Human nature may not change, but technology has certainly impacted the way that we interact. Romance has always been complicated, but texting has added a whole new range of considerations into the mix.
Text messages can be confusing because they take away most of what constitutes real human communication. They say 10% of what we’re saying is in the words themselves and the rest is in tone and body language. While text removes these things, there are still other factors you have to consider, like timing.
One of the biggest questions technology has raised in the dating realm is who should text first, and when you should text. Men spend their whole lives debating when you should send a text after a first date. And now that women are getting more proactive it just makes things more complicated. What does it say if a girl contacts you first?
There’s no entirely easy answer to this question because her message depends on a number of other factors. But there is one thing we can say.
Understand that she wants to talk to you
Before we hit you with all sorts of complexity and layers of possible meanings, let’s get this out of the way. If she sends you a text, it means she wants to communicate with you.
Well, in most cases that’s what it means. If she sends you a text that says “I never want to hear from you again,” then communication is probably off the table. But if you got a message like that why are you reading this article? You should be searching for “what does it mean when a girl doesn’t want to talk to you?”
In 99% of cases, an opening text is meant to be the start of a larger conversation. With that said, she might have friendship on her mind, or she might have something more. To decide between those options, it is necessary to dig a little deeper.
See what she wants
She might be texting you because she enjoys talking to you or she might hope that the texting leads to something else. Of course, if she texts you to ask you to meet you for dinner and a movie then you’re good to go. But usually, women are a little more subtle.
Is she asking you for something? Maybe she works with you or goes to school with you. In either of these cases, there are all sorts of things she might legitimately want from you. Don’t look down on girls who need a favor, too many guys think that a woman who asks for anything must be using them.
Still, be cautious around girls who might use you. Watch out for girls who are always asking you for things and never give anything in return except patronizing compliments and empty promises.
These girls aren’t as common as some jaded guys would have you believe, but they still exist. Be on the lookout for girls who are too quick to flatter and just as fast to ask for things. If she doesn’t seem to want anything but your attention, then you’ve got a real chance.
Check out what she texts you
See how she talks to you. See if she laughs a lot or uses a lot of emojis. The wink emoji is especially potent; girls usually don’t throw that out for just anyone. A girl whose messages are upbeat, humorous, and flirtatious would probably like to get to know you better. The last element is the key, see if she tries to subtly suggest attraction, because otherwise, she might just want to be friends.
You should also watch out for image messages, if she tries to show you how she looks, then there’s a good chance she’s flirting with you. In that case, then you need to move on and try to start talking in person.
Make a move
It means a lot for a girl to make the first move, even if she’s just sending out a text. Everyone hates rejection, and because society tells girls that they don’t need to go after men, that means they have a built-in excuse. As a guy, you enjoy all sorts of benefits from society, but you don’t get slack here. You have to be willing to make a move.
If you like the girl that sent you the text, then you need to do something about it. The ball is in your court; you can either play the game or walk away. If you want to go out on a date with her, then start heading in that direction. If you feel like you already know her, then you can jump straight to asking her out, or you can continue to text for a while and try to feel out where she stands.
No matter what you do, don’t wait too long. Women might like to text, but if they like you, then they’d rather talk to you in person.