Home Love & Relationship Signs Your Wife Hates You and What Should You Do

Signs Your Wife Hates You and What Should You Do


You wake up from a terrible dream where your wife asks you for a divorce. When you roll over, you realize that your dream was not entirely untrue. Judging by the way that she has been acting lately, you are starting to think that your wife hates you. You have been noticing constant signs your wife hates you, and you are not sure what to do about it.

what does it mean when your wife says she hates you

There are many reasons why you might notice signs your wife hates you. She could be distant because she is stressed out at work or worrying about the children’s performance in school. Her distance or dislike of intimate contact could be due to an infidelity, or she may just be getting bored with the relationship. It is possible she hates you, but it is also possible that she fell out of love. There are many different things that these signs could mean, but we will cover some of the most common indicators that your wife may be starting to hate you.

Signs Your Wife Hates You

If this type of worry is keeping you awake at night, you need to do something about it. Read through these signs your wife hates you and see if she does these signs. Even if you are pretty certain that she is no longer in love with you, there are still options like counseling or romantic getaways that can get her to fall in love with you. If you are absolutely certain that nothing will change her mind though, your only option may be to discuss the option of separating or getting a divorce.

1. She No Longer Supports You

When you are going through a difficult time at work, your wife is supposed to be the one person that you can rely on. Whether you just need someone to cheer you up or need to talk about your problems, your wife is supposed to be the person that can listen to you. At some point, you have most likely encountered a difficult situation in your life. If your wife stops listening when you are upset or angry, then there might be a problem.

Perhaps you tried to talk to her. Instead of listening, she may have ignored you, told you not to worry or laughed it off. Now, you have to decide why she responded that way. If she just did not realize the seriousness of the issue, her response might not mean anything. If she is well aware that you are extremely concerned, then her response is a sign that she does not care. If she hates you and is no longer interested in the relationship, then she will stop caring about all of the little details like supporting you or cheering you up when you are down.

2. She Stops Spending Time With You

To keep your relationship going strong, you need to spend time with each other. Even if you can only Skype while you are away, that time helps to create a bond between you two. Of course, there might be reasons why your wife is suddenly unavailable. She might have a major project at work or an important test coming up. If there is a logical reason why she is too busy or tired, then don’t assume the worst.

On the other hand, you should probably be worried if she deliberately tries to avoid you. For example, if she suddenly rearranged her schedule to be busy on your days off, then you might want to be worried. If it seems like she deliberately looks for ways to avoid you, then something is going on. She could be cheating on you, but she also might be wary of spending time with you. If she is no longer in love, she may be afraid that she cannot keep up the charade if she is alone with you for long. If this is the case, the only time you will spend with her is when you are in public or around a group of friends.

my wife hates me but i love her

3. She Stops Talking to You

Your spouse is supposed to be the person that you share your life with. Initially, you probably shared everything with each other and spent hours just talking. Over the years, you have run out of things to share. You develop that comfortable silence that exists when two people are extremely comfortable around each other. That comfortable silence is not the problem. Your biggest problem is if she stops talking to you at all.

Do you feel like you are just a roommate instead of her husband? When you share a story, does she just nod instead of asking questions or listening? When you ask her how her day went, does she respond with a one-word answer?

All of these things are potential signs that she no longer wants to talk or associate with you. If she no longer shares her personal life or asks about how your day went, it might be a sign of a problem. This is especially true if she does things to avoid any type of conversation. For example, if you normally talk over dinner, you might discover that she has been cooking for herself and eating before you return home. If you always talk before bedtime, she might say that she is too tired or already be asleep when you go to bed.

To see if this is the actual problem, you have to determine if it is an ongoing issue. If she is just too tired to talk for one night, then she is probably telling the truth. If she has been busy or stressed at work, then she might have a reason to be a little silent. If the problem is ongoing and you can’t find a legitimate reason for it, then she might be falling out of love.

4. She No Longer Pays Attention to You

You arrive home late from work, and she didn’t notice. When you reserved a special anniversary dinner, she completely forgot about it. While there can be other reasons for this behavior, it is a worrisome sign. People remember things that matter to them. As humans, we all forget an important event from time to time. If she forgets everything that you say or do, then there might be a problem. This is especially true if she used to care a lot about anniversaries and birthdays. If she used to remember everything and pay a lot of attention to you, then the sudden change is especially important. She might be trying to hurt you, or she may be ignoring you to see if you notice. She might also be falling out of love with you.

5. She Stops Trying to Impress You

There are obvious reasons why she might spend less time on her hair and makeup. Once you are married, you develop a comfort level with your spouse. You feel like you can be yourself with each other and just relax. If this is why she stopped dressing up, it might not be anything to worry about. Buy her some lingerie or treat her to a shopping trip so that she has a reason to dress up. Don’t—whatever you do—tell her that you noticed that she isn’t maintaining her appearance. This will only make her upset. A better option is to buy her something pretty to wear because she’ll naturally want to dress up and wear it. Plus, you’ll get brownie points for getting her a pretty present.

On the other hand, not caring about her appearance could be a sign that she is mentally checked out of the relationship. If she dresses up for everyone other than you and no longer cares about details like picking up your favorite foods on her way home from work, you might want to see if there are other potential signs your wife hates you.

6. She Stopped Being Affectionate

This is one of the biggest signs that your relationship is in trouble. In research studies, human touch has been shown to create an emotional bond, increase intimacy and boost relaxation. If she stops touching you or being intimate, then you have every right to be worried. Obviously, you have to also consider if she is acting out of the norm. If she hates public displays of affection, then a lack of public affection probably isn’t a problem. If she used to love cuddling you during movies and stopped, then you should probably be worried.

wife hates me but won't divorce

What Should You Do If Your Wife Hates You?

Even if your wife has been falling out of love recently, she does not necessarily hate you. Some of the passion of an early romance dies down over time. In some cases, all you need to do is plan a romantic getaway or take her out on a date like you did when you first got together. At the very least, you should try to calmly, honestly talk to her about your feelings. If you are unable to express how you feel alone or she does not listen, suggest marital counseling.

If she refuses to change or go to counseling, then you might have a problem. At some point, you may have to discuss the possibility of separating. If she is still committed to the relationship, there are ways that you can work together to improve your bond. If she has already mentally checked out, then your only option might be to move on.


  1. My wife and I met 50 yrs ago….we went to live together with my two kids from a former marriage….she never wanted to sleep with me… .they left at 16…she has many health issues…I supported her..she made a good career for herself as a Head…I gave up a developing career as a musician. The health never affected her job…
    No sex…no sex…all this time..
    She now says she only wanted me as I had two kids who would with me make a nuce little family unut.
    Foolishly I always had hope..as she kept me hanging..
    There is at 82..no life..though I am relatively healthy with no booze, smoking nor drugs.

    • This sounds like something that would need some time to talk out and work out–could you ask your wife about seeing a counselor together to talk things through? I find it hard to imagine that there couldn’t be some affection on her part. Even if she just saw you as a good family unit, as you say, 50 years of time together is still a lot of time developing a friendship and affection. It seems unlikely that she could go that long without developing any feelings, especially without you figuring it out. Perhaps she is just have a belated mid-life crisis or something similar–whatever the reason though, you should definitely see about getting a counselor, therapist, pastor or someone you trust to help you two talk through this situation. Good luck!


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