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50 Smart Ass Quotes

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Looking for the perfect quote to describe your smart ass attitude? Well you have definitely come to the right place. We have fifty of the best sarcastic, smart ass, awesome quotes for you to use anytime. Even if the quote doesn’t have the word smart ass directly in it, it definitely comes off with a smart ass vibe! Never disappoint with your vibe again by using one of these hilarious quotes. You can send them to your friends or simply post them on your social media. There are quotes for every different situation that you can think of. Trust us, you will not be disappointed after you read through them! Take a peek at the following 50 smart ass related quotes below and laugh your butt off now.

  1. “I’m trying to be really nice right now, but it’s so hard when everyone else is just so dumb.”
  2. “I am not a smartass. I am just a very skilled, very trained professional in pointing out the obvious and I can also fluently speak sarcasm.”
  3. “Trust me… When I woke up this morning I had all the plans in the world to be awesome. But, shit happens and we don’t always get to follow through with our plans, now do we?”
  4. “I have a black belt degree smartass and I’m a few credits short of being a master in bitch-ology.”
  5. “I love how coffee fixes everything. Tired? Drink some coffee. Have a headache? Drink some coffee. Cold? Drink some warm coffee. Someone being annoying or making you angry? Bust them in the head with your coffee cup.”
  6. “Everything in life has the potential to be funny. Stop hating on smartasses. Smartasses seize the moment while you are too busy over there being uptight. Born with a smirk, smartass for life.”
  7. “If you are going to be a smart ass, you at least have to be smart first. Otherwise you are simply just an ass.”
  8. “It is totally okay if you disagree with me. I cannot force you to be right, can I?”
  9. “Patience: It is what you are forced to have when there are too many witnesses around.”
  10. “Speak when you are angry and you will get the best speech that you will come to regret.”
  11. “I’m sorry, I was not aware that you were an expert on life. Excuse me while I sit here and don’t take notes on this bologna.”
  12. “I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The funny thing is that he looked both ways before he crossed. What a smart ass.”
  13. “Hey I found something! Yeah, it is your nose and it was in my business!”
  14. “Tact is for those people that are not clever enough to be sarcastic.”
  15. “She has a smart ass mouth, but she is as honest as they come. She’s sarcastic, but she has a heart of gold. She’s stubborn, but she’s loyal as hell. She’s a little bi-polar, so sometimes you just have to laugh and let her have her way.”
  16. “I am at the age where my brain goes, ‘You probably shouldn’t say that’ to, ‘What the hell, let’s see what happens.’ I’ve grown up.”
  17. “I am trying so hard to see things from your point of view. Unfortunately, I do not have the ability to stick my head that far up my butt.”
  18. “I love sarcasm. It is like punching people in their faces, but with words instead of fists.”
  19. “My silence does not mean that I agree with you at all. It just means I am too smart to waste my breath in response to your ignorance.”
  20. “Some things are definitely better left unsaid. Which is something that I tend to realize after I have already said those things…”
  21. “I am the ultimate mixture of sarcasm and a hint of smartass.”
  22. “I am definitely not saying that I hate you by any means. However, I would totally unplug your life support just to charge my phone.”
  23. “If any of my personalities offend you, I am sure one of them can tell you where to go.”
  24. “Everyone, and I mean everyone, needs a sarcastic smartass of a friend. I am always happy to be of service to you!”
  25. “I do not have to be sarcastic. However, the world has given me so much material to work with that it would be wasteful not to be.”
  26. “My patience is wearing thin. And by thin I mean that you are one smart ass comment away from being smacked upside the head so hard that even Google has a difficult time finding you.”
  27. “I’m a little smart ass, fat and stout, here is my finger and here is my mouth. When I get all worked up I will shout. Piss me off and I’ll knock you out.”
  28. “Yes, I know that there is a special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.”
  29. “Smarter people tend to make sarcastic comments much faster than people with no smarts at all.”
  30. “If I offend you: 1. I apologize. 2. I will try to tone it down. 3. 1&2 are lies. 4. I actually don’t care.”
  31. “Why yes, I am a smart ass! It is much better than being a dumbass.”
  32. “My smart mouth always gets me in trouble. And if it is not my mouth, it’s my facial expressions!”
  33. “I don’t believe there is enough coffee or middle fingers for this Monday.”
  34. “I’m sorry that I don’t take orders from anyone. I barely even take suggestions.”
  35. “Proud mom/dad of a smartass daughter/son!”
  36. “If you have a problem with me, please write it nicely on a piece of paper. Then give it to me so I can shove it up your ass.”
  37. “People ask me if I am always such a smart ass. Nope, sometimes I am asleep.”
  38. “Everything seems to happen for a reason. But sometimes that reason is because you are a dumbass and make bad decisions.”
  39. “I hide behind sarcasm, because sometimes telling people to go screw themselves isn’t appropriate in most social situations”
  40. “A loyal chick comes with a smart ass mouth and a crazy ass attitude.”
  41. “There are only two simple rules to remember when you visit me or my social media page. 1: I have a kickass sense of humor. 2: I honestly don’t give a crap about your feelings.”
  42. “Behind every smart ass, crazy chick is an unfulfilled life of hate, jealousy and envy. Carry on crazy chick… Carry on!”
  43. “I am a proud member of the national academy of smartass, with a minor in sarcasm.”
  44. “If you are funny, you are seventy five percent more attractive. Beauty fades, but sarcasm lasts forever.”
  45. “There are two types of people in this world. People like me and people that can go to hell.”
  46. “There is absolutely no excuse for pure laziness. But if you find one, please let me know right away.”
  47. “Smart assery and sarcasm: Just a few of the services I am good at that I can offer to you.”
  48. “Dirty mind. Caring friend. Potty mouth. Smart ass. Good heart. Kind soul. Sinner. Sort of an asshole. Humble. Great in bed. Can drink like a fish. Will definitely call you on your shit. I never claimed I was perfect.”
  49. “I am sarcastic and have a strong smart ass attitude. It is a natural defense against bullshit, stupidity, drama and idiots.”
  50. “If you don’t want a smart ass response, do not ask a stupid question. Problem solved.”

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