Home Life 15 Painfully Accurate Songs About Abuse in Relationships

15 Painfully Accurate Songs About Abuse in Relationships


There’s no easy way to approach the topic of abuse. And yet it’s such an alarmingly common theme in some relationships. Abuse doesn’t always have to mean physical abuse where the victim is left bruised and bloody. In fact, the more insidious and less noticed abuse is the emotional and mental kind. It’s so easy to let that kind of abuse slip by because there usually aren’t any physical signs.

Below are some songs that tackle the topic of abusive relationships. Some of these songs were inspired by true events that the artists have experienced. However, some of these songs tackle the issue in a more general sense, perhaps to let the public know that abuse doesn’t have to be as obvious as a bloody nose at the end of the day.

Katy Perry – Hot N Cold

Let’s start off with a more lighthearted song by pop singer Katy Perry. Hot n Cold is a song about her lover’s mood swings, which affects their relationships. He frequently changes his mind for no apparent reason, thus leaving her confused about what he wants and where the relationship is going. While not explicitly abusive, it’s this type of behavior that can leave a partner emotionally exhausted.

Lyrics about abuse: ‘Cause you’re hot then you’re cold

You’re yes then you’re no

You’re in then you’re out

You’re up then you’re down

You’re wrong when it’s right

It’s black and it’s white

We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up

James Morrison feat. Nelly Furtado – Broken Strings

Sometimes love is such a powerful force that we’re willing to go through so much pain just to be with the one we love. Broken Strings captures this sentiment as the two characters in the song admit that their love is far from perfect. Their relationship is filled with deceit and lies, and yet they can’t seem to let each other go. So they go on playing on “broken strings” because they’re two broken people who can’t seem to be apart from each other.

Lyrics about abuse: You can’t play on broken strings

You can’t feel anything that your heart don’t want to feel

I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts

And lies worse

How can I give anymore

When I love you a little less than before


Ellie Goulding – Something in the Way You Move

This catchy, electropop song might be blasting away at your favorite club, but its lyrics aren’t as fun. In the narrator sings about a guy she can’t help but be attracted to. Unfortunately, the guy she’s into is sure to leave her feeling broken and in tears. And yet there’s something about him that draws her in. It might not be an abusive relationship per se, but it’s more of knowing that the relationship isn’t headed in a good direction before it has even begun.

Lyrics about abuse: There’s something in the way you

Push me closer, further

Break me just enough

Your lies always seem so true

There’s nothing left for me to lose

There’s not one thing I can do to change your ways

But I can’t sit back and take the lonely days

When our eyes meet, I can only see the end

And tonight the rain pours again

Bon Jovi – You Give Love a Bad Name

Bon Jovi dated actress Diane Lane in the mid-80s, so there were bound to be rumors that the song is about her. Well, whether she inspired the song or not, there’s no doubt that the song is about a relationship you would never want to be in. In the song, Bon Jovi sings about a woman he loves who is really bad for him. He doesn’t really go into specifics, but you can tell how toxic their relationship is when he starts comparing her to a loaded gun!

Abusive lyrics: An angel’s smile is what you sell

You promise me heaven, then put me through hell

Chains of love got a hold on me

When passion’s a prison, you can’t break free


Beyonce – Jealous

Being taken for granted over and over again can sometimes be considered as abuse. Why? Because it corrodes your relationship and leaves you feeling like you don’t matter to the person who means the world to you. In Jealous, Beyonce describes her relationship with a man who always seems to break her trust. She comes up with creative ways to make him feel loved, and he repays her with betrayal and broken promises.

Abusive lyrics: I wish that you were me

So you could feel this feeling

I never broke one promise,

And I know when you’re not honest

Now you got me yelling

That’s because I’m jealous


The Police – Every Breath You Take

We were all once duped into thinking this song is super romantic, but it’s actually about an ex who turns into a stalker. If you really listen to the lyrics, you’ll see that the singer isn’t actually in a relationship with the woman he loves. And yet he dreams of her every night and watches her every move. This might just be the first song on the list that can legally be considered abusive!

Abusive lyrics: Since you’ve gone I been lost without a trace

I dream at night I can only see your face

I look around but it’s you I can’t replace

I feel so cold and I long for your embrace

I keep crying baby, baby, please

Oh can’t you see

You belong to me

My poor heart aches

With every step you take


Pearl Jam – Better Man

Better Man is a haunting song about a woman who’s trapped in an abusive relationship with her husband. Every night, she dreams of the days when he used to be a better man. And even though she considers finally leaving him, she believes that she can’t find anyone better than the man she has married. And so she comes back to continue the cycle.

Abusive lyrics: She lies and says she’s in love with him, can’t find a better man

She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can’t find a better man


Hozier – Cherry Wine

This song is best listened to with the music video featuring the talented Saoirse Ronan. The song is about an abusive relationship where the woman is the abuser, and the man is the victim who can’t find it in himself to leave her. The song was also released to promote awareness of domestic violence, with its sales going to anti-domestic violence charities.

Abusive lyrics: The way she shows me I’m hers and she is mine

Open hand or closed fist would be fine

The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Face Down

This song is about a woman in an abusive relationship, and the singer is speaking to both the abuser and the victim. The singer talks about how she covers up her bruises with makeup as her boyfriend swears that he’s sorry and that she loves her.

Abusive lyrics: Do you feel like a man when you push her around?

Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?

Well, I’ll tell you, my friend, one day this world’s gonna end

As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found


Green Day – Pulling Teeth

Here’s another less conventional song about abuse where the victim is the man. He’s stuck in a relationship where he always needs to reassure the girl of his love for her before she starts beating him again. However, despite wishing he could get out of the situation, he still believes she takes good care of him.

Abusive lyrics: I’m all busted up

Broken bones and nasty cuts

Accidents will happen

But this time I can’t get up

She comes to check on me

Making sure I’m on my knees

After all she’s the one

Who put me in this state


Christina Perri – Jar of Hearts

Possibly one of the most heartfelt songs in this list because of its autobiographical nature, Jar of Hearts tells the story of an ex flame looking to rekindle a failed relationship. Christina Perri recalls the toxic nature of their relationship as she rebuffs his advances.

Abusive lyrics: And who do you think you are?

Runnin’ ’round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You’re gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don’t come back for me

Who do you think you are?


Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Jordan – Stone Cold Dead in the Market

Catchy and morbid at the same time, Stone Cold Dead in the Market is a cautionary tale about what a woman might do when she gets fed up with abuse. The lyrics are told from the abusive husband who lies stone cold dead in the market because his wife bashed his head in with a rolling pin, a pot, or a frying pan – the dead man’s not quite sure on account of his bashed-in head.

Abusive lyrics: Last night I went out drinking

When I came home, I gave her a beating

So she catch up the rolling pin and went to work on my head

Till she bash it in


Tracy Chapman – Behind the Wall

This haunting song is performed with no instrumentation to really highlight the lyrics. The singer in this song hears the screaming of a woman behind the wall as she is beaten by her husband. She tells of how the police refuse to interfere with domestic affairs as the woman cries helplessly. In the last verse, the ambulance arrives to take the woman away as the police tell everyone to go back to sleep.

Abusive lyrics: Last night I heard the screaming

Then a silence that chilled my soul

I prayed that I was dreaming

When I saw the ambulance in the road

And the policeman said

“I’m here to keep the peace

Will the crowd disperse

I think we all could use some sleep”


Carrie Underwood – Church Bells

This song of revenge might deter potential abusers not to push their partner’s buttons. Church Bells tells the story of a poor young woman name Jenny who marries a rich gentleman. It turns out that her husband is an abusive drunk. So she slips some poison into his drink and makes sure he never beats her again.

Abusive lyrics: No law man was ever gonna find

And how he died is still a mystery

But he hit a woman for the very last time


Eminem feat. Rihanna – Love the Way You Lie

While violent and abusive, Love the Way You Lie is a song that reflects many abusive relationships. Unlike some songs on the list where the victim either gets revenge, escapes, or stays helpless, the victim in this song admittedly forms a love-hate relationship with her abuser. Both Eminem and Rihanna have had their fair share of abusive or toxic relationships, which is what lends an authentic feel to this song.

Abusive lyrics: I can’t tell you what it really is

I can only tell you what it feels like

And right now there’s a steel knife in my windpipe

I can’t breathe but I still fight while I can fight

As long as the wrong feels right it’s like I’m in flight

High off her love, drunk from her hate,

It’s like I’m huffing paint and I love her the more I suffer, I suffocate

And right before I’m about to drown, she resuscitates me

She fucking hates me and I love it

There is no excuse for abuse in any relationship. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, make a call to an organization that handles these issues before it’s too late.


    • He abuses you. His actions may become more violent. Your life may be in danger. He is not treating you with respect or love. End this relationship as soon as you are able to do so. Take this time to strengthen your relationship with your family and friends. Call the authorities if you are able to do so. Best of luck, Linthontho!

    • I was too i had was abused by a friend i was 8 i know your thinking no way this girl is telling the truth her friends were like 8 no my friends were all older then me and the guy that did this to me moved away and he threaten my life many times when i was 12 and i never told anyone but my sisters and best friends. He moved back near me and so when i am out i wear a hoodie and a hat i am scared he will find me. He hurt my sister once because she was with me. I am now 16. U can leave him but its going to be scary as hell.

      • Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Your support will certainly help people make rational decisions. Please feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Natalie!

    • Let go and let God love doesn’t hurt like that only in your heart he will give you the strength to do it. I’m anout to leave mine I’ll pray for you

      • Thank you for sharing your supportive comment. Please feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Stephanie!

  1. You don’t love him, you need him, it’s not the same thing. When someone is in the right frame of mind love can be lost so quickly, if my boyfriend hit me my feelings would change completely towards him because I know how that ends I was in an abusive relationship before and people say people can’t change but this guy did, he stopped hitting me, because I said I was finished with him after he hit me in the face at his sisters wedding in front of my children and all the guests & I always try to see a positive because before I was hiding it now I couldn’t hide it he had forced my hand, so I said ok me and you are done. He begged and pledged over a matter of a few weeks and I said I don’t forgive you and never will so if I give you one more chance the minute you go that way again you have to agree on paper that you can’t make a fuss because I stated I don’t forgive you your the one asking for the chance not me I want to end it, I’m manipulative too I’m just don’t abuse people, so anyway he did that we gave it another go and lasted quite a few years and he never raised his hand to me once, until we split up years later because of his lies around other stuff like stealing my money and lying about it or saying he had a job but didn’t. What you have to understand is simple, if someone is made that way they can only change themselves if they want to and if you make it easy for them by saying this is ok behaviour they will continue, you have to be brave, even if you want to stay in this relationship you have to be brave and decide do I want to waste my life on solving this guys issues because clearly he doesn’t know how to respect you and allows anger to take over and normally that’s not something you’ve done it is something that’s alreasy in place years before and you can’t change him all you can do is change yourself. Please I’d erstand when I say get brave I don’t mean fight him back etc I mean make tough decisions and be willing to stand by them, he will say stuff like ok leave me I will kill myself and you have to say if I stay you or I will kill me so this isn’t my mess it’s yours don’t talk to me about it, and expect me to solve it that’s for you to undo. Anyway I think you got one life it goes fast your nobody’s counseller or mother let him sort himself out, if not I advise you to leave and don’t look back you will leave eventually why put up with a life of misery either that or he will kill you. So I’m sorry that’s a tough one for you but the quicker you realise the quicker you can start thinking why you need him in your life, does he bring a certain lifestyle or is it cos he is funny or do you feel safe with him because he is a strong character, all questions you can be asking yourself… I had a few bfs after my abusive bf and now I have a lovely man in my life and funny enough he is very similar to the first guy who was abusive he likes the same things into cars and football and he is funny and quite a few things are very similar but where it counts he is very different he don’t hit me lie to me or steal from me. So why waste your time when your perfect partner could be out there looking for you and your there wasting your time with this guy? And he could bring all the things to your life that this guy does but without the abuse. Think about it!! Good luck.

    • Thank you for sharing your story. Please feel free to share more of your insights and experiences in the future. It is certain that you will help members of our community because you shared your experiences. Have a great day, Fiona!

    • Thank you for sharing your comment. If you are abused, then it would be beneficial for you to do whatever you can. If you are able to call the police and get support, then do so. If not, then make whatever you decisions you feel are appropriate and viable. Best of luck, Just!

  2. You should put 30 minute break by the Luka state. It’s about a man in a abusive relationship with his girlfriend and in the video it shows that he’s been beaten before and when ever he wants to leave she cuts herself to guilt him into staying.

    Abusive lyrics

    And he’s walking home
    He’s thinking of what she’s done.]

    Half and hour later
    Kiss and cuddle she’s fine
    She f***ed him over
    Did him big time
    It’s a shame, it’s a shame
    That you have to treat him that way
    But you blame, you blame him for everythin

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts and lyrics. We always support members of our community sharing songs that nourish them. Please feel free to share more of your positive comments in the future. Have a great day, Eren!


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