Home Love & Relationship What Does It Mean When A Guy Holds Your Hand?

What Does It Mean When A Guy Holds Your Hand?

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Hand holding is a very common way of showing affection for someone. Yet once in awhile it happens straight out of the blue, leaving us puzzled and wondering, ‘What was that all about?

We often hold hands with our parents, sometimes even after we are all grown up.

We hold our grandparents hands when we help them with something or they are wishing us well.

At times we will lock fingers with our best friends, just simply out of love and adoration!

Then there are those awesome times when a guy holds our hands. Usually it’s because we are romantically involved with them in one way or another.

But what does it mean if the two of you aren’t in a relationship?

Why would he hold your hand then?

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What’s the deal here!?

Don’t worry, there’s always an explanation for when a guy does something spontaneously.

Meaning it’s not quite as random as we think.

When a man holds a woman’s hand, there’s usually a good reason for it.

They don’t just do it because they can, but more like because they want to.

There’s several reasons for that.

To help you better understand why a guy is holding your hand, we must go through all the different types of hand holding there and what each one means.

Fingers Loosely Laced Hand Holding

So he’s holding your hand, but not in a very noticeable way, right? His fingers might be lightly laced with yours, while your palms aren’t quite touching and if you moved even a slightly the whole hold would fall apart. This is usually a very casual type of hand holding that guys do.



This is a gesture used when he is just starting to develop feelings for you.

You will often find this hand holding is done when the two of you are out in public together, but you have not made it official as a couple.

He is trying to avoid being too public with you.

It could be that he is simply not a fan of public displays of affection.

Either way he does not want people to notice that the two of you are holding hands, yet he wants you to know that he is trying to be close to you.

He definitely won’t mind if someone takes notice to what you are doing, but he doesn’t want to make the gesture prominent enough for everyone to notice.

Hand Brushing Not Quite Holding Hand Holding

When the two of you are taking walks and he brushes your hand ever so slightly, what does it mean? At times this type of contact can be very awkward.

You might find yourself questioning whether or not it means anything.

We’re here to tell you: It definitely does mean something!

He is choosing to let the two of you come into close enough proximity of each other to let your hands physically connect.

He may be too shy to reach for the strong hold, but he still wants to let you know that he is making an effort for intimacy.

However, if this type of contact is only done once and is never repeated, it probably meant nothing. It is a good indication that you are just buds if he accidentally lets his hand brush yours, but then he pulls away and doesn’t do it again.

You can be sure that if he does it every time you are side by side, he likes you and wants to be touching you. In a really subtle way.

Interlocked Fingers Firm Grip Hand Holding

Now this is the type of hand holding that calls for a celebration, don’t you think? When he locks fingers with you and doesn’t let go it typically means that he likes you. Especially if he does so when you are out in public together. This is a sign that he truly likes you as more than just a friend and he isn’t afraid to show it to the world!

He is letting you know that he is there for you if he tends to give you a few squeezes while doing so. It’s a quiet reminder that you have him standing by your side no matter what you are doing.

This is common in short term relationships as well as long term ones. This kind of hand holding is the ultimate bonding experience!

Grabbing Your Hand, No Fingers Laced, Very Quick Hand Holding

When he grabs your hand unexpectedly for a squeeze, but doesn’t lace his fingers with yours at all, it could mean that he needed a bit of support. This gesture generally comes when one of you are scared or just received bad news. He just wants someone there for him for a minute, so he feels supported or vice versa. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he harbors any emotion other than fondness for you. It means that he needed someone to be there for him and he chose you. These types of hand holds don’t last longer than a minute or two. When the news has passed or the situation has been processed, he will let go.

57 COMMENTS

  1. Wow. This really helps! My boyfriend held my hand for the first time but it was in public and in the dark. He first brushed my knuckles and I got confused as to why he was doing that then we interlocked our hands but he would squeeze tightly. I finally understand what it means now. Thank you!

    • Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Please feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Andrea!

  2. This guy I was seeing for over a month and had intimacy with hold my hands in the dark and kissed-me before he left that night he has never answered my texts after that night . I kept wondering why he held my hand this explanation has me confused now as it’s been 3 weeks and he hasn’t called or text me back
    I told him I’m moving on with my life but deep inside I can’t move on from him as I still want him what should I do ?

    • If it has been three weeks since the two of you last communicated, then it is likely that he is unable or unwilling to establish a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to attempt to reach out to him one more time, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he does not respond to you, then allow him to fade from your thoughts. Have a great day, Ann!

    • Send him a simple text that tells him how special he was. Like “I miss how you made me feel, you miss is handsom face or looking into his eyes and getting lost in them. Men want to feel like they are special. Pick things that you really liked about him and tell him you miss that.

      • Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Please feel free to share more of your insights and experiences in the future. Have a great day, Sandra!

    • He is married. Speak directly and honestly about your desire for him to stop kissing and touching you. There is no reason for you to continue this relationship. You may want to speak with his wife about his actions. Focus your attention elsewhere. Have a great day, Esther!

    • Don’t encourage him by smiling. Give him an unresponsive look and keep your distance. When he reaches for your hand pull it away, or keep them out of his direct reach when he comes near you.
      Like put them behind your back. As for his kissing your cheek; again keep your distance.

      If he continues to make unwelcomed advances after that. Tell him to stop because your are uncomfortable and met someone and are entering a relationship.

      Good luck

      • Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Please feel free to share more of your insights and experiences in the future. Thank you for supporting our community.
        Have a great day, Sandra!

  3. Ok there is this guy at my class that sometimes holds my hands and flirts with me and he got jelous one time when i told him about my ex boyfriend and i have been wondering what does this all mean…and he holds my hand in public ..

    • It is likely that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Tasnim!

  4. There is a colleague. First time he shake hands with me in public and kept holding it. Didn’t let my hand go.Then when I first time talked to him. He started staring into both of my eyes and kept smiling. I started to feel uncomfortable. So I left. Third time he brought a cup as a gift for me from another country. He asked me out once. I got nervous and i said ok have a nice weekend. He never text me but he reply me. He sent me his number when he went to another country for work. Does this person like me?

    • It is possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Tia!

  5. The guy I like and I went out to see a movie and get dinner this past week. After we’d eaten, he moved over to my side of the booth so that we were right next to each other. Kind of out of nowhere, he brought up my hand size (I have smallish hands) and compared his hand to mine. For a few minutes, we just had our hands pressed together like that, no interlaced fingers or anything as we kept on talking. Then he said, “I’m going to pull a Jenkins” with a smile before locking our fingers together.
    For background, we took AP Psychology together, and Jenkins was our teacher. The teacher once told us to try going up to random people and holding their hand as such. This was a callback to that day in class, and I’m not sure if he meant it only platonically or as a “I like you” thing.

      • It is possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. It is clear that he feels comfortable with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Anon!

    • It is possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. It is clear that he feels comfortable with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Anon!

  6. I spent New Years Eve with my childhood friend and he held my hand throughout the night. Sometimes it was necessary because the crowd was insane, but sometimes it was unnecessary because the crowd was loose enough that we could walk without getting lost. When we were stuck in the crowd side by side his hand still held firmly and we interlocked fingers too and he did give a little bit of a squeeze once in a while. I didn’t want to think too much about it because he’s a close friend but after reading this, I’m back to thinking about it.

    • It is possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Carey!

  7. So this guys says he likes me and I was sitting on my phone and he says to got into his room and I was about to win my video game and he held my hand and branch me to the room to play video games does he like me and should I ask him out or should he

    • It is possible that he is interested in a developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Kalli!

  8. I’ve known him for a couple of months now, we talk a lot but never in a romantic way. I started having a crush on him after a point but he never showed any clue that he wants sth more than friendship, even when we were alone. It was a few days ago at a party, we both had some alcohol and we went to sleep to two beds, one by the other just a few inches apart. 2 mins after we layed down, he reached my hand we we held for sth like 20 mins until I probably fell asleep, could it mean anything or it was just the alcohol ?

    • It is likely that he has feelings for you. He almost certainly did not want to abuse your trust and attempt a sexual interaction with you while you were drunk. This is a testament to his character. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Agna!

  9. What does it mean when a guy you talk to but are not in relationship with holds your hand at the movies. Holds it for a bout a minute but then let’s go . He’s done this twice. It’s really confusing and no I have never reached back to hold his hand.

    • This is a sign that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Jasmine!

    • It probably means that he likes as more than a friend.
      So my boyfriend and I have been holding hands for awhile now and today we where at school and we interlocked fingers and he saw that I was blushing and I could tell that he was blushing too so does that mean anything like does that mean that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but I don’t really know if he thinks that I don’t really love him so I am just going to ask him tomorrow morning if would has been thinking about if we are going to spend the rest of our lives together after high school if we are still going to be together after high school

      • Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights. It is always beneficial when members of our community share their supportive comments. You partner’s questions are indications that he would like to speak with your about the future of your relationship. Nourish your relationship by spending additional time with your partner in person. Have a great day, Leanndra!

  10. Hi I went out with this guy he was holding my hand everywhere even in car rides, he is a single father he works, goes to school and takes care of his daughter on certain weekends. I heard from him the next day but after I haven’t heard from him I am just wondering if I should move on I feel like the last time we went out we discussed certain things and found out we weren’t on the same page about but after he was still holding my hand even in the car so I am just wondering if I should wait or just move on if I haven’t heard from him in 3 days

    • Since you haven’t heard from him in three days, you should take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. If he does not respond, then there is a reason why he is choosing to not communicate with you. Have a great day, Janedo!

  11. Every time I touch him (he isn’t a boyfriend though). I just do and he grabs my hand. And hold it for a while in class. Sometimes he says my hands are warm and other times cold. He doesn’t it for what reason. And what could this mean. I just go with it. He might be a crush to me know but I don’t know what he thinks of me.

    • It is possible that he is interested in a developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Sam!

  12. I am kinda seeing a guy for around 2 months and we were on a couple of dates. I slept with him on the second date and I thought we are keeping it as a casual/sex buddy relationship since we don’t meet up often. He always hold my hands when we are together in private, at the same time he kisses my forehead, hair sometimes and also always have an arm around my waist or touchy feely (other PDA) in public (esp in the area of his company and house). But we have never held hands in public, until yesterday. This is probably the 6th date we have (including sleepovers) and when I already put my hands in the jacket pocket, he took them out and held my hand. I was confused and a little bit shocked. Also it’s a finger interlocked hand holding. I just wonder why did he do that? Aren’t we supposed to be in a casual rls and avoid any types of PDA?

    • It is possible that his feelings for you have grown. He may be interested in developing a relationship with you. There may be reasons why he is unable or unwilling to do so. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Tracy!

  13. We chat everyday ,he usually starts up the conversation and teases me,We fight but it was never been serious. He always ask me marry someone but he likes me ,He always hold my hands and touch them gently when we go out together.Im really confused does he like me as friend or more than that ? I think I’m falling for him .

    • It is certainly possible that he is interested in nourishing a serious long term relationship with you. It is clear that he feels a strong emotional connection with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Nancy!

  14. Over the weekend i went camping with a group of friends and this other guy came along. last time i saw him in a group, we flirted for the whole day but then i asked him if he wanted to catch up sometime and made an excuse as to why he couldn’t. He’s a very complicated person and apparently he flirts with most girls but is too scared to actually be in a relationship and commit so i brushed it off. However this weekend, i had no where to sleep so he offered me to stay on his mattress in his car with him. in the middle of the night he was awake and he was slowly moving his hand towards mine and playing with my fingers in such a romantic way. He eventually intertwined his hand with mine and we had a conversation and went back to sleep (still holding hands). The next day there was no mention of it but when we left i texted him later on and thanking him for everything he did for me on the weekend and said no problem. Then i said i this its really sweet that he held my hand and i got no reply. At this point I’m very confused and so are his friends because he has never done anything like that with a girl and now he’s back to being distant? I really like his but i don’t know what to do as i don’t want to push him and scare him away again but at the same time he probably won’t make the first move?

    • It is possible that he is a friendly person who views you as a friend. It is possible that he is interested in nourishing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Ruby!

  15. Ok so I had to do a dance with my class mates and there was four of us my crush was standing opposite my friend but swapped with his freind knowing he had to hold my hand he’s has been looking at me a lot but hasn’t made a move I really wanna know if he likes me and what the hand situation was about but something tells me his friends are the reason why he isn’t showing his feelings 😪

    • He is interested in developing a relationship with you. He may be shy or uncertain about your feelings, and that may be causing him to not reach out to you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, PomMel!

  16. he holds my hand tightly whenwver we still together…. keeps telling me how much he loves me….

    I’m not ready for it… I’m telling him… he’s not listening

    • If he respects you, then he will listen to you. If he doesn’t respect you, then break up with him. Tell him how you feel and be very, very straightforward with him. Guys are not always good with hints, so you need to be blunt. It sounds like he just really likes you and wants to be with you, so he does not realize that you are not ready for everything that he is. Talk to him again and see if it changes his behavior. Good luck, Ify!

  17. Theres this guys his my guy friend we arent all touchy touchy but one day he suddenly hold my hand and doing all the brushy kind of touches and some sweet stuff but when we got home i never got and messages from him im so confuse help me

    • It is clear that he shares a strong emotional connection with you. He may be interested in developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Jane!

  18. We’ve been friends for 2 yrs now. And it all started when we’re walking late at night in the park. It’s so cold that time, that’s why he held my hand to make it warm. But after that incident, everytime we’re going out in public, i notice that he’s always looking for my hands to hold it? I told him “you’re getting used to holding my hand!” but he didnt respond and continue holding it.

    I know we’re just friends and im starting to hate my self for searching possible reasons why he is holding me. WTF. Whats wrong with me. Lol 😂

    • It is clear that he feels a strong emotional connection with you. He likely is interested in developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Omg!

  19. There’s this guy and he broke up with his girlfriend today. After he did he held my hand in class. Does he like me or what does this mean? I’m very confused but so…

    • He has ended his relationship. It is possible that he is interested in nourishing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Decide if you believe developing a relationship with him immediately after he ended his will influence your relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Eliese!

  20. My best guy friend keeps on holding my hand ,interlocking fingers with me when we are together. I just don’t think about it too much if there’s a meaning behind it coz he’s my best friend. Maybe he was just too comfortable with me. I dunno.

    • He is comfortable with you. He likely feels a strong emotional and social connection with you. He may want to develop a relationship with you. Decide what you want for the future of this relationship. Decide what actions you believe are appropriate and acceptable. Speak directly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Charish!

    • It is possible that this person is interested in developing a relationship with you. The two of you hold hands. It is possible that he believes that you may be interested in a relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Be sure to give him a chance to share himself as well. Have a great day, Lynn!

  21. hey have frend we meat he sarted holding my hand while talking for long while we are talking but i dont now extaly what it means help

  22. So I just met this guy at school. He is in 8th grade and I am in 6th. His locker is in the same hallway, we have lunch outside together, share the same advisory together, and ride the bus together. But today, I sat in front of him. I had my hand on the seat, and he put his hand on mine
    And kept it there. I don’t know if he likes me or not. However, I have told him that I wanted to be more than just friends. He told me that he’ll have an answer for me tomarrow if he wanted to be my boyfriend. We’ve only known each other for a school year. Does he like me? What does this type of hand holding mean?

    • The two of you have developed a strong social and emotional relationship. The two of you share a lot of time together. It is likely that you want to nourish this relationship. His behaviors are indications are he wants to nourish a relationship with you. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Tess!

  23. I met this guy online we talked for a couple of months. From the first day we met in person he has been holding my hand everywhere we go.

    • The two of you share a strong social and emotional connection. Continue to spend time with this person. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Tab!

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