Katy Perry sang about this and every girl in the world could relate to it. One day he’s hot, the other day he’s cold, he’s yes and then no (you know the rest of the lyrics). The point is, women all around the world have had at least one experience with a guy who’s showing mixed signals when it comes to their feelings towards us. Of course, we stick with them because we want to figure out what’s going on and if they’re into us or not. But listen, don’t lose sleep over this. Instead, here are the real reasons why he’s doing this and it’s not you, it’s him.
He wants you to chase him
Maybe you haven’t heard the expression, “flee, and they follow. Follow, and they flee.” Well, he has and he’s learned from past experiences that if he wants to hold the power, he has to make you chase him. His whole hot/cold behaviour is a security net to ensure him that he’s not going to get hurt. This isn’t that he’s not sure about you this is him being unable to give up control and go into a relationship without insecurity. In this case, it’s best you try to be with someone who’s willing to give up control and be vulnerable.
He’s not that into you
If a guy really likes you, he’ll do whatever he can to be with you. It’s really as simple as that. But if he’s acting hot and cold with you, yes, he may like you but he’s struggling with deciding if he wants to commit to you. Well, if this is the case, then it’s best you let him be hot and cold with someone else. You want someone who’s not struggling with deciding if you’re good enough for him or not because you’re too good for him.
He’s feeing his ego
If you had men chasing after you, wanting to be with you and you could easily play with them like a toy, wouldn’t your ego be inflated too? Well, this is the same thing with him. With you chasing him, he’s feeling his ego being inflated but when he’s had enough, he turns cold on you just until he needs another boost to his ego. In essence, his hot and cold behaviour is all a game for his own insecurities and ego.
If a man is secure with himself, he wouldn’t feel the need to be hot and cold with you. Sometimes he ignores you and other times he’s extremely friendly with you, flirting in public, touching your hand. But this is all short-lived because he’s insecure. Once he’s achieved his goal of making you into him, he’s onto the next because he needs constant validation that he’s wanted and desired by women. However, at the same time, he doesn’t want to invest in these relationships, so, that’s why he’s hot and cold.
He doesn’t want to develop feelings
If he wanted to develop feelings and be in love, he would let go and wouldn’t be worried about feeling any type of emotion. But instead, he doesn’t want to be emotionally attached to you, so, instead, he ignores you and then acts friendly towards you. He may, deep down, be into you, but as long as he’s insecure and scared of feeling love, he will continue to do this. If he feels that he’s catching feelings, he’ll act hot and cold because he doesn’t know how to handle these emotions. So, for him, it’s easier to run than to face them.
He doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea
He may have flirted with you in public or even kissed you at a party, but now, he’s behaving like this because he doesn’t want you to get the wrong message. He doesn’t want you to think that he’s into you, regardless of how he actually feels. The point is, he doesn’t want you to think that he’s interested in anything more. So, he pushes you away for some time to create a distance but, since he does like you, he begins to act friendly again because let’s face it, the heart wants what the heart wants. Right now, he’s having a battle with his mind.
When it comes to emotions and feelings, it can be a tricky area. Yeah, he may like you as a friend or as something more, but he’s unable to handle his emotions nor does he want anything more serious with you. So, he starts giving you the cold shoulder, ignoring you when you say hi or ask to hang out. But then, weeks later, it’s like nothing happened and he’s back to his old ways around you. But don’t get caught up in this hot and cold behaviour. At the end of the day, he doesn’t know what he wants.