you will be. He could even ask his friends to spy on you to find out how you are doing and if you have moved on or not.