Our goal here is to help you make sense of what women are saying. Things aren’t always clear and simple; it’s very easy for people to send mixed messages. Then there are some messages that are pretty self-explanatory in most cases. Usually, this describes the words “I hate you.”
Good things rarely come from a girl saying those three words or any other variation on the theme. But if you came searching for this article you must have some reason for thinking that there’s more than meets the eye. So that’s what we’re going to try and find, every possible meaning that this message might have.
Just a heads up, don’t get your hopes up too much. Still, it is worth taking a deeper look. We’re going to ask you to look at your situation from a few different angles. Try to be as honest as possible with yourself, and you will come away with a better understanding.
Conversation is never just about the words being used; it’s also about how the words are being used. The words “I hate you” look incredibly harsh on their own but we’ve all seen someone use those words playfully.
Hang out with good friends long enough, and you’re almost certain to hear one friend saying that he hates the other. The key is that they say it with a smile on their face, or they start laughing soon after they say it.
If you’re communicating via text things can get more complicated. Ask yourself, what were you talking about before she told you she hated you? If you were joking and teasing her, there’s a chance she’s just teasing you back. But be careful, you’re always walking a bit of a tightrope when you’re teasing a girl and chances are.
When a girl says she hates you with a smile on her lips and a laugh punctuating her remark, then it’s not a bad sign. If she says it with an even tone and grim expression, then you need to drop to your knees and beg forgiveness.
Commitment changes things
If you’re on your first date with a girl and she lets you know that she honestly dislikes you, then you’re pretty much screwed. There are some true Don Juans out there who look for this sort of a challenge, but for most men, it’s a relationship death sentence.
Think of your relationship like a stock and think of time and energy like money. If you buy just one stock at a cheap price, you’ll have no problem selling it if things like even the least bit bad.
But if you’ve invested your life savings into a stock you’ll have trouble letting go of it even when things look dire because you don’t want to feel like you’ve wasted everything. People think about relationships in a similar way, if we haven’t really invested much into one it’s easy to drop it and move on, but once we’ve really dug in we find it hard to leave even when it’s clearly the right thing to do.
The longer you’ve been with a woman and the deeper your commitment is, the less likely it is that one “I hate you” will end things. Every relationship goes through ups and downs; those harsh words could signal the latest down for you and her.
What you need to be careful about is a pattern of anger and disapproval that can arise. One “I hate you” might be a freak occurrence, but if she keeps saying it then it’s probably the way she feels deep down.
Take a moment to think about where your relationship stands. Did this come out of nowhere or have things been rocky for a while? Think carefully, many men become complacent in relationships and allow them to drift apart. If this has happened to you then her hate might be terminal, but if you catch yourself early on you can make things right.
Things to look up for
Hate is a strong word, and a complex emotion. It comes in many different varieties. You might hate someone because they have harmed you and seem to have no redeeming qualities or you might feel like you hate them because you care about hem deeply and they’ve let you down. You have to look beyond the words themselves to see how your girl really feels. See the way she acts.
Is she always talking about you? It’s not a good thing if she’s complaining to all of her friends about you. Still, it means that you’re in her mind. You have to worry when she stops talking about you until then you might be able to salvage things.
Is she still in contact with you? Until a girl completely breaks things off with you, there’s an opening. She clearly still wants you in her life, even if it’s just so she can vent her emotions to you directly. What you need to do is catch her off guard and try to convert that hate into love. Or at least dull its heat.
This article hasn’t been terribly positive so far and for good reason. It’s hard to spin a message as strong as “I hate you.” But with that being said, there is one upside. Even if a girl hates you at least, she cares about you.
People tend to think as love as the opposite of hate, but that isn’t necessarily the case. The truth is that indifference is the farthest you can get from hate. Everyone in a friendship, family, and relationship spends some time wavering between love and hate. The blood runs hot when love is involved.
If you’ve been with your girl for a long time then hearing that she hates you isn’t the end of the world. That doesn’t mean that you can ignore it, it simply means that if you start trying to make things up to her now, you might be able to salvage the situation.