Once the ice breaks, that’s when you can really be comfortable enough to get to know each other. But what can you do to break the ice and start flirting with the girl you like? Here are some suggestions:
Smile and say hello. This is by far the most basic thing you can do to catch a girl’s attention and break the ice. It’s simple, non-threatening, and in a way, it can also be charming. When you start off by saying hello, make sure you do so in a way that you know you have her attention. For instance, you might be sitting across the bar from each other and she has already been looking your way. You can also use this when the girl has no clue that you’ve been eyeing her because of how simple and polite this entry is.
Give her a compliment off the bat. Compliments are great in that they easily help to build rapport between two people. When giving a girl a compliment, make sure you carefully select your words. Belting out “hey beautiful!” can sound like a cat call, and women won’t take kindly too it (along with other women in the room). Instead, give her a compliment that’s both sincere and catchy. For instance, you may notice that her drink of choice is a cosmopolitan. You can say something like “now THAT is a real sophisticated lady’s drink!” Your compliment should be specific to her and not just something you’d blurt out at any random woman.
Comment on something you know about her, no matter how trivial. Establishing common ground is the key to breaking the ice. Once you’ve established that you have something in common, it’s easier to find something to talk about. But how can you know enough about her to make a flattering comment. For one, you can tell a lot about a person by how they look. For instance, you might notice that she enjoys talking about music with her friends or that she has a pop culture icon for a tattoo. You can say something like, “Have you any idea how hard it is to find a girl who listens to Nine Inch Nails?!” or “So why do you have a tattoo of an ouroboros?” That can be enough to get her to open up to you.
Make a bet. People are competitive by nature. They may not show it a lot, but they can always be up to making a bet and hoping their hunch is right. So when you approach her with the initial his and hellos, say something like “I bet you one drink that guy at the bar there is going to fall off his chair after his second drink.” She might then take you up on that challenge. Naturally, you’ll have to watch the drunk guy as you count how many drinks it takes to get him to fall off his seat and during that time you have a world of stuff to talk about.
Ask her for a favor. You might be thinking “we don’t even know each other’s names and you want me to ask her for a favor?!” Well, it doesn’t have to be a big favor! People are generally a cooperative bunch who would do what they can to help someone in need, and you can use that to your flirtatious advantage. For instance, you might ask her to pass the menu, the salt, a napkin, a bunch of folders, or whatever object she has within reach. And when she does, give her your most charming smile as you say thank you. If you play your cards right, she’ll notice that charming smile and start looking your way more often.
Ask her for some advice about something absolutely ridiculous. Like we said, people like to help each other out, especially if it’s not a hassle for them to do anything. And if we know anything about people, it’s that they like to give out advice when they can. So ask her for some advice and make her feel like her opinions really count. However, instead of asking her for advice on something generic like work, finances, or what movie to watch, ask her about something ridiculous enough to make her laugh. For instance, you can say something like “You strike me as the type of girl I can turn to when I need advice about the best kind of soap.” She might do a double take and ask why you think that, and you can say, “well, I can’t recognize your perfume, so I assume you’re using a super expensive and exclusive type of soap.” Now that’s how you thinly veil a compliment!
Get her to make a snap decision. This can be like a little game you can play that will catch her off guard. After all, when someone asks a question in a tone of urgency, we’ll have a tendency to want to respond. So ask her something like “Quick quiz: If you were stuck on a deserted island, what one book/movie/CD would you take with you?” It’s a fun question that you might ask a friend, but it’s double the fun when you ask a girl you barely know. Remember that when you ask the question, try to tailor it to something she’s sure to be interested in. For example, if you meet her at a movie screening, ask a question related to movies. If you notice she’s a fan of Game of Thrones, make it specific to that. And if you meet her at a rock concert, ask her a question about music.
Make an absolutely absurd statement. Absurdity is hilarious if you play it right. The great thing about making an absurd statement is that it’s better when you do it when you and the girl you want to flirt with have already had a handful of drinks. So what absurd statement should you make? Here’s an easy example. Ask her for her name, and she might say “I’m Elise.” You can then say “Now friggin’ way! My name’s Elise too!” She’s sure to give you a WTF look, but then you can break the ice and tell her something like, “Just kidding. My name is actually Tom. But if I were a woman, I would definitely want to be named Elise.” Again, that’s another way of delivering a compliment no matter how silly you’ve made yourself look.
Make the move online. These days, a lot of people make their first real interactions online instead of in real life. So whether you met this girl on Tinder, added her randomly on Instagram or Facebook, or you just know each other enough to be on each other’s social media, try breaking the ice online. One thing you can say to someone you met on an online dating platform is, “I know it’s weird but I don’t think I want this day to end without asking you out for coffee.” That can make her excited to meet you too. If that’s too forward? Try another move like sending her a meme or a song or an article about something she likes based on her posts.
Ice breakers tend to be a hit or miss type of situation. So before you pick out the ice breaker that you want to use, try to predict if she’d respond well to it first!