When you go out on a date, things happen. You flirt, you smile, and the best of all, you eat. Yum! Everyone loves a good meal! Anyway, when you’ve gone out and had your dinner, enjoyed each other’s company, and found yourself being dropped off at your door, you expect certain things to happen. The guy flirts, you flirt back. He leans in, you lean in too, then he softly kisses your lips and your foot pops up as you enjoy your moment.
That’s the way you picture it, right? Well, that’s not always the way it goes. Sometimes a guy will throw you for a loop after the perfect date and just walk away without that kiss, or even a sure-standing of where the two of you sit. When that happens, you end up spending the rest of your night wondering where you went wrong and how you can improve on your future dates in order to get the guy you want.
When that happens, it can be heart-breaking and nerve-wracking at the same time. In order to help you stop those pitiful circles that your mind is running in, I’ve asked a few guys to explain their running-after-dates behavior. This is what they said:
1. You intimidate him
He is unsure of how to proceed because he thinks you are out of his league. This leaves him in a frozen state of limbo because he is terrified of messing up somehow and ruining a good thing. He is so nervous that he doesn’t know what to do next.
2. He underestimates himself
He thinks that he couldn’t even possibly see himself landing a girl like you and doesn’t see the point in trying just to get rejected. We have all been there, so if he’s feeling this way, but sure to give him a lot of blunt encouragement.
3. He feels insulted
He’s chauvinistic and is insulted that you made the first move because he thinks that should be his job. If you’re getting this vibe from him, walk away because if you were to end up getting married, then he would never ever help you with the dishes or laundry; that would be women’s work.
4. You’re too easy
He thinks you are too easy and doesn’t want to get involved with you. Honestly, this is ridiculously rare and is a throwback to the fifties. Most guys nowadays will jump at the opportunity to get with you even if they aren’t really interested in the long-term.
5. There is someone else
That could be an ex that he’s not over, a love interest that he’s really into, or a girlfriend that is elsewhere and you don’t know about yet. Don’t push him or you may end up with someone you don’t want.
6. He is waiting for the right moment
When a guy really likes you, he may be waiting for his dream moment to make sure everything is just perfect. This guys just needs to be thrown off his game a little. Make the first move and knock him off balance.
7. He is worried about ruining your friendship
If this is his problem, then you must be best friends. Otherwise, a guy wouldn’t worry about such things as it is more typically for a girl to worry about losing a best friend.
8. He is not sure if you want to be kissed or not
If you have been throwing around mixed signals, then what choice does he have but to take it slow? Let him know what you’re feeling. Lean in first, or ask him directly why he didn’t kiss you. Clear the air the next time you talk to him.
9. He didn’t enjoy that date quite as much as you did
You may have been seeing the fireworks bursting, but perhaps he wasn’t. The cold shoulder might feel a little crappy, but at least it’s not the hump ‘n dump.
The next time you find yourself leaning against a recently closed door wondering what happened and how you misread the situation so badly, you will at least have a little info to go on. Just stop your head from spinning around and around and think back on the info you’ve gathered. Add that to a few context clues and you’ll have him figured out in no time.
If you lean in and get rejected, then you’ll be dodging a bullet because he’s not the one for you anyway. Always remember that any sexist tendencies of his will only grow with time, try not to find them enduring and just avoid the situation all together. Most of all, think of whether or not you actually want to be kissed. Beyond the compliment of being found alluring enough to kiss, there is a lot of stuff that follows and you need to be sure that you actually want that.