You have been dating for a while, and it seemed like everything was going well. You are not sure if he is the “one” or not, but it is still a possibility. Unfortunately, he throws a wrench into everything. You wanted to just let the relationship unfold naturally, but suddenly he says, “I love you.” You managed to just nod or redirect his attention without responding, but now you are uncertain what to do. Or, you told him, “I love you,” back so that he wouldn’t feel bad, but you don’t really feel that way.
When a guy says he loves you, there are two ways to take it. Either he means it, or he doesn’t. If he means it, then he may just be falling in love faster than you do. He realizes how awesome you are, so he fell in love for you quickly and wanted to tell you.
It is also possible that he is not used to serious relationships, so he thinks that what he is feeling is love and does not realize that he should wait to say anything. If he just had a long-term relationship end, it is also possible that he is transferring his feelings from his last girlfriend to you. He probably does not realize that this transference is taking place, which means he is going to be a very confused boyfriend before long.
There is also the less common option: he doesn’t actually mean it. If he says “I love you,” too soon and does not mean it, it is because he wants something. Maybe you mentioned that you only sleep with guys you are in love with. Or, he wants you head over heels in love with him and is hoping that saying “I love you” will help. Whatever the case, he might be trying to manipulate you into doing, feeling or thinking something that you did not plan on.
What Should You Do?
First, you have to consider why he says “I love you” too soon. If you think he is genuine about his feelings and you are not the rebound, you have to decide if you feel the same way. If you are not in love with him yet, there is no pressure to say or do anything that you do not already feel. Be kind, but honest, with him. Tell him that you are not sure if you are in love with him yet, but you do like him a lot. Let him know that you want to keep dating him to see where things go. You just need more time before you can fall in love with anyone, and you do like him a lot.
If you think that he is trying to manipulate you, then your best bet is to run the other way fast. You might be dating a player or a narcissist—if you are dating a narcissist, check out our article on how to tell if your boyfriend is a narcissist. You do not want to be with anyone who would throw around, “I love you,” just to manipulate you.
Does He Really Love You?
At this point in the relationship, you barely know that you like him. It seems insane that he could already know that he loves you. While it seems unusual, it can happen. Some people just fall extremely fast. Plus, there is always a chance that he has had a crush on you much longer than you realized. If you have been friends for a long time, then he has had plenty of time to get to know you and fall in love with you. While you only recently realized that you like him, he has had much longer to sort out his feelings.
It is also possible that he is just someone who falls in love fast. There are people who instantly know what they want and how they feel. There is nothing wrong with falling in love fast or slow—it is just how different people respond.
There is always a chance that he is not actually in love with you, but does not realize it. Early in the relationship, people become infatuated with each other. The mind releases hormones that make you feel like you are in love. You won’t know if these feelings are true for months until the infatuation stage ends. At this exact moment though, he could be entirely certain that he is in love with you. Whether the feelings are real or not, he thinks that they are real. Be kind to him. You should certainly let him know how you feel, but don’t hurt his feelings or reject how he feels. He is certain that his love is true, so accept that love while you tell him how you feel right now.