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What Does It Mean When A Guy Is Open To You About His Past?


When you are dating a guy, there are a lot of milestone moments that make you begin to wonder if you are seeing the guy. Some of those moments are very obvious, like the beginning, and your first kiss, others are not so obvious and sometimes, completely missed by you.

One such moment, is when a guy surprises you by opening up and telling you things about his past that he wouldn’t share with just anyone. At first, you may write it off as a way for him to keep up the conversation, but it means a lot more than that and the bigger the moments he shares, the more important it is.

When a guy decides to share things with you, it’s not like he is going to say “I’m telling you this because…” He is probably not even realizing that he has begun something new at that moment because, well, no one analyzes every moment when they are living it. Anyway, since it’s hard to know what guys are thinking without them telling it to us outright, I’ve asked a few guys to help me help you.

That’s right, I have asked a few guys to analyze their own actions and share with all of us the reasons why they suddenly decided to share their past. Here are a few of their answers:

1. He trusts you

This is huge for, well anyone, really. In reality, none of us trust easily anymore so when a guy decided you are trustworthy, it’s big.

2. He really likes you and doesn’t want any walls between you

This could be the beginning of something beautiful. If you feel the same way, share with him as well.

3. He is maturing and wants to be honest with you

Believe it or not, maturity can be very hard to find in a guy, so take it as a sign that you’re dating a good one.

4. He feels comfortable with you

This means that he is okay with being who he is and wants to share some more of himself with you.

5. He’s afraid of being judged

He is afraid of being judged by his past and is trying to get it out there as quickly as possible so that he doesn’t get in too deep and then rejected. Remember that everyone has done things they aren’t proud of and don’t be too harsh with him. He is trying to do right.

6. He believes in communication

Again, this is a huge sign that you are dating a good guy. Always remember to return the favor ad you will have a very healthy relationship.

7. He trusts you as a friend and confidant

Just because he tells you about his past, doesn’t mean that you are in a relationship. This is a big sign of respect from a guy, make sure you acknowledge it.

8. He is trying to impress you

As Ronald Reagan said, “trust but verify.” If he is just telling you things that make him look good, he may not be being honest. Don’t fall hard just because of a few fake stories. Trust me, I married one and it turned out 90% of his past was a lie.

9. He’s giving you a hint

He is unintentionally giving you a snapshot of what he may say about you one day if the two of you don’t work out. If all of his exes were crazy and he shares intimate details, you may not want to be with him.

10. He is trying to help you understand him better

We are what our past makes us. If he is telling you about heavy things, like past abuse, then he is explaining why he may act a certain way around certain people. If he tells you about a major heartbreak, he may be explaining why he’ll try to run when things get more serious. Listen well and file everything he tells you away for reference later when he confuses you.

When a guy tells you about himself, it’s because he wants you to know him in one way or another. They won’t just open up to any stranger, so make sure that you take a moment to appreciate that he did. Listen hard and make sure that you don’t pick up on any habits that you may not be ready to deal with, like trash talking exes, or describing their anatomy.

Grown men, especially, like to tell their sexual exploits to make themselves sound more experienced and worthy of you, but in long-term relationships, those stories can come back to haunt you. Always be prepared to stop him just in case you realize that he is about to tell you something you don’t want to know.

Most importantly, trust your gut. If your internal radar is telling you that he is not being honest, trust it. Remember that everyone only tells their side of the story.


  1. My boyfriend has been divorced for 10 years. He still says things like we when talking about his ex. Just yesterday he was telling my mom about a doctor visit and said my wife said this…
    He is 58 I am 54. We are childhood friends that just started dating 2 years ago.
    We both have separate lives, homes. I dont know what to think for months now. I want more.

    • It is clear that his relationship with his ex was an important part of his life. To him, his ex wife is still his wife from his memories. You are interested in maintaining a stronger relationship with him. Make a decision about what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Of course, you should be aware that he was married for a portion of his life and that relationship has certainly shaped his behaviors and thoughts. Have a great day, Diane!


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