Everyone tells you that high school relationships are not “real”relationships. Adults tell you that you will love other people and that what you feel is not “real” love. They say that you will never stay with or marry your high school sweetheart and that your relationships are a waste of time when you should be focused on school. While there might be some truth to these statements, there are always exceptions to the rule.
We will cover some common truths about high school relationships, but there are always exceptions. I personally know of at least one couple that started dating in middle school, married when they were old enough and are still together over two decades later. While this is one of the only couples that I know that had a long-lasting high school relationship, they are certainly not the only couple out there. You will most likely go on to have more relationships, but that does not mean that your feelings are not real. A high school relationship prepares you for future relationships, but you should also be wary of committing yourself too much, too soon. If it is real love, it will last and withstand the test of time.
The Relationship Will Not Make It Through College
Again, this is not the case for every relationship, but it is true often enough to be considered a general rule. While some couples manage to keep their relationship going through college, this is not always the case. This is especially true if you are not in the same grade. If one of you is still in high school, then the college change is going to be even harder. Your lifestyles will be totally different. College comes with new responsibilities, internships, apartments, dorms and new friends. This makes it hard to maintain a connection because you just aren’t at the same stage of life anymore.
If you are both in the same grade, you should still treat college with caution. By the time winter break rolls around, one or both of you will be rethinking it. This does not mean that you can’t try to make it work. You should be cautious about switching your dream college to his (or hers) just because you want the relationship to work out. When it inevitably ends, you will hate yourself for forgoing your dream college or a scholarship for a relationship that ended up wilting away.
It Is Easy to Fall Out of Love
The human brain does not completely develop until around age 25. Until then, your personality, interests and passions can change drastically. Once you reach the age of 25, your personality is generally set for life. There might be a few small changes over time, but you will basically remain fairly similar.
What this means is that your high school relationship might not last for long. It is easy to fall out of love when your (or your partner’s) personality changes. Your values, sexuality and ideas are constantly evolving. It is entirely possible that a relationship that fits like a puzzle piece for now won’t be right in a few months when you are incompatible for each other. This is not because there is anything wrong with either of you—it is just a part of growing up.
Privacy Is Impossible
While some truths about high school relationship are not always true, this one is true in almost every case. You live with your parents or guardians, so you cannot have your boyfriend or girlfriend over for the night. You are constantly trying to text your partner without your parents looking over your shoulder. When you want some alone time, you have to park somewhere and hope that a teacher, cop or parent doesn’t walk by.
They Rarely Last Long
This is often true, although there are always exceptions. If you were to look at the statistics though, you would find that the average high school relationship does not last for very long. If it lasts more than a couple of months,you are doing pretty good. No one likes to talk about this much, but it is still true. With changing personalities and changing needs, your relationship will probably be measured in months instead of years.
You Do Not Know What You Are Doing
Don’t be offended. This is true for everyone in their first few relationships. I distinctly remember skimming Cosmopolitan for tips on how to kiss with my gal friends. No one knows everything about relationships until they have actually been in one. This is not just true for the intimate side of a relationship. Having a relationship is actually a skill. You have to know how to join your life to someone else’s, listen to them and build a relationship. This takes time, and it is probably one of the reasons why high school relationships have a tendency to become a bit dramatic.
You Learn What You Don’t Want
Statistically, you will probably have several relationships before you end up finding the right person. While the pain of heart break is traumatic, there is some good news: each relationship teaches what you like and what you don’t want. When you are in your high school relationship, you learn exactly what you hate in a partner. You also learn to spot behaviors like a controlling nature or jealousy early on. All of these relationships help you learn what to look for in your eventual life partner.