Home Love & Relationship What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?

What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?


When you can’t stop thinking about someone, it can quickly become annoying. Whether you are thinking about a crush or really dislike your boss, these thoughts can keep reappearing when you least expect them. Because you think about the person so much, they hold an out-sized hold on your subconscious mind and may reappear in your dreams as well. From thinking about them constantly through the day to dreaming about them at night, you need to find a way to escape from these constant, reoccurring thoughts.

What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?

If the person that you are thinking about is your crush, then it probably means that you are interested in them. Chemical changes occur in your brain when you start to fall for a crush. These changes mean that you are thinking about them constantly and feel nervous when you are around them. Even if your crush does not like you back, it does not stop your thoughts from turning to them all the time.

What If You Don’t Like That Person?

In some cases, you can’t stop thinking about someone because you dislike them. For many people, this is a boss or a family member that just annoys you. Everything that they do just reminds you over and over again that you dislike them. Your mind goes into a frustration circle where it keeps returning to the detail that bothered you so much. Unfortunately, this type of thought pattern can become unhealthy. Before long, your constant thoughts about the person become obsessive and you can’t think about anything else.

Ways to Stop Obsessive Thoughts

When you can’t stop thinking about someone, then you may have a problem with obsessive thoughts. This type of problem is often addressed with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This type of therapy helps you to naturally channel your thoughts and change your normal behaviors.

One technique that is used is to imagine a large movie screen. On that screen, project the person or activity that you continue to think about all the time. As you think about this stressful image, suddenly tell yourself stop or have someone else say stop. This interrupts your thought patterns briefly. Doing it just once is not enough though. You need to keep doing the same process multiple times until you automatically want to say the word “stop” when you reach a certain point in your thoughts. Once you can do this successfully, you can start using the same technique in your daily life to get yourself to stop thinking about the one person constantly.

Do Constant Thoughts Mean That You Love That Person?

In some cases, thinking about someone all of the time means that you have some type of attraction to them. This is not always the case though. There are many reasons why you could find yourself stuck in thoughts of someone else. In some cases, you may even hate the person.

Other reasons why you cannot stop thinking of someone is because you are attracted to them, have fallen in love or hate them. They could be your mentor, so you think about them a lot. It is also possible that that person is just especially funny or interesting, so you think about them all of the time.

You are the best person to decide what these constant thoughts mean. If you feel like you have fallen for them, then you may be in love or have a crush on them. If you feel hurt when they are absent or wish that you could be around them all of the time, then your thoughts may be due to a crush. If you feel repulsed by the thoughts, then they may be due to a deep-seated hatred or dislike of the person. By analyzing the thoughts and how you feel, you can figure out what is potentially causing these thoughts to occur.

This person cold also just be someone who helps you out or who treats you like family. They could be someone who changes your life or motivates you to succeed. It is also possible that the person just appeared in the dream, and the dream caused you to think about them constantly. In some cases, you don’t even know who the person is. They could have been in the dream randomly, so you don’t know if they even exist in the real world.

If you dislike thinking about this person all the time, try picking up a hobby. Staying busy will help your thoughts turn to other, more useful topics. Watch TED talks, read a book or pick up a new hobby. Writing in a journal each day can also help you work through your thoughts and figure out what is going on. With enough time, these thoughts will eventually go away.


  1. I am a 66 year old male and have been single all my life. I lost my mother 21 years ago to cancer. We used to go camping every weekend with other family members and after she passed on, everyone went elsewhere. I had this crush on a 2nd cousin 39 years ago and the family thought it was wrong.So now I live and work in a hotel and our wait staff are these high school, college girls. Some whom I’m very fond of. There is one that is from the cezch republic and this will be her last year here in the usa. We go out for dinner, email each other quite often, only thing is, she is 25. There is another one who struck me as on a scale of 1 to 10 is a 10 plus and she is a junior in high school. I’ve been to her basket ball games, helped her when she works at the hotel,her school fund raising,I think about her quite often. There a few that I’m attracted to. This one that I’m fond of is 17. I would never have sex or touch any of these girls and they come to me for advice when they need it only because I’ve been in the business over 30 years. I have never been married,had one relationship that ended in disaster. So I am really very careful when I’m around these young girls. Most people think of me around these girls think that I’m ok. At their basket ball game I try to coach them, cheer them on, give them support. But this one girl, she must work out, because it shows and I think about her often. The other one is about the best basketball player that I’ve seen in years and a great waitress.

    • Your feelings are normal, and it seems as though your current behaviors are appropriate. Do not attempt to maintain a romantic relationship with anyone who is not an adult. When they become adults, determine if you believe your actions would be appropriate. If they choose to enter into a consensual relationship with you as adults, then the relationship is acceptable. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with them. However, you should be aware that they may not want to nourish a romantic relationship with you, and they may be uncertain about your behaviors if you attempt to maintain a romantic relationship with them. Make a decision about what you want for your future. Have a great day, Clyde!

  2. I lately started to think of someone quite often. This person is basically a colleague of mine. When I first knew them we were just as normal people and treated each other nicely like every colleagues do. We used to be in a separate places at first (I shared a place with their romantic partner who eventually quit less than one year after we started working together). We met the most when we drove away for outdoor activities with other colleagues. Then something happened and we had to share a work place for almost a year and a half. During this time I started to notice how badly this person is treating me. They would exploit every chance to hurt and anoy me their best. I even started to leave my place to escape thier horrible attitude towards me. I couldn’t understand why would someone be so mean to another with no logical reason for it. Anyway, after one year I had to leave to another work place for six months. I was really feeling pretty much good to be away for too long from this person and I was wishing if we could finally return to our normal previous places when I come back. (I have to mention that I held my behavior towards them as normal as it could be during that time. It was very challenging and difficult, especially that I am a short-tempered person but I managed to be patient and quiet). During my leave I had to contact with them once. It was through email to ask for their expertise in some issue for someone I know (honestly I wouldn’t contact them it, if it was for me). However, I wasn’t expecting for them to reply to me but they did with a positive response. Then when I got back it was for short, almost a week before I left again for vacation. I met them once and I was hoping not to see them at all, but they were there and I totally ignored them. I admit that I noticed they were acting normally as when we first met but it wasn’t really important to me. When I got back from the vacation they were away for work. This was such a relief for me though I got to see what they have done to my space while I was absent! However, we moved back to our old place and this time we become in separate places as well but we still share the same floor. A month later they came back. I was super busy so I didn’t meet them a lot. Anyway, I was very busy for almost 4 months that I couldn’t even notice anything unless for once when they acted carefully about something that regarding me. Then I started to notice a change in their attitude towards me. I wouldn’t say better but maybe they were a bit kinder and careful than they used to be. I was wondering what happened to them?? I thought maybe they hated it when I shared the place with them. I really couldn’t tell!
    Sometime after, we had to do some work together, it lasted for two days. In fact, I avoided being with them unless for necessity in the first day. Nevertheless, I had a sense that this person is miserable inside. We finished very late that day and we had to meet again less than eight hours apart and before sunrise next day. During that night I thought about them. I don’t know why I felt something strange about them. I felt they are so much burden with tiredness that’s unseen to others, I even felt a pity on them in my heart! The next day everything went well. I was unconsciously watching them. I guess I was trying to figure out who they really are?! Usually, this person is so much cynical almost about everything and everyone, they tend to be rough and nasty and they would laugh at everything very laud. I admit; I disliked them too much that I was wondering what does their romantic partner sees to hold on to them?! All I was seeing is a monster and in better cases a destructive person! However, the time passed that day and I was all about watching them in my mind while I was working. They seemed to me very sad and broken inside. I even out of sudden wondered if they ever had a family or someone who they really care about?! I think I started to re-evaluate them and my thoughts about them all that time. Because they were a great proportion of my upsetting mode through thier insensitive behavior. I was complaining to my family and friends about them. Now I am thinking differently and intensively about them I don’t know why? I even started to give them an excuse for their bad behavior, although I feel disgust when I think of it. I don’t know if they are still in good relation with their partner and I don’t honestly care. I failed to mention that they have a very nice dog that I so much like and he likes me in return. He likes to come and sit under my table and relax by my feet. I missed him so much when I was away. And always thought that his owner can’t break this bond between us because it’s pure. I don’t know how must I translate all this?! And I can’t understand why I even bother myself thinking about it!

    • Your relationships and thoughts are manifestations of the interactions and feelings that you have. You should take this time to make a decision about what you want for your future. Determine what you believe is appropriate or viable. You may want to allow people to fade from your life that bring you stress or negative emotions. It could be beneficial to focus your emotional energy elsewhere at this time. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion at all times. Have a great day, Star!

  3. I am recently on a work trip and always seem to run into this particular girl. It is a long trip and will be gone several months. I didn’t think much at first, until she ran into me while I was working on a job site. Later that day, I went to the gym to relieve the stress from the day and she was in the gym as well. I mustered up the courage and had a small conversation. I asked the questions, mainly, and politely introduced myself. She did the same and shook my hand. I was just finishing my workout and decided to go grab some food. She bid me a good night, to which I replied the same. I saw her again in passing at work and said “good morning” to her, now finally a bit more confident. I also saw her during lunch, although she was with some co-workers. It seems that no matter where I go, we always seem to run into each other someway, somehow. Ever since that small conversation, I can’t stop thinking about her. Just the small little details I had learned made me like her that much more! I don’t want to come off as pushy, nor do I want to seem like that “creepy guy”. I’d love to be friends, and would even enjoy the occasional conversation here and there, but I’m not sure if she reciprocates. What should I do?

    • The two of you run into each other often. It is possible that you are in her thoughts the same way that she is in yours. Take this time to make a decision about what you want for your future. If you believe that it would be appropriate to speak with her about your thoughts and feelings, then do so. Give him an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Joe!


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