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What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?

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When you can’t stop thinking about someone, it can quickly become annoying. Whether you are thinking about a crush or really dislike your boss, these thoughts can keep reappearing when you least expect them. Because you think about the person so much, they hold an out-sized hold on your subconscious mind and may reappear in your dreams as well. From thinking about them constantly through the day to dreaming about them at night, you need to find a way to escape from these constant, reoccurring thoughts.

What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?

If the person that you are thinking about is your crush, then it probably means that you are interested in them. Chemical changes occur in your brain when you start to fall for a crush. These changes mean that you are thinking about them constantly and feel nervous when you are around them. Even if your crush does not like you back, it does not stop your thoughts from turning to them all the time.

What If You Don’t Like That Person?

In some cases, you can’t stop thinking about someone because you dislike them. For many people, this is a boss or a family member that just annoys you. Everything that they do just reminds you over and over again that you dislike them. Your mind goes into a frustration circle where it keeps returning to the detail that bothered you so much. Unfortunately, this type of thought pattern can become unhealthy. Before long, your constant thoughts about the person become obsessive and you can’t think about anything else.

Ways to Stop Obsessive Thoughts

When you can’t stop thinking about someone, then you may have a problem with obsessive thoughts. This type of problem is often addressed with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This type of therapy helps you to naturally channel your thoughts and change your normal behaviors.



One technique that is used is to imagine a large movie screen. On that screen, project the person or activity that you continue to think about all the time. As you think about this stressful image, suddenly tell yourself stop or have someone else say stop. This interrupts your thought patterns briefly. Doing it just once is not enough though. You need to keep doing the same process multiple times until you automatically want to say the word “stop” when you reach a certain point in your thoughts. Once you can do this successfully, you can start using the same technique in your daily life to get yourself to stop thinking about the one person constantly.

Do Constant Thoughts Mean That You Love That Person?

In some cases, thinking about someone all of the time means that you have some type of attraction to them. This is not always the case though. There are many reasons why you could find yourself stuck in thoughts of someone else. In some cases, you may even hate the person.

Other reasons why you cannot stop thinking of someone is because you are attracted to them, have fallen in love or hate them. They could be your mentor, so you think about them a lot. It is also possible that that person is just especially funny or interesting, so you think about them all of the time.

You are the best person to decide what these constant thoughts mean. If you feel like you have fallen for them, then you may be in love or have a crush on them. If you feel hurt when they are absent or wish that you could be around them all of the time, then your thoughts may be due to a crush. If you feel repulsed by the thoughts, then they may be due to a deep-seated hatred or dislike of the person. By analyzing the thoughts and how you feel, you can figure out what is potentially causing these thoughts to occur.

This person cold also just be someone who helps you out or who treats you like family. They could be someone who changes your life or motivates you to succeed. It is also possible that the person just appeared in the dream, and the dream caused you to think about them constantly. In some cases, you don’t even know who the person is. They could have been in the dream randomly, so you don’t know if they even exist in the real world.

If you dislike thinking about this person all the time, try picking up a hobby. Staying busy will help your thoughts turn to other, more useful topics. Watch TED talks, read a book or pick up a new hobby. Writing in a journal each day can also help you work through your thoughts and figure out what is going on. With enough time, these thoughts will eventually go away.

473 COMMENTS

  1. I’ve known this girl for years. We’ve never been romantic on account of her unreliable personality. We both share an intense emotional connection. Months ago we stopped talking due to the previously stated issue, and since then I’ve had to work 12 hour shifts to keep her out of my head. But still, once every few weeks ill break down on the way home from work. And i rarley get emotional. I want to move on with my life, Advice?

    • You are aware that you share an intense emotional connection, and it seems like you still think about this person because of your previous relationship. The two of you have decided to end your relationship. You took on extra work to prevent yourself from thinking about her. These behaviors are indications that you are no longer interested in maintaining a relationship a relationship with her. Allow thoughts of her to fade and focus your attention elsewhere. Have a great day, Jordan!

  2. I’ve been constantly thinking about this guy I had summer lessons with and I think I already like him or I’m having a crush on him but I don’t know if he feels the same way just because we don’t talk. I don’t know the reason why we don’t even talk to each other. Maybe he’s waiting for me to start talking to him and I’m waiting for him to start talking to me. As our lessons ended recently, I never stopped thinking about him. Up until now, I can’t get him off of my mind.

    • You feel a strong emotional connection with this person. It is possible that he has been thinking about you as well. It is likely that the two of you spent time together in an exciting environment. This is likely what influenced your thoughts. Determine what you want for this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Kaye!

  3. I hooked up with this guy at a party and we met again after a day at a club. His friend told me that the guy really liked me and I should not break his heart. I don’t know why he didn’t tell me himself that he liked me.I just thought he was a bit shy and unsure of how to tell me. We kept in touch after that but I was always the first one to text and call. I knew I had already fallen for him. I told him I liked him, over a text. He told me he liked me back. It was a bit awkward after that coz we don’t talk much anymore. I can’t stop thinking about him and I doubt if he really likes me though he already texted me that. Maybe he was just being polite or he did but not anymore. I’m confused. I wish I could get over him.

    • His friend spoke to you about the person that you were developing a relationship with. This means that it is likely that the guy that you like may have been interested in developing a relationship with you. It is possible that he is shy. It is likely that he was uncertain or confused about your feelings. Time passed and the two of you reduced communication. Determine what you want for your future and take appropriate actions. Have a great day, Kayla!

  4. we’ve been engaged for 3 years and that romance is wonderful…then all of the sudden trials came.had some arguments…then she finally i dont walk to talk to you….no explanation. i keep on calling and texting her. reached our common friends and her family. t jhoaana en later on I found out she has a new BF….its very hard for me to accept..but i have to..for 3 months i keep on thinking her…every minute even busy at work. while driving i tried to get busy but from time to time it keeps on popping…..I know she will not comeback. do you think she is still thinking on me? please help me to forget her also. tough time… thanks more power

    • She decided that she was no longer interested in developing a relationship with you. She is no longer communicating with you. She is in a new relationship. Do not attempt to damage her relationship. Allow thoughts of her to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Tim!

  5. I have this person who guides me from my work. We never meet. We only talk through the phone and emails purely about work and no personal connections.. Until I got this mind of always thinking about him.. I even stalked him through social media, (though were not friends nor followers). I tested if i am falling in love with him but I am pretty sure I am not. We are both happily married.. I hated it because he is constantly in my mind from waking up until I go to sleep.. I want to stop this thought of him that I planned to quite the job. Please help me.

    • The two of you share an intellectual and social relationship. This relationship is acceptable, as the two of you are not flirting. You are in a relationship and so is he. Do not attempt to develop a romantic relationship with him, Focus your emotional energy on your current partner. Continue to speak with him about work. Have a great day, Keri!

  6. I built a friendship with a guy that I met through my sister. After one year of knowing eachother, I began to have feelings for him, but he had a girlfriend when I acknowledged these feelings. They broke up and I would try to make him feel better since he is my friend. I would have emotional breakdowns and he would be someone I thought of for comfort, and I decided to finally tell him I liked him with a text. He responded and we decided to stay friends, but one week later he confessed he had feelings for me. Ever since I have felt bad and my self-esteem has lowered even more. Could you help?

    • You shared your thoughts and feelings and he did know share his thoughts correctly. He reached out to you to share his true thoughts and feelings. You are uncertain about your feelings. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. You will find great benefit in speaking with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Lynn!

  7. My first exhusband has been on my extremely strong. To the point that I can feel him right next to me. Everytime he shows up. I get really nervous. Me and him have been divorce over 35 years now and separated over 37 years. I have been married twice since then. But niether of my last two marriages have lasted very long. What’s really strange is that the night before Thanksgiving his step daughter message me and asked me to give him a call the next day. I still don’t know why.

    • Your step daughter asked you to speak with her father because of her emotional connection with you. It is possible that your ex husband has been thinking about you. Your step daughter’s actions likely influence your dreams. Determine what you want for your future. Only reach out to your ex husband if you want to develop a relationship with him. Have a great day, Betty!

  8. I met this guy. He seems really great. I haven’t known him for that long. Maybe a month or so. I can’t stop thinking about him. I was thinking about him a lot before we ever began “talking”, but now it’s constant now that we do talk. He seems to be everything I’ve ever wanted in a person. Idk I’m trying to find an understanding why I can’t get him out of my head. I feel like I could potentially love him but is it even too soon to say that. Idk…help me out…. BTW he tells me he thinks of me constantly too. I’d like to think the feeling is mutual to make it less crazy. It just all seems so insane. This has been so unexpected.

    • These thoughts are reflections of your emotional connection with this person. The two of you think about each other often. This means that he likely feels a strong connection with you as well. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Rae!

  9. I’ve been friends with this guy I know for about 9 years we have always had these intense moments where we can’t help but stare into each other’s eyes. The connection is undeniable. Last year after careful consideration I decided to tell him I was in love with him. He said prove it! So I did I went to his house and told him in person. We spent the rest of the night together. This happened 3 times now we barely ever speak and I can’t get him out of my mind. He will talk to me once a month and hint towards him having feelings and then shut down I don’t get it.

    • There may be a variety of reasons behind his actions. He may be confused or uncertain about his feelings. He feels a strong emotional connection with you. The two of you enjoy each other’s company. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings when you see him in person next. It is likely that he will be receptive when you speak with him. Have a great day, Lynn!

  10. I fell in love when I was just 12 now I’m 24. 3 years ago we stopped talking and I dont think I’m ever going to stop thinking about her. She was my best friend and my soulmate. She pops up randomly in my head. Driving, eating, even talking to someone. And at the end of the day it makes me super depressed. I tried getting in a relationship but it didn’t work. Am I doomed for life?

    • You are not doomed. You feel sad because you are no longer in a relationship with someone that you felt such a strong emotional connection with. If this person is your soul mate, then you will come in contact with her in the future. At this time, focus your emotional energy elsewhere. If she reaches out to you, then share your kindness and compassion with her. Have a great day, Yena!

  11. Ok I Haven’t Known This Guy For Very Long But I Really Have This attachment With This Guy He Makes Me Feel Special He Makes Me Feel Different And Beautiful Because Before I Meant Him I Felt Unwanted And Ugly I Really Love Being Around Him He Is Always On My Mind I Fantasize About Him And Everything It All Feel So Unreal I Never Felt Like This I Might Even Love Him….

    • These thoughts are reflections of your emotional connection with this person. You feel comfortable and happy with him. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share his thoughts and feelings with you. You will find that your relationship with strengthen as you spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Liyah!

  12. I keep thinking of this guy who is older than me. He is single & sometimes flirts with me and I don’t know how to react. I alsofelt jealous when he was with someone else, however I can’t see myself with him. I feel that it may cause complications as he is an in law of the family. I am in my 40’s and have been single for a while so am not sure what to do. I don’t know why he is always on my mind, it is making me crazy!

    • Determine if you believe that this relationship is appropriate and viable. These relationships often develop, as you feel a social and emotional connection with this person. Speak with your family about your thoughts and feelings. If they approve of the relationship situation, then perhaps attempt to spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Tyger!

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