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What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?

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When you can’t stop thinking about someone, it can quickly become annoying. Whether you are thinking about a crush or really dislike your boss, these thoughts can keep reappearing when you least expect them. Because you think about the person so much, they hold an out-sized hold on your subconscious mind and may reappear in your dreams as well. From thinking about them constantly through the day to dreaming about them at night, you need to find a way to escape from these constant, reoccurring thoughts.

What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?

If the person that you are thinking about is your crush, then it probably means that you are interested in them. Chemical changes occur in your brain when you start to fall for a crush. These changes mean that you are thinking about them constantly and feel nervous when you are around them. Even if your crush does not like you back, it does not stop your thoughts from turning to them all the time.

What If You Don’t Like That Person?

In some cases, you can’t stop thinking about someone because you dislike them. For many people, this is a boss or a family member that just annoys you. Everything that they do just reminds you over and over again that you dislike them. Your mind goes into a frustration circle where it keeps returning to the detail that bothered you so much. Unfortunately, this type of thought pattern can become unhealthy. Before long, your constant thoughts about the person become obsessive and you can’t think about anything else.

Ways to Stop Obsessive Thoughts

When you can’t stop thinking about someone, then you may have a problem with obsessive thoughts. This type of problem is often addressed with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This type of therapy helps you to naturally channel your thoughts and change your normal behaviors.

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One technique that is used is to imagine a large movie screen. On that screen, project the person or activity that you continue to think about all the time. As you think about this stressful image, suddenly tell yourself stop or have someone else say stop. This interrupts your thought patterns briefly. Doing it just once is not enough though. You need to keep doing the same process multiple times until you automatically want to say the word “stop” when you reach a certain point in your thoughts. Once you can do this successfully, you can start using the same technique in your daily life to get yourself to stop thinking about the one person constantly.

Do Constant Thoughts Mean That You Love That Person?

In some cases, thinking about someone all of the time means that you have some type of attraction to them. This is not always the case though. There are many reasons why you could find yourself stuck in thoughts of someone else. In some cases, you may even hate the person.

Other reasons why you cannot stop thinking of someone is because you are attracted to them, have fallen in love or hate them. They could be your mentor, so you think about them a lot. It is also possible that that person is just especially funny or interesting, so you think about them all of the time.

You are the best person to decide what these constant thoughts mean. If you feel like you have fallen for them, then you may be in love or have a crush on them. If you feel hurt when they are absent or wish that you could be around them all of the time, then your thoughts may be due to a crush. If you feel repulsed by the thoughts, then they may be due to a deep-seated hatred or dislike of the person. By analyzing the thoughts and how you feel, you can figure out what is potentially causing these thoughts to occur.

This person cold also just be someone who helps you out or who treats you like family. They could be someone who changes your life or motivates you to succeed. It is also possible that the person just appeared in the dream, and the dream caused you to think about them constantly. In some cases, you don’t even know who the person is. They could have been in the dream randomly, so you don’t know if they even exist in the real world.

If you dislike thinking about this person all the time, try picking up a hobby. Staying busy will help your thoughts turn to other, more useful topics. Watch TED talks, read a book or pick up a new hobby. Writing in a journal each day can also help you work through your thoughts and figure out what is going on. With enough time, these thoughts will eventually go away.

551 COMMENTS

  1. I don’t know what attracted me to this man, but about 3 months ago, was the first time I saw him. It was at work where we have streams of customers and I somehow was captivated when I saw him in the crowd. He wasn’t smiling and there was nothing particular about him, but all I could see, was him accompanied by the strangest feelings – a tightness in my chest, with a pounding, rushing through my ears. I dismissed it, until it happened every time I saw him or inexplicably thought or dreamt of him. I got to know his pattern and one day it changed and he said “hi”. I was embarrassingly a gibbering mess, unable to focus, responding with “hiyo” – hi/hello hybrid. This happened several times, but I also noticed he seemed quite shy and was somewhat nervous or maybe plain clumsy in our very brief conversations in which he never actually stopped; well apart from the day he dropped something, asked for my name (which is on my name badge) and introduced himself. Now I can usually talk as if it’s an Olympic sport, but become so tongue tied and completely forget words, let alone sentences and kick myself after thinking how I could’ve drove the convo further.

    I don’t know what this is, but more so what to do as I’ve never really dated before, having been in a long term relationship from an early age (17) and single for the longest time after it ended. I totally lack experience and knowledge in reading signs. I don’t care about making a “fool” of myself, but don’t want to make things uncomfortable for this guy if I’ve got it wrong or things don’t work out.

    Any advice would be welcome.

    • It sounds as though you are interested in nourishing a relationship with this person, though you are uncertain about which behaviors are appropriate. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Ensure that you spend additional time with him in person, as this will nourish your relationship. Have a great day, Mackenzie!

  2. This is regarding a long distance relationship. The guy is an Indian settled in Canada and I am from India. We met thru a matrimonial site. I felt there was something between us which was making me reach out to him from day one. i told him I liked him and he reciprocated my feelings. Also said he would date me. He was pursuing me. Than suddenly acted cold so I became needy and obsessive towards him. Suddenly he decided to cut his communication with me. I can’t stop thinking about him till today I start weeping as I miss him a lot. I really love him from my heart. he blocked me on what’s app and social networks. I am disappointed as he said long distance relationship will not work. How to make him understand that we can make this relationship work.

    • He has blocked you. He is no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with you. Allow thoughts of him to fade. If he reaches out to you in the future, then share your kindness and compassion with him. Do not attempt to reach out to him at this time. Give him an opportunity to determine what he wants for his future. Have a great day, Priya!

  3. So its been a while i have a crush on this guy
    Its more than a crush when i first saw him my heart was beating i was smiling like crazy and whenever i see him i get so nervous around him gosh he makes me go crazy with his innocent sweet smile
    Well his reaction towards me is actually the same he behaves shy and gets nervously but we would smile with eachother
    One time while i walking he saw me and gave me this big smile i never saw him had …
    But we never talked
    Always just smile at eachother but can’t talk to eachother
    I need help
    I think i like him ;(

    • You are interested in developing a relationship with your crush. It is possible that he has similar feelings for you as well. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you. Spend additional time with him in person to nourish your relationship. Have a great day, Bunny!

  4. So its been a while i have a crush on this guy
    Its more than a crush when i first saw him my heart was beating i was smiling like crazy and whenever i see him i get so nervous around him gosh he makes me go crazy with his innocent sweet smile
    Well his reaction towards me is actually the same he behaves shy and gets nervously but we would smile with eachother
    One time while i walking he saw me and gave me this big smile i never saw him had …
    But we never talked
    Always just smile at eachother but can’t talk to eachother
    I need help
    I think i like him
    Idk how i got attracted to him so much
    But he’s like a angel and damn my heart just goes off around him

    • You are interested in developing a relationship with your crush. It is possible that he has similar feelings for you as well. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you. Spend additional time with him in person to nourish your relationship. Have a great day, Bunny!

  5. Sooooo I have (or had) a crush on this dood, I already know he doesn’t like me because one of his friends went to one of my friends and said “he don’t like Aubree, she needs to stop being overly attracted to him and get over him.” When I heard that my heart froze for 5 seconds, and started beating really hard like it was about to burst out of my chest or something, since then, I say to myself I don’t like him I don’t like him I DONT LIKE HIM!” over and over until I cry. Which I never acted that way at all I really don’t know what to do idk if I like him or not I just don’t know what to do 😞😞😞😔😔😓….. also every time we lock eyes I feel happy and nervous at the same time which I can’t really control that action because my brain still feels attracted to him PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO IDK ANYMORE…….

    • Your dreams are reflections of your thoughts and feelings. Unless he has given you reason to believe that he feels this way, then your dreams are your personal fantasies. His friends have explained that he does not share your feelings. Allow thoughts of him to fade. If he reaches out to you in the future, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Be sure to share your kindness and compassion at all times. Have a great day, Aubree!

  6. Lately, — I think about this one person in particular. And I’m not sure wether it’s because I like them—or not. At times I’m wandering if I’m simply just romanticizing about them.

    I met them a few years ago—I think perhaps two or three. Though, I haven’t gotten in contact with them for over a year now. I’ve tried, but, they haven’t given any sign of being on that app no longer.

    About two-three years back; they told me they liked me. Or rather—I had a feeling/sort of was aware they did. (Which may be selfish, I don’t know), — but — at that time, I didn’t like them back. Though, I did find joy and happiness in talking with them.

    Now, I’m here, about two-three/one year later; thinking about them. I think about us meeting, about us doing things together, and so on. But most importantly:

    I think of us romantically. In a way.

    I can imagine myself in a relationship with that person—I can imagine myself being happy. I can imagine all of these things.

    Then, there’s this part of me that a) is in denial.
    I’m unsure of wether I have feelings for this person or not.

    Or b) it feels wrong.

    I don’t know why—I’m thinking it’s perhaps because of the fact that I consider myself homoromantic bisexual, (and yes, I guess you can say I just revealed their gender).

    Plus; in the past, I’ve had some sort of mental block telling me it was wrong to be with the opposite gender. I don’t know why, honestly.

    • Your feelings are certainly appropriate. It is likely that you are interested in nourishing a relationship with this person. Your feelings fall on this person often. You will find benefit in determining what you want for the future of this relationship at this time. Speak with this person about your thoughts and feelings. You will strengthen your relationship by spending additional time with this person. Have a great day, A!

  7. The person that I can’t stop thinking about is someone I met when I was a baby. I felt an instant attraction to him. As I got older the feelings got stronger. The only problem is that he says he does not feel the same. But there seems to be some kind of connection between us. Now he doesn’t even talk to me but I still cannot stop thinking about him. What can I do about this?

    • You have shared your thoughts and feelings with him. He has shared himself with you as well. You are aware that this relationship is not viable. It is possible that his feelings will change in the future. For now, allow thoughts of him to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Ensure that you continue to share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Jessica!

  8. Hi
    I can’t stop thinking about this guy. He told me he loved me and at that moment I didn’t feel the same way. At some point I found out he was busy with someone else I was hurt. I confronted him about it. He told me they weren’t dating she was just a friend. He also told me he doesn’t want to date no more, that hurt me because I was starting to like him. From there on, we stopped talking yet I cannot stop thinking about him. Could it be he’s thinking about me too?

    • He has informed you that he is no longer interested in dating you. This is likely because you informed him that you were not interested in developing a relationship before. If he is not speaking with you, then allow thoughts of him to fade. Determine what you want for your future without him. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Angel!

  9. well..there is this girl from my school..we started texted each other in 8th grade..and what i liked about her(not that i don’t now)was the way she talks and her thought process,basically her personality..so i started developing a crush on her in 10th grade..and after the final exams were done..in the summer break i confessed to her that i had a crush on her and she said i don’t know how to react and i said no need for you to react i just wanted you to know..later she went to another city in the same state for pre-college so there was very little communication between us and later i go into college(engineering) in other state and she got into another college(medical)..when i was in my 1st year we started talking(texting)again..this where i got too attached to her..and sometimes i would purposefully not talk to her for a few days to control my feelings…and last year i proposed properly to her and she said “no”…i always had that thought in my mind that she would say no..but i couldn’t keep the feelings to myself for all this time..so i finally proposed..i didn’t completely express how i felt(or feel rightnow)..so after the proposal thing i was depressed and was not myself for sometime..my grades fell that semester..i didn’t talk to anyone..and the situation continued for sometime and i got back up from that a couple months back..her birthday was a couple of weeks back and i never miss to wish on her birthday..so i started texting her again..and i fell back again..i’m at the point where i let go her do i hold on..i don’t think i can let go cause i wouldn’t be able to..and secondly i think i wouldn’t be able to find someone like her(speaking of which i would try to distract myself from by talking to someone other girls but i would never get the same vibes and i feel like they are not good enough compared to her)..and i can’t let go because i’m afraid that there’s no one else will make me feel this way..and i don’t think i will be able to hold on because this feeling makes me sad that we are not together(and we might not be at any point in the future) and regret not doing things that would make her close to me.. i just can’t stop thinking about her or stop caring for her..and after all this time i feel like i don’t know her,who she really is deep down..i would like know her better(and tell things about myself)..this long distance is just so frustrating..actually last year i wanted to meet her on her birthday i planned to go to her place but i couldn’t..i think that human touch is missing and that could a major issue in any real relationship..this thought comes to me everyday that as soon as i finish my college first thing i would do is that i’m gonna meet her and say all the things i wanna say.Look you probably think that why would you waste your time in someone not interested in a relationship with you and not focus on your career and also you have your parents,friends e.t.c..yeah i know i have family and friends,a career(which i’m taking care of too)..but i’m talking about a life partner and when i think about her it feels like she’s the one and i don’t want to miss her..there’s just so many thoughts..it would take forever talk about those..

    • You are interested in developing a relationship with someone to maintain a lifelong relationship. This person may be someone that you want to maintain a relationship with. You are aware of the hurdles that you would have to overcome to ensure that this relationship is acceptable. Determine what you believe is appropriate. Decide if this relationship is viable. If you want to speak with her, then do so. Regardless of your decision, ensure that you share your kindness and compassion with her if she reaches out to you. Have a great day, Karthik!

  10. The crush part is me I can’t stop thinking about my crush and we like each other but when we are near each other we are nervous and freeze

    • Your mutual behaviors are indications of your feelings for each other. It is possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Nourish this relationship by spending additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Elijah!

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