Sometimes you face insecurities about your relationship and want to read about what to expect from a man who still loves you to stop yourself from worrying. Other times you need to realize something is wrong so you can do something about it.
Below you will find twenty signs that your husband still loves you. Beware though, that all men are different. If your husband is not the type to display affection in public, it’s not a sign that he doesn’t love you – it’s simply the way he is. Likewise, if your husband is going through a lot of stress, he might withdraw from you, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. The best way to find out if a man loves you is to have an open dialogue about it and doing things to show you love him, as that opens up a channel of affection. If you’re constantly nagging him, putting him down, etc. his natural response will be to do the same, or in other ways detach himself. If you want compliments, give them. If you want kisses, give them. If you want love, give it.
1. Physical Contact
Most men who are in love tend to show it through physical means, be it holding your hand when out walking, hugging you, or making love to you. Of course, in long relationships physical attraction has its highs and lows though – most people feel diminished physical attraction during periods of stress, for example.
In long term relationships people also get lazy at times, so if you notice that the physical attraction isn’t there as much as it used to be (and it’s not because you’re husband is going through a troubling time at work, or personally), try to steam up the heat again. Look for ways to re-ignite the passion, as well as time to be apart so you have a chance to miss each other!
If your husband is a gift giver, then it will be one of his natural ways of expressing his love for you. If he buys you flowers ever so often, surprises you with a box of chocolates, or simply buys well thought out gifts for your birthday and other occasions, it shows he cares.
3. The Perfect Gentleman
Opening doors, carrying bags and doing anything else where he can display his manly strength…all that shows that your husband wants to take care of you, because he cares about you.
4. Looking After You
Do you find a glass of red wine, or a cup of tea waiting for you after a long day? Does he buy you chocolate when you have your period, or make you breakfast in bed? Does he cook meals or order take-aways he knows you love? All those little things shows he loves you and wants to look after you.
5. He Wants to Make Money
This might sound counterintuitive – he’s spending his days and nights working and therefore seeing less of you – but most men feel they need to provide for their home. It’s their way of showing they love you. Unless your husband has become detached in other ways, him spending more time working isn’t necessarily a sign he doesn’t care. Men want to prove themselves to women and many try to do it by being great professionally.
6. He Agrees to Compromise
If your husband didn’t love you, he would not agree to spend Christmas at your Aunt Agatha’s place which is filled with dogs, cats and fleas. Seriously. Nor would he run around the mall with you to try to find the perfect dress for your friend’s wedding, or patiently wait for you as you’re fifteen minutes late again getting ready for going out.
7. He Shows Patience
Men who love tend to be a lot more patient. They’re willing to be patient because they care. As mentioned with the above example of being late, men in love usually show a lot of patience where you’re concerned.
8. He Spends Time With You
A man in love is a man who wants to spend time with you. That doesn’t mean he’ll sacrifice his gym membership, or friends, for you (that wouldn’t be healthy!), but he will ensure that you fit into his busy schedule.
9. He Creates Romantic Moments
Whether he asks you for a walk along the beach, or lights candles, he ensures you get romantic moments together.
10. He Still Arranges Dates
Sure, you might not have as much time as you once did for dating (especially if you have kids!), but if your husband still takes you on dates whenever time allows it’s a sign he loves you.
11. He Compliments You (Words of Affirmation)
Whether he tells you your dress is stunning, or that he loves you he uses words that affirms he cares for you and adores you. In other words, his words proves his love to you.
12. He Shares His Thoughts with You
A less obvious way for someone to show their love is by sharing what their thoughts and feelings are about life in general. Most of us only share those thoughts and feelings with people who we love. If your husband comes home and tells you about his day at work, it’s a way of showing he cares enough about you to share his life with you.
13. He Ask for Your Opinion
Unless your husband is someone who asks for everyone’s opinion, by asking for yours he shows he values it. While we can value people’s opinions for different reasons, your husband’s reason for valuing yours is likely that he loves you (and he loves you because he sees many great things in you and therefore trusts your judgement).
14. He Makes Plans with You
A man in love is a man who wants to spend time with you, as mentioned, and a man who loves you also includes you in plans for a fun weekend, a nice vacation, some fun Christmas prep., or just about anything else in his life where he can include you (excluding, of course, areas where he needs to be alone, or with his friends/family). When he gets excited about going Christmas shopping (do men ever get excited about this?) or having a long weekend, he includes you in the plans because he wants to share the joy with you.
Also, if he loves you, he includes you in plans that stretch far into the future.
15. He Asks Questions About Your Life
If your husband cares, he wants to find out about what you’re thinking and feeling at the moment. He doesn’t just ask in passing about your day, but rather is truly curious to find out what’s going on for you.
16. He Wants to Help
He wants to offer his advice and his services (acts of kindness and doing things around the house, or fixing your car) to make your life better.
17. He Flirts with You
Maybe he doesn’t flirt with you as much as when you first met (in that case neither of you would probably ever get any work done), but he makes an effort to flirt with you, be it send you flirtatious messages, or have flirtatious conversations on your date night.
18. He Keeps His Eyes to Himself
Most men are habitual starers. They stare at women. In all likelihood, your husband will stare at attractive women till time immortal. However, if he makes a genuine effort not to when around you, it shows he cares about your feelings. Unless, of course, you’ve both agreed that staring at attractive people is a healthy thing to do and a natural biological reaction and laugh about it together.
19. He Makes an Effort for Your Friends and Family
He might not be crazy about Uncle Bill, but he stills sees him. For your sake. And he tries not to put down Uncle Fred too much when he goes off on a rant that’s anything but pleasant.
20. He Shows Off
He comes home brimming with happiness because he got a raise, or he dresses up for your date night, or flexes his muscles in front of your face. He wants praise. From you. Because he loves you.
21. He Checks You Out
A sure sign your husband is still into you is if he checks you out when you wear something sexy! (By the way: It’s particularly useful to wear something sexy in a crowd when he knows he can’t just sweep you away and take you home right away… It will make him remember falling in love with you!)
22. Bonus Tip
To establish a relationship where you feel loved, it’s important you make your husband feel loved too, or chances are he will withdraw from you. Also, you need to make sure you love yourself, or you will turn any relationship you have into a toxic one. You will act in ways that, eventually, makes your husband stop loving you because of how you act. If you can’t love yourself, you won’t allow anyone else to love you either. See the book list below for tips on how to love yourself!
As for your husband, have fun with him. Praise him. Show you respect him. Reward him with hugs, kisses and compliments when he does something you appreciate. Avoid nagging, begging, bitching, etc.
Read the following books to figure out more about love:
The Mastery of Love – Don Miguel Ruiz
The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love – Dr. Sue Johnson
Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationships by Letting Yourself Be Loved – Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt