Relationships are tough. It really doesn’t matter if you’re at the Brad and Angelina level, or Cinderella and Prince Charming, relationships get real, really fast. One moment you’re having your first date over a burger and some fries, and the next minute he’s professing his love to your utter dismay. Which is, of course, normally changed into appreciation, admiration, and eventually, love when you decided to hang around and test the waters.
Before your relationship gets into the heavy feels, it seems easy going, simple, and perfect. All of the sudden though, you’re slapped with a heaping dose of serious reality when he lets you know that he’s past all of the superficial dating scene and looking at you for a longer-term possibility.
If you’re anything like me, you try to run for the hills as soon as things start to get serious because, well, you’re just not ready for that level of commitment. But, if you’re lucky, then you’re in a relationship that makes you turn around mid-run and walk back to give it a real shot.
One of those moments that inspires you to wish you’d been working out for the past couple of years is when a guy suddenly, and seriously, tells you that he misses you while you’re away. There are a few meanings to what he said, and you know it when it’s serious. You know because every bone in your body is saying “run! No stay! No, get out while you can! Wait, what if this is it and he’s the one?” But, whatever you do, don’t lace up those running shoes just yet. It turns out, you may have him all wrong.
In order to solve the complicated equation of what a guy really means when he says he misses you, I’ve asked a few guys to explain. That’s right, no more unjustified panic attacks due to something he just threw out there in some kind of Freudian slip. Here are your answers, ladies:
1. If he texts, calls, and emails you ten times a day to say he misses you, then he either is lying for brownie points, or he’s just thinking about sex and ways to make you want him. He’s employing all of his chick flick movie-learned techniques to sweep you off your feet, which we all know don’t really work. If he were serious, he would be more emotional about it and he wouldn’t cheapen those feelings by driving you nuts about it.
2. If your guy is only saying that he misses you when you’re on the phone and you can hear that he is around a lot of people, then he may just be showing off the fact that he has a girlfriend. You can typically hear this in his voice because he suddenly talks louder and interrupts you to say things like “oh, I miss you too baby.” If he’s not actually listening to your words and projecting his voice for a two-mile radius, then he’s not saying it for your benefit.
3. If he is in contact with you all of the time while you’re gone just to see how you’re doing, then he’s seriously missing you and it shows that you actually mean a lot to him. He might even ask you to send him pictures of you. No, not naked ones, but during the day or snuggled up in a blanket at night just so he can see a new picture of you. He may be stalking your social media pages just to see your face and know what you’re doing. You’ll get an hour’s worth of likes and heart notifications on old pictures.
4. If he is a little jealous, but not overly possessive, then he’s fallen hard for you and wants to pee on your leg to make sure everyone knows you’re his. This can be really annoying, and definitely needs to be kept in check, but guys who are feeling so territorial typically only do so when they’re in love. Of course, there’s always the crazy guy exception which is when a guy is automatically territorial right out of the gate. When you meet that guy, run like hell!
5. If he’s drunk calling you at two in the morning to say that he’s missing you, then he is only thinking about sex. This is a well-known fact, but it bears saying because we all try to ignore this one from time to time. If he only calls you when he’s drunk, it’s for a reason. The exception to this rule is drunk texts that say something like “I miss you, I love you.” Those are more serious and things that he first lets slip when his filter is down.
6. He enjoys your company and is missing your presence in his daily life. Even if you’re in a romantic relationship, this could mean that he cherishes you more as a friend then a partner and that may be something you need to think long and hard about. A one-sided relationship is not something that will work out in the long run, but long-time friends have a way of dying within minutes of each other at the age of ninety-five after 70 years of marriage.
7. If he doesn’t tell you that he’s missing you, but his friends are saying that he is seriously wishing you were around and always talking about you, then you know that he is considering you to be a significant part of his life. When a guy can’t keep your name out of his mouth and is always finding ways to insert you into conversations, then it means that you are always on his mind. This is one of the many ways that you know a guy is truly into you.
The next time that your guy throws something as simple and yet complicated as missing you around, you should have a better idea of what it is that he actually means. Keep in mind though that your feelings about being away from him are just as important, and maybe even more so.
If you are not excited to hear his voice or read his next text, then you need to do some soul searching and perhaps be ready to move on. Holding out hope for a relationship evolving into something more only works for a short period of time and won’t last.
Not all guys are great at telling girls how they feel, but any guy’s emotions can be measured by their actions. If you still don’t know what he meant, then look beyond your conversation. The age-old wisdom says that actions speak louder than words and it is never truer than in a relationship. If he has been showing you zero signs of seriousness, then a late-night phone call did not suddenly bring it out in him. His motives lie elsewhere.
Whether your guy is saying that he misses you because he wants to look good, get you into bed, or tell you his true feelings, you already know what it is that he means. Just shut off your brain for a second, stop clicking on those relationship articles, and listen to his voice. Your intuition will do the rest.