When you’re dating a guy and he says he just wants to cuddle, all of your warning signs go up, and for good reason. We have all learned the hard way that no guy just wants to snuggle up with you; there is always an ulterior motive. The real question comes from figuring out why he is saying that he just wants to snuggle or worse, if he means it and why.
In order to figure out what their deal is, I’ve asked a few guys why they might elect to just cuddle with a girl as opposed to sleeping with her. Their answers were pretty interesting and spanned a large number of possibilities. To help you better understand what exactly it is he’s getting at, check out their answers.
1. He is a player and is setting himself up
He will just snuggle the first time you’re over, but the second he will make his move and claim it’s never happened like that before. You will know because he will suddenly stop texting you afterwards and disappear faster than Jehovah’s Witness at a Pagan’s house.
2. He is gay and hasn’t told you or hasn’t admitted it to himself yet
If you have been together several times and he has yet to make any moves, then he may be struggling with his sexuality.
3. He is the one decent guy in that half of the country
Seriously, there’s only one. Every guy wants sex all of the time so, if the guy you are seeing is okay with waiting and you know that he’s not seeing anyone else, then you’d better lock him down. That, or get him tested for STD’s.
4. He has strong feelings for you and doesn’t want to mess it up so he is taking it slow
This guy is normally struggling to not take it farther as pulling himself away at the last minute. He may ask if you are ready fifty times before he makes his move, but he’s still trying to make a move.
5. He is unsure if she wants it or not because he is shy, socially awkward, and inexperienced
He may have told you he’s inexperienced, or he may just be making very awkward trying to figure out where to put his hands. Either way, you should be able to tell that he doesn’t have a clue and is kind of hoping you’ll take the lead.
6. He is gaining bragging rights with all of his friends
If you know the same circle of people, then he may just be spending his time with you long enough to tell people he was at your place for a few hours. If everyone you see the next day is giving you knowing looks, then that guy is a jerk and you need to not waste your time with him anymore.
7. He enjoys the chase and wants the upper hand
Meaning, you going to him for it instead of him asking. This guy enjoying hunting for his next victim and will disappear right after you have become the new notch in his belt. Don’t beat yourself up too bad, everyone has been there at least once.
8. He enjoys having his pelvis against your butt and getting himself off that way
No matter who you are, rubbing your pelvis against something hard feels good. It is just the way we are made. Have no doubt though, this guy is still all about the endgame, he is just pleasing himself in the meantime.
9. He is getting what he wants elsewhere and you are just one of a few
It doesn’t matter what he has to say about this, if he is satisfied and it is not from you, it’s from somewhere else. Yes, he will swear up and down that you are the only one just like any other guy, but you aren’t. It’s like they were trained from the age of two to lie about this because they are damned good at it.
10. He asked if you wanted to “cuddle” but he meant, “let’s have sex but start out cuddling.”
For some reason, it’s always a surprise to us when their hands start wandering and we have to get that creeped out feeling. If you just know what he means going in, then you can shoot him down before he ever starts. Unless you’re wanting more.
Now you’ll have a better idea of his motives and reasons behind his actions the next time you find yourself with a guy saying he just wants to cuddle. At least you won’t be blindsided by his moves when he starts making them. Because, unless he hit a couple of those bullet points, he will make them. Just remember that you can always say no. It’s never too late to back out even if you’re already having sex.