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What Does It Mean When a Girl Says I Need Some Time to Think?

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If your girlfriend or crush just said that she needs some time to think, you are probably in for some trouble. While it is always possible that it means nothing, in most cases, this is not a good sign. While you might be justifiably worried, there are a few things that you can do to make sure that your relationship does not end in despair.

What Does It Mean When a Girl Says I Need Some Time to Think?

While there are many things that can cause her to say that she needs time to think, the end result is always the same: she needs time to think. She might want to decide if the relationship is really right for her, or she may just need some space to decide what she wants out of life on her own. Whatever the case, she genuinely needs time to think.

Your best bet is to always listen to her. It can be extremely painful to just wait and hope for the best, but it is the only thing that you can really do. She might come back to you, or she might leave. If you try to force her to talk to her and do not give her time to think, you will push her away from you. Your only real option right now is to respect her wishes and give her plenty of time to think.

1. She Is Uncertain What She Wants

This is not always a bad reason. In life, there are always choices to make. From choosing the next step in her career to going to college, she has major, stressful decisions that she has to make. She might just need time to make these decisions on her own without having to stress about what you are doing.

Of course, it is also possible that your girlfriend is wanting to think about the relationship. If you have had problems lately, she might need time to decide if this is really the right relationship for her. When you are constantly around someone, it is easy for your judgment to become clouded. She may just need time to decide exactly what she wants and if this relationship is working for her.

2. She Is Under Stress

When you are under constant stress, it is hard to balance work, friends, a relationship and work. Something has to give if you want to get everything done without going crazy. If your girlfriend has been under a lot of stress, then she needs time to herself to sort everything out. She cannot do everything at once, she just needs a few days to herself to get everything sorted.

3. She Feels Constrained

When you fall in love, it is easy to spend every moment together. You become infatuated and just want to spend each waking moment with your partner. While this might be fine at first, it is a bit unsustainable. At some point, your girlfriend may start to feel like a caged bird. She may miss hanging out with friends and doing all of her favorite hobbies. If you try to cage her in, she will try to fly away. Let her have this time to relax and be herself again.

4. She Is Rethinking the Relationship

This is often the first thing that people think when their girlfriend says that she needs time to think. While it is not always the case, this is sometimes true. She might not be sure if you are the right guy for her, so she is trying to decide if she wants to stay in the relationship. By getting some space, she can try to look at the situation objectively. All you can do is give her space and respect her wishes.

5. She Just Needs Alone Time

While you want to spend every moment with her, she might want a little alone time to unwind. She may need a couple of days to lounge around, watch Netflix and wear sweatpants whenever she wants to. When you first start dating someone, you often spend significant amounts of time together. If this is the case, there is nothing to worry about. She just wants to unwind a bit, so let her.

What Should You Do If Your Girlfriend Needs Time to Think?

The one thing that you should always do is give your girlfriend time to think. She needs space for a reason, so let her have it. Trying to stop her will only push her away from you and cause the relationship to end. No matter what the reason is, you need to let her have time to think.

The only problem is that you will spend that time wondering if she will come back to you. The “why” question keeps running through your head. Before you give her time to think, ask her why. Be calm and kind so that she does not get upset. Just let her know that you want to make sure that you didn’t do anything wrong and want to understand more.

20 COMMENTS

  1. My girl has been through a breakup just a couple of months ago. Hence she says she needs time. I too asked her head to head. Should I wait or not. She said “You wait”.

    • She has informed you of her thoughts and feelings. She is not interested in maintaining a romantic relationship at this time. Respect her feelings. Share your kindness and compassion with her. If she reaches out to you in the future, then speak with her about your thoughts and feelings at that time. Have a great day, Anoop!

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Please share more of your experiences and insights in the future. Have a great day, Sumone!

  2. i like my bestfriend she is in the same class with me i like her from a long time ago but there some boy who’s like her too i feel i can’t get her then i go i don’t want to see her again but she still talk with me in a while then i do not know what should i do again so i told her in the Whats app Messeger “I LOVE YOU” then she not reply my text then she reply my text we talk a lot there and tommorow i ping her and then she update status she said “SORRY IF THERE SOMEONE CHAT ME, CALL ME. SORRY I NEED TIME FOR DOIN’ SOMETHING” what should i do then? i don’t know should i text her? 🙁

    • It sounds like she is unable to respond on your social media program. Speak with her in person, as this will give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Make a decision about what you want for the future of this relationship. Nourish your friendship by spending additional time with her in person. Have a great day, Ahava!

  3. So me and my girlfriend have been not much on a rocky road lately and she was the thing she asked me to do out of irritation is not to let anyone know if we end our relationship I was cool with that but she started acting weird and so I reached out too her and asked her where did she see our relationship in acouple of years and it was positive she didn’t believe I love her and that I’m trying to hurt her like her ex’s and so I suggested for her some time to think on things was it the right step? I’ve been patient but and there for her the problem is that she pushing me away when I give her space she gets it too

    • She informed you that she was not certain about this relationship. She felt that you may hurt in the future. In response, you told her that she needed to take some time to herself. This likely made her feel that you were uncertain about this relationship. You need to make a decision about what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with your partner about your thoughts and feelings, and give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Devonte!

  4. I love this women and I’d do almost about anything for her the next day she leaves me a msg saying that she’s uncomfortable with having sex with me even tho she’s done it or we have but stopped near climax the thing is I never plan these things and she’s the sexual one I was going along with it because I didn’t want her to fell as she as she said uncomfortable and whole story of the last one it’s not that I’m unsure about the relationship me and my gf work together and I liked her first but she went out with my friend and so they broke up and ig I showed her a sensitive side of me and she she started liking how I am because she was beginning to know me for me and not what she thought of me she says she trust me but is scared not by my friend but her ex and so when I express my feelings she will hit me with that I heard that so many times she’s given me hell I told her I’m not leaving we’ve all been hurt from the person we once let in I’m not breaking up with her but also idk what to do ik I have to keep trying reach her but she’s one of thoughs give me space when I feel a type of way of if you mess up one time you can’t talk to her for a full day but taking three years off from a heartbroken life she’s the one I decided to be with when I got out of thoughs three years recovery

    • Your partner is no longer interested in maintaining a sexual relationship at this time. It seems that you need to make a decision about what type of relationship you want to maintain at this time. Speak with your partner about your thoughts and feelings, and give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Devonte!

  5. we were doing all good with this girl, but out of nowhere she stop chatting with me, and i ask for advice to my closest friends, we all thought it was the normal stuff like she wants me to start the conversation, one day later after i sent her my message, she answered that i didn’t do anything wrong at all, that she is is trying to figure out some things and that she needs time. I know that theres a big chance is gonna be a bad news or maybe i am making myself complicate, but the truth is dont know how to feel

    • She has informed you of her reasons for no longer maintaining your relationship. She needs time to look inward and determine what she wants for her future. Give her an opportunity to reach out to you. Do not reach out to her at this time. You will find great benefit in sharing your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life, as this will draw positive people and energy into your life. Have a great day, Alejandro!

  6. there is a girl I like and she likes me too, but 2 a 3 weeks later, she says she needs time because I’m 17 and she’s 14 and her brother is my best friend, but I don’t know if she’s really into a relationship with me. She says that I’m a really lovely person. I’m scared. I really like her a lot and her brother is ok with it

    • There are two issues that she may be dealing with at this time. Depending on the country that you live in, she may be aware of the social norms or laws that may prevent you from maintaining a relationship a year from now. Also, she may be concerned about how her parents may feel about your relationship. She has concerns about the future, and it is likely that she needs to address her feelings with you. Speak with her to understand her position, and the two of you should make a decision about what you feel is appropriate for the future. Have a great day, Stefan!

  7. So my girlfriend and I started dating right after she left her ex, who was cheating on her, I told her from the start, she should take time, but she didn’t, and we kept going, it was perfect for a while but after 6 months things started to get a bit rocky, we had some fights, mostly me worrying about her, and the way she was taking things, finally she decided to break up and she wanted to think if she wanted a relationship or not with me, I asked her “why?” And not even she had an answer, so I’ve been giving her time only writing to her when she makes a new art to compliment her, but I’m lost, and I don’t know if she wants to be with me or not, she’s indecisive. Should I move on or still have faith, I’ve been pure of heart with her from the start and I’ve tried to be my best all the time, I’m just lost.

    • She has spoken with you about her feelings. It seems that you need to consider what you want for your future and what is viable. If the two of you have a conversation about your relationship again, then be certain to give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. If your relationship is not viable, then you will want to keep this information in mind for the future.

  8. Need time to time And I need my space leave me alone. Take it as is over she have somebody else. Realistic it’s a 50/50 chance she’s need time to think or that she’s seeing’s someone else.

  9. I was seeing a girl for a long time. Initially I thought she was Into me. But we hardly met in college, it was mostly through texts. She also sneaked out to meet me at 1 am in the morning. Then one fine day, I confronted her through whatsapp, but she didn’t reply. I texted her again for a response after 10 days and she was like, she needs time to process it. What does it mean?

    • It is clear that this relationship is not viable. The last couple of times that you communicated your feelings with her, she chose to not respond to you. This means that she doesn’t want to maintain a relationship with you. Allow thoughts of her to fade, and focus your emotional energy elsewhere.

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