Guys are, well, distractible by nature. It isn’t really their fault. They were created to be hunters and gatherers, which has them very aware of the things around them no matter what is right in their face. They are also creatures that need specific things to spark their interest and to make them feel good enough to stick around.
I am not going to lie; there is a lot of competition in the dating world. At every singles bar are likely twenty other women that he could be talking to. Even worse, he has online dating, Facebook, and Tinder. If you want to keep his attention long enough to make it from the meet and greet to get to know you, there are twelve things to talk about that will keep him interested.
Talk about these 12 things to keep him on the hook
Men have a tendency to be a bit self-centered. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to hear about you, okay, maybe it is. When you are meeting him, he wants to put all his best assets on the line and know that you are interested in everything “him”. If you can get him to open up, present himself in the best light and show interest in all that he has to say, then you are almost guaranteed that he won’t “get up to go to the bathroom” and not return.
#1 Sex – Okay, maybe not something that you necessarily have to lead with, but sex, sexual innuendos, or even the illusion of sexual banter, is one of the best things to talk about to get him interested. I am not saying that you have to “dirty talk” him. In fact, that might come off a little aggressive. Just work in ways to talk about sexual things lightly, and it will peak his intrigue enough to sit around and want to find out where the evening is about to go.
#2 What he does for a living – Men define themselves by what they do for a living. One of the biggest things that drive them, their success is very important to them. If you want to keep a guy’s attention, ask him about his work and professional accomplishments. If he is the CEO or the man behind the counter at the local gas station, it makes no difference. Allow him to tell you how he runs the show. The more he talks, the more he will feel good about his place on earth. If he feels good about himself, he will feel good about talking to you, which equals holding his attention.
#3 What he likes to do – Men like to talk about what they like to do. They aren’t always the greatest conversationalists, so choosing something that they can talk freely and intently about will put them at ease and make them want to continue the conversation. If they feel like there is too much pressure in an exchange, they will move on to look for something more superficial. Finding out about what he likes to do, will conjure good feelings in him, make him feel confident and comfortable, and, before you know it, the lights will be going on in the bar and you will making plans for your next gettogether.
#4 Hobbies – I am just going to put it out there, guys are geeks. When they have interests, whether it is classic cars or mountain biking, they think that everyone wants to hear about them. They choose hobbies because they can immerse themselves in them, and when talking about those hobbies, they can immerse themselves into talking to you. If you ask about what he does in his spare time, or what he most likes doing, hobby-wise, you will be able to hold his attention long enough to develop a rapport.
#5 Crazy frat and friend stories – Nothing makes a guy feel more engaged then telling you about all the silliness he has done in his past. Like a badge of honor, men like to recount the time that they stole the keg from some wedding or jumped off a bridge for no reason. These rights of passage to manhood are very important to men and make them feel young and unique. Let him tell you all about the craziest things he’s done. Just beware, if you do end up peaking his interest and dating him, you will probably hear the same stories over and over again, and you will just have to pretend each time is the first.
#6 His favorite food – Yep, most guys are foodies. The way to a man’s heart and their head is food. Talk about his favorite restaurants or even what his grandmother used to make that tasted like home. The topic can work in two respects. Not only will it help you to keep him entertained enough to keep talking to you, if you develop a relationship, you will know how to brighten his day with the right meal to end it.
#7 Ask him about what he wants to do going forward – Most guys are very passionate about their goals and what they want to do with their future. Ask him about where he sees himself in five years or what his goals are for his future. Some guys will talk about climbing mountains, while others will say they want to make it up the corporate ladder. Being able to dream is something that guys don’t do very often, so letting them dream while with you, might make him see that you are his dream girl.
#8 Find things you have in common – Try to ask him about general things to find out what you have in common. If you both grew up in the Midwest or had mothers who were nurses, then you have found something in common. The more you have in common with someone, the more you will find you have to talk about. Avoiding the awkward silence that comes from finding you don’t really have much to talk about, getting at the heart of the things that bind you together, can help you to extend your conversation well into the evening.
#9 Really anything about him – Men bond with people who they can open themselves up to. Not big talkers, they probably don’t share much about themselves or their feelings with other people in their lives. If you can get them to open up and talk about things that are important, they will feel invested in you as a person. Try to ask questions about them and what they are all about to find out who you are with and to keep them engaged in your conversation.
#10 Silly questions – Men like a girl who can make them laugh and not take themselves so seriously. Try to ask some thought-provoking or witty questions to let him know that you aren’t all about the serious, but you know how to have fun. Ask him silly or sarcastic things to throw him off his guard and let him know you have a fun and humorous side. Guys don’t want to feel interrogated. So, if you feel like you have been asking too many questions, then lighten things up with a little humor.
#11 Talk about yourself in a positive light – If you are going to talk about yourself make sure to keep it positive and light. If you come on too strong, emotional, or even downright negative and bitter, that is going to have him walking away in an instant. Whatever subject you decide to talk about, make sure always to find the silver lining. Men want women who are not all that serious, can laugh at things, and, they definitely, aren’t looking for baggage. Don’t pull out the suitcase, instead just talk surface and about the good qualities you have including being care-free and non-pressuring.
#12 Let him ask you whatever questions he wants – If you want to mix things up, then turn the tables and tell him that he can ask you anything he wants without limits. Putting the power of the relationship in his hands and letting him know that you have nothing to hide and aren’t afraid of a little banter, will have him intrigued. Even if he doesn’t know what to ask or is caught off guard, it is a great way to have him thinking about what he wants to know more about you and that he doesn’t have to reserve his questions or thoughts. No game playing, just put it all out there.
Men like to talk about themselves and feel like they are important. If you want to keep him interested in talking to you, then it is best to let him talk about him. It isn’t that he isn’t going to want to know things about you, but he will likely be trying to impress you, so let him think that he is, and you will be good as golden.
Guys want to see adoration and respect in your eyes, and your responses so keep it light, seem engaged and interested, and be as positive as you can, will make him want to shoot the night away with no one but you.