We all have ex boyfriends and girlfriends, some we wish to never see again, but then there are others we hope we run into on the street. But relationships, especially break ups, aren’t as easy as they look. Sometimes we say things we didn’t mean and things that we regret but when pride gets mixed in with emotions, it’s not so easy to get back to the place where you started. Instead, you harbour the feelings and emotions, the things you really wanted to say and do, but you don’t do. Listen, life is too short for you to sit back and watch someone you love walk away. Whether they make the first move or you do, it needs to be done. Now, you may be wondering, well, does my ex even want me back. That’s a good question and you won’t have the answer to it unless you ask. But if you want to have some emotional security, why don’t you look at the signs they’re giving off.
- You feel it
You can tell when someone is missing you, especially if you’ve been dating them for a while. You can feel it when they’re missing you. Don’t knock your intuition, it’s usually right. If you feel that they’re missing you, then you’re probably right. I mean, you know them better than I do. Men tend to show the signs of missing their ex girlfriends after a couple of months, whereas women tend to show those signs right away.
- You and your ex are still in contact
Unless you guys have a child together or a dog, there’s really no reason to maintain communication with your ex. Come on, if you really wanted to move on you would have cut contact by now. At least, you would have stopped talking for a while right after the break up. Are you two talking every day? Every night before you go to bed? You should know better than that. If you two were really over each other, you would have cut those habits out immediately. But that’s the funny thing about relationships. If you both are not ready to walk away from the relationship, you won’t. If you’re still maintaining a relationship and keeping your habits and routines the same, then you both are not ready to end what you two have. But if your ex is still the number one person you’re communicating to, then maybe there’s something to salvage in your relationship. Maybe your ex isn’t as over you as they’re claiming. Because if they were, they wouldn’t be investing any more time than they absolutely have to in talking to you.
- Eye spy
You think your ex doesn’t know what’s been happening in your life since you two have broken up? Think again. If you two have mutual friends and if you are both still connected to each other’s social networks, well, they know everything. Maybe they asked you for coffee to “catch up” but do know that they’re already all caught up on your life’s events. Low-key stalking is about them trying to see what you’re doing in your life and if there’s someone new they should worry about.
- They only speak good about you
Maybe you two have mutual friends and you heard your ex went out to dinner with them. Now, usually, if your ex is over you, they’ll say that you two couldn’t work things out and maybe add some complaints about you. But if they want you back, they know how to play the game. They’re not going to talk bad behind your back about you. If they want you back, they’ll only talk good things about you and that they miss you. They know what’s going to happen if they do this. The word is going to spread and eventually, it’ll end up to you. That’s when you’re given the choice whether or not you’re going to answer their call.
- They’re not rushing to get their things from you
If you two lived together, it’s only natural that your ex is going to have some things at your place. If they really wanted to get their things from you, they would do it or even get their friends to pick it up. Point being, if someone wants to be out of your life, they’ll do whatever they can do make themselves disappear. So, if they’re dragging their feet to come and pick up their things, they’re giving you some time to cool down and try to talk to you about the break up. That, or they really don’t care about their things. But honestly, it’s the first option.
- They show up where you are
Is this a coincidence? I don’t think so. If you two were together for a solid chunk of time, your ex knows your daily routine. They know where you love to eat, what you do on a Friday night and where you work out. Mix in social media, and they have a 24/7 surveillance on you. So, if they’re showing up at all your favorite places, don’t think it’s from chance. They were hoping to run into you so that they’d be able to talk to you.
- They call for no actual reason
Listen, there are only a couple reasons why an ex would call you. They could be calling you because they wanted to tell you that they’re seeing someone – it’s weird but people do this. This is usually because they want to make you jealous, by making you jealous, it shows them that you’re still into them. They could be calling for your opinion or advice on a personal issue – especially if you two are still friends. They’re calling you because they want their personal belongings back – this is them wanting a clean break from you. Finally, they could be calling for no reason. When they call you, they’re asking you questions where aren’t really important but rather they just want to talk to you. This is usually a pretty good sign that they miss you and want you back.
- They ask if you’re dating anyone
Ah yes, the low-key “are you seeing anyone” question. They wouldn’t be asking if they didn’t care. Of course, they want to know if you’re single or not. They don’t want you with someone else, they want you to themselves. So, if you’re ex is snooping around and asking your friends if you’re seeing someone, it’s because they’re interested in you. Now, this could also be because they want to develop a mature and friendly relationship with you, however, if they’re constantly calling you and showing other signs in combination with this one, they’re not asking because they want to be friends.
- You’re still sleeping with each other
Now, I’ve heard many couples who have broken up but still sleep with each other. If you’re not into your ex anymore but still having sex with them, you need to cut that out. You don’t know how they feel about you and honestly, it’s not a mature move. Allow yourself to move on and leave them alone. If you’re still sleeping together, well, obviously someone still has feelings. If it’s not you, it’s them. Sure, you’re probably thinking to yourself that it’s cool because you two don’t have feelings for each other anymore, but if that was the case, then why are you sleeping together? Sexual intimacy is a huge indicator that there are still feelings involved between you two.
- They’re touchy
They don’t know how to not be with you. And when they’re around you, they’re still acting like you two are together. Now, if they didn’t want you, they would be distant and somewhat awkward. Instead, they’re hugging you tightly, grazing your arm or moving your hair away from your face. These are all intimate moments that they’re sharing with you. You have to remember, if your ex isn’t into you, you couldn’t pay them to touch you. But if they’re still into you, you’ll see them take every chance to touch you.
- They bring up the break up
No one would bring up the conversation of what happened when you broke up unless you wanted to fix things. Why bring up a conversation that has a 90% chance of ending with a fight? Exactly. If you want to repair the situation, that’s when you bring up the conversation of what happened. Maybe they want to apologise for what happened or tell you that they’re willing to change, but the point is, they’re wanting to make it work.
- They tell you they miss you
If they tell you what they’re feeling, it’s true. It takes a lot of courage for someone to admit their feelings to someone without knowing if the other person feels the same or not. So, if they’re telling you how they feel, they’re not doing this for their ego. They’re doing this because they want to know if you feel the same way for them. This is obviously the biggest sign you could ask for. If you want your ex back and they’re telling you how much they miss you and the relationship you two had, well, this is your chance to fix things.
- They’ll have bursts of anger
If you’re content with being single, then you have no negative feelings about the matter. But, if you’re on the other side of that coin, it’s a pretty tragic situation. Wanting to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you is a horrible feeling. Maybe your ex is watching you getting hit on by other people and of course, it pisses them off. If your ex blows up and goes into a complete rage, well, then it’s obvious that they’re not over you, not at all. In that case, probably inviting them to your engagement party isn’t the smartest idea.
- A lack of signs
If someone is moving on, they’d do so. But, sometimes the lack of signs that they show actually explain that they want you back. Some people go social media crazy by posting millions of photos, showing that they’ve “moved on”. While others so completely silent. Maybe they’ll post a song or like a poetic quote on instagram – which you may overlook, but you shouldn’t. Instead, that can actually show you what they’re thinking about. Sometimes if you look too closely at the signs, you’ll miss the ones that slip by you. Maybe it’s a song that you two would listen to, or they’ll check-in to a place where you both would go all the time. See, those small details.
- The drunk episodes
Oh yes, the infamous drunken phone call. Getting a drunk call from your ex is usually a sign that they miss you. You’ll hear them slurring on the phone, telling you that they love you and that you’re the only one for them. Without the alcohol, they wouldn’t have ever picked up the phone, but now, they’re feeling courageous. A sober man’s thoughts are a drunk man’s words – which is completely true. Whatever they say when they’re drunk, listen carefully because in those slurred words is how they actually feel about you.
Relationships aren’t easy, especially when you’re trying to get your ex back. There’s a lot that makes a relationship and there are many times that when it ends, you realize that you made a huge mistake. But, sometimes, if you play your cards right, you’ll be given a second chance. If you’re not sure if your ex wants you back, just see if they’re showing any of these signs. Now, to be safe, you’ll want to make sure they’re showing a couple of these signs. If so, then there’s a good chance that they’re trying to see if they can get you back. Now, the other question is do you want them back?