When two people meet each other, it can sometimes seem like there is just an instant chemistry. Technically speaking, this instant chemistry is not love. This attraction is based more on lust and a physical attraction.
This is not to rule out being attracted to the individual’s personality as well. Initially, the attraction to a new person is generally to the way they look. After all, the only thing that you notice at first is how they look because you have not had a chance to talk to them or read their mannerisms yet.
There is still a chance that a little of the personality seeps through to this initial lust and physical attraction. People stand a certain way, use their hands in certain ways and have different facial expressions based on their personality. Sometimes, your instant attraction to someone is because you picked up on these hidden body language cues as well as the person’s good looks.
Whatever the case, you now want to know more about this chemistry. You might not be sure why it happened or what it really means, but you know that there is an unspoken attraction between two people. What could this unspoken attraction really mean?
How Chemistry Compares to Love
Despite the rumors of “love at first sight,” love at first sight does not exist. Love is something that develops after a mutual attraction deepens, affection grows and a bond is created. If someone says that they experienced love at first sight, what they really experienced was an initial attraction that later turned into real love.
Love is not something that suddenly strikes you like a lightening bolt. Love takes time to build up. Before your initial spark can become love, you experience a chemistry. It is like an unspoken attraction between two people. This unspoken attraction could lead to flirting, a one night stand, a relationship or nothing at all. You might experience an unspoken attraction when you are single or when you are already taken. This type of attraction will happen to everyone from time to time. The only question is what you are going to do (or not do) about it.
Do They Feel It, Too?
This is an important component to your mutual attraction. For the feeling to be mutual, both of you would have to experience. If you feel an instant, unspoken attraction for someone, you obviously want to know if they feel the same way. We will go through a few of the signs that your mysterious crush may have experienced the exact same feelings.
1. You Keep Looking at Each Other
This is one of the most obvious signs that there is an unspoken attraction between two people. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and this is fairly true. Actually, researchers have recently shown that gazing into someone’s eyes can even create feelings of love. In the study, two people were asked to ask each other questions that became progressively more personal. Then, they had to gaze into each other’s eyes for a set amount of time.
How a woman or man looks at someone reveals a great deal. If a guy has a crush on you, his eyes may unconsciously return to wherever you are in the room. He may unintentionally stare at you and blush when you catch him staring.
It used to be the case that these looks and long gazes were primarily shown by guys. It wasn’t because women did not feel the same way; society just expected men to be the initiators in any relationship. As society has thankfully changed to more equal relationships, this has also changed. Now, men and women can use their gaze to indicate attraction and chemistry.
If you are uncertain if your guy or girl is actually interested, look at how they do the gaze. When someone is attracted, chemicals in their body cause different reactions. Their pupils dilate, and their eyes appear more open. Raising the eyebrows slightly or tilting the head are also “friend” signals that we do on greeting someone we see as a friend, family member or romantic interest.
2. You Are Closer Than Most People
This is another obvious sign that someone might have an unspoken attraction to you. Even though they are busy or have other friends, he or she makes it a point to be around you. When you like someone, it is only natural that you would want to be close to them.
This type of situation could happen with just an acquaintance or with your best friend. Sometimes, one or both best friends have an unspoken attraction. They may have never acted on it because they were afraid of ruining the friendship. In other cases, a new acquaintance starts to hang out with you all the time because they are attracted to you. Either way, the extra proximity around each other is a sign that one or both of you could be interested in something more.
3. You Stop Paying Attention to Other People
This is a corollary to the last sign, and it makes sense. Even if you are not deliberately ignoring other people, it might happen from time to time. When you are extremely attracted to someone, it only makes sense that you would want to spend as much time with them as possible. You forget about everything else other than the person that you have a crush on. Because of this, your other friends and family members may be left behind now and then.
You can see if the other person is doing this just by talking to them. Look at how behave around you and around other people. When he talks to a friend, does he still respond to texts from other people? What about when he talks to you? If he ignores his phone calls and texts when he is deep in conversation with you, then you can bet that he is interested in you on some level.
4. Learn to Read Body Language
This is another obvious sign for an unspoken attraction between two people. The only problem is that it can take time to learn how to read body language. If you have not started learning yet, the time to start is now. An estimated 90 percent of communication between two people is body language. While actual gestures vary from culture to culture, there are a few gestures that always happen because of how the limbic system and human biology works.
Physically, the pulse increases when someone is around their crush. The blood flow pumps faster, and the individual breathes a little faster than normal. Women will often do thing subconsciously like cross their legs, play with their hair or lick their lips. Men might do similar grooming gestures to defray their nerves and subconsciously make themselves look good.
One shared sign for both genders is the lean. Like any body language gesture, you have to look at the situation to interpret it properly. Look at how you responded to someone you hated terribly and someone you love a lot. When you talked to that hated individual, did you want to be close to them? Of course not. When you dislike someone as a person or dislike what they are saying, you lean away from them. Your mind is repelled, so your subconscious literally tries to push you away from them.
When you like someone or you like something that someone is saying, the opposite thing happens. You lean in closer. When you see a couple that is completely infatuated, both partners will be leaning over the table together in a deep, intimate conversation. Leaning in can also happen with anyone you like—not just a crush–, so don’t immediately assume that they are interested. He or she might just view you as a friend, so you have to look at the other unspoken signs of attraction.
5. You Don’t Want to Leave
When the chemistry between two people is extremely strong, it feels like they never want the night to end. If the couple is talking on the phone, one of them might fall asleep because they were so unwilling to hang up. When two people have an unspoken attraction to each other, this is an obvious sign. Both of you are starting to feel close to each other, so you just don’t want your especial moment together to end.
6. Teasing Each Other
Teasing is another fairly common sign that someone might be interested in you. It sounds like something a kindergarten kid would do at first. After all, only children would tease or pick on their crush, right? Not true. In reality, teasing just changes slightly as we get older. Many people use teasing as a way to flirt Teasing might involve pushing one another slightly, teasing each other about a mistake or something similar. Over time, your teasing may also transform into more open flirting.
As your relationship progresses, you may flirt in front of other people. Once you are at this stage, other people will start to notice that you are interested in each other. When other people start to point out that someone has a crush on you, you can basically bet that there is an unspoken attraction between two people going on.