Many romantic comedies joke about “what women want” for a reason. For your average guy, figuring out what a woman wants in a relationship can be difficult. You want to make her happy, but it seems impossible to read her emotions, mannerisms and the nuances in her character. If you can’t figure out what women want in general, then learning what women look for in a man is even more difficult.
Let’s preface this article with a bit of a caveat. While the article includes 15 things women look for in a man that are generally true, every woman is slightly different. Some women want a gamer with a long ponytail and others want a man who looks like a logger-turned-Abercrombie-model. It would be impossible to get a single man who is perfect for every woman on earth. With that said, we will help you out by getting as close as possible. Every woman is different, but most will appreciate a guy who has some or all of the following qualities.
15 Things Women Look for in a Man
1. Your Charm
A charming man is one of the first things that attracts a woman. Yes, your looks are important. Looks alone are not enough to woo a lady though. Your charm makes you approachable, interesting and unique. Plus, it is an easy way to make you more attractive than your looks alone. If you are normally an 8 or a 9, adding a bit of charm could easily boost you to a perfect 10 on the scale of attractiveness.
2. The Right Personality
For a one night stand, a woman only needs someone who has an okay personality. As long as his mannerisms and attitude aren’t a complete turn off, he might do. For a relationship or even a longer fling, you have to have the right personality. Your personalities have to blend well together or you will be too incompatible for a longer relationship. Unfortunately, there is nothing that you can do about this one—you are either compatible with each other or you aren’t.
3. Grooming Matters
I once had a guy friend who asked me out. I turned him down because I just didn’t find him attractive. Later on, he shaved his long, greasy hair, grew a well-trimmed beard and lost the look of constantly being hung over. It made me do a double-take. You would be amazed at the difference that grooming can make, especially if you are normally lazy about it. Keep your clothes clean, trim the beard (or shave) regularly, keep your hair cut and dress as well as you can. You can only do so much with the looks you have, so don’t make things worse for yourself by deliberately allowing your appearance to become dirty and unkempt.
4. A Man Who Is Well-Respected
If no one thinks well of you, the women that you meet will take their cue. They just met you, so they have to go on what other people think to some extent. If everyone thinks you are flaky or a jerk, that attitude is going to spread. Women like to be respected by the man they date, but they also want to be with a man who is worthy of their respect.
5. Your Body
Don’t get offended. It’s how humans work. Ideally, we could all meet online and find the perfect personality match before we tried to see how compatible we are in the looks department. This is not how it actually works. For hundreds of thousands of years, humans have used the way someone looks to decide whether they will chat them up or not. First, she will immediately decide if you are a possible partner because of how you look. Next, she will talk to you and find out if everything else about you is compatible as well.
If you want to successfully find a girlfriend or date, spend some time working on your biceps and deltoids. Work on your legs too—some ladies like muscular legs, and you don’t want to be one of those men at the gym who gets bulky arms and chicken legs. As you work out more, you will start to look healthier, sexier and more confident.
6. Your Job and Salary
This one is not quite as true anymore. After all, most women have jobs and careers to build. At the same time, a woman who is pursuing her law degree might not want to be with a guy who has spent the last five years working at fast food joints and living in his parents’ basements. Wanting someone with a good job is not just the 1950s ideal of having a man who can take care of you. Now, women want a man with a good job because they have good jobs, and they want a guy who is at a similar place in life.
7. Make Her Relax
If she feels comfortable and relaxed, she is far more likely to be interested in you. Women (like men) want to be around someone that they can actually talk to. If you can’t say more than “hello” to each other and have nothing in common, it would be extremely uncomfortable to spend a lot of time around each other. Instead, she is going to want a partner who makes her feel comfortable and who she can have a good conversation with.
8. You Look Good
It helps if your body is well-toned and you are well-groomed, but you also have to look good. A handsome face goes a long way toward getting a woman interested. You can boost your appeal by having a good posture and dressing well. A genuine smile and confidence can also help to make your appearance more appealing.
9. Make Her Laugh
Unsurprisingly, a sense of humor is extremely important to a woman. Most women can figure out if a guy has a good sense of humor in the first one to five minutes of talking to him. Girls are naturally attracted to men who have a good sense of humor. It makes them feel happy and brightens their day. You could be a fairly average looking guy and still get a bunch of admirers if you have a sense of humor.
10. Act Respectfully Toward Her
No woman will stay with a disrespectful guy for long. If she does, she probably is not the type of girl you should want anyway. A confident, attractive woman wants to be respected and deserves it. She will find someone else to date if you do not value her and act respectfully toward her. In addition, make sure to be respectful to other people as well. Act respectfully to waiters, cashiers and anyone else that you encounter on your dates. If you don’t treat everyone with respect, she will gradually lose interest in you. It is a natural instinct to see kind men as father material, so wanting kind, respectful partners is an evolutionary trait that is ingrained in women.
11. Be Confident
Confidence is one of the sexiest traits that there is. Even someone who would normally be thought of as ugly can seem attractive if they have the right blend of confidence, intelligence and humor. Obviously, you can go overboard with this—if you seem like a narcissist or egotistical, you will drive women away from you. At the same time, the right amount of confidence will lure ladies toward you like bees toward honey.
12. Women Want an Equal
Women do not want to have a man who is her boss or who plays the superior role in the relationship. Women won the right to vote about 100 years ago, and there have been massive social changes over the decades. Now, women want someone who is their equal. If she just got her doctoral degree, she will want a partner who is as driven or invested in their education. If she is a manager at a large corporation, she will want a partner who is that committed to their career as well. This does not mean that you also have to be a corporate manager or a doctoral candidate. Instead, it means that you should strive to achieve the same types of qualities that you want to find in a partner.
13. Women Want a Good Listener
The best relationships are based on communication. Both partners must be able to openly, honestly share how they feel and work constructively through problems. While you may be able to get away with being a bad listener if you are in a fling or a one night stand, it will not be enough for a long-term relationship.
14. Don’t Be a Pushover, But Don’t Be Bossy
Sorry, fellas. This step is not an easy one. Women do not want a guy who is a pushover and who lets everyone walk all over him. At the same time, they also do not want someone who bosses them around, refuses to listen to them and demands that his way is the only way. Stick to the middle ground or your dating life will suffer.
15. Get Talking
Even if you spend most of your time having sex, there will still be a decent amount of time that you will have to fill with something else. At the very least, you need to be a good conversationalist if you want to interest a woman in the first place. Learn how to talk to a woman by finding interesting conversation topics, and your chances of finding a date will go up.