When talking to women you need to pay close attention. Too often guys think that conversations are all about the words. The truth is that even dudes use things like tone and body language to convey a message, so you have the fundamental skills you need to read women.
What you need to do is put in the energy to developing this skill. That means looking out for signals women might be trying to send you non-verbally, and one of the best signals to look out for is the wink.
The wink might be the most important tool in a flirter’s arsenal. It’s simple but effective, all you need is the ability to close one eye at a time and a sense of timing.
Of course, when it comes to every gesture you need to understand that there’s no one meaning. Everything depends on context. That’s what we’ll be looking into, how you can look at the context of a flirt to make sense of its meaning.
A Wink When Flirting
Think back to what she was saying before she winked at you. Was she making a flirtatious joke? Maybe it was a sexual innuendo. In those cases, a wink is a very good sign, it’s a sort of romantic punctuation point.
Watch any romantic movie and you’ll see this sort of wink. One of the lead character says something witty and sexy and winks. The other character swoons, they’ve been hit with the wink’s sexual energy.
Just remember that life isn’t like movies. If you aren’t sure that she’s attracted to you then you don’t want to jump to conclusions. Still, a flirtatious wink is a good sign and it means you should try and respond with your own flirtatious gesture.
A Wink Accompanying Physical Contact
This is a big one. If a girl is comfortable touching you then she would probably be OK if you returned the favor. When a girl winks at you while she reaches out and touches your body she’s practically asking for you to touch her back.
Of course, you still need to be careful. You don’t want to lunge at her and start treating her like a piece of meat. Touch her in the same sort of area that she touched you and do it very lightly.
Flirting is a bit like dancing, it needs to flow and move organically. A wink is still a relatively subtle gesture so you don’t want to jump to a drastic response. Girls appreciate a slow build, and the process allows you to make sure that she is consenting every step of the way. Keeping her comfortable should always be your first concern.
A Habitual Wink
Some women are very selective flirters while other will get fresh with just about everyone they meet. Before you jump to any conclusions it’s worth doing some observation. Watch how your girl acts around different people.
If she flirts and winks with every guy then you can’t really say you’re anything special. She might still like you, but the wink won’t prove anything. If she doesn’t wink or flirt with other men then you should feel a bit more special. Girls that are cold around others but warm up around you are clearly putting themselves out you.
In these cases a wink is probably an invitation to something further, although that doesn’t mean you should try to shove your tongue down her throat. It just means you should fight fire with fire and get flirty yourself.
Don’t Get Lost
If this is all making your head spin you’re not alone. When you first start to delve into every subject you’re going to have trouble getting the hang of it. But don’t jump to conclusions. Too many guys think that because women communicate differently from men that they are impossible to understand.
That isn’t the case, it just means you have to put some effort into understanding them. If you really care about a woman then it’s worth putting some energy into understanding her perspective.
With that being said, be careful about going overboard. Chances are the women in your life aren’t putting hours of thought into every wink. They might be operating on a different level than you but it doesn’t mean they’re superhuman. The best way to blow things is by obsessing and trying to wring incredibly complex messages out of simple gestures.
If you feel like you’re losing it then it’s time to step back, take a deep breath, and just assume she’s flirting with her. Next time you see her say something flirtatious, wink at her, and see how she reacts. If she smiles and flirts right back then you’re good to go.
If she pulls back and goes a little cold then you misread the situation, life goes on. You can’t learn how to talk to people reading articles, eventually you have to practice and take risks. We can get you started on the right track but you have to actually take some steps if you want to reach your dreams.