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What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?

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When you can’t stop thinking about someone, it can quickly become annoying. Whether you are thinking about a crush or really dislike your boss, these thoughts can keep reappearing when you least expect them. Because you think about the person so much, they hold an out-sized hold on your subconscious mind and may reappear in your dreams as well. From thinking about them constantly through the day to dreaming about them at night, you need to find a way to escape from these constant, reoccurring thoughts.

What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?

If the person that you are thinking about is your crush, then it probably means that you are interested in them. Chemical changes occur in your brain when you start to fall for a crush. These changes mean that you are thinking about them constantly and feel nervous when you are around them. Even if your crush does not like you back, it does not stop your thoughts from turning to them all the time.

What If You Don’t Like That Person?

In some cases, you can’t stop thinking about someone because you dislike them. For many people, this is a boss or a family member that just annoys you. Everything that they do just reminds you over and over again that you dislike them. Your mind goes into a frustration circle where it keeps returning to the detail that bothered you so much. Unfortunately, this type of thought pattern can become unhealthy. Before long, your constant thoughts about the person become obsessive and you can’t think about anything else.

Ways to Stop Obsessive Thoughts

When you can’t stop thinking about someone, then you may have a problem with obsessive thoughts. This type of problem is often addressed with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This type of therapy helps you to naturally channel your thoughts and change your normal behaviors.



One technique that is used is to imagine a large movie screen. On that screen, project the person or activity that you continue to think about all the time. As you think about this stressful image, suddenly tell yourself stop or have someone else say stop. This interrupts your thought patterns briefly. Doing it just once is not enough though. You need to keep doing the same process multiple times until you automatically want to say the word “stop” when you reach a certain point in your thoughts. Once you can do this successfully, you can start using the same technique in your daily life to get yourself to stop thinking about the one person constantly.

Do Constant Thoughts Mean That You Love That Person?

In some cases, thinking about someone all of the time means that you have some type of attraction to them. This is not always the case though. There are many reasons why you could find yourself stuck in thoughts of someone else. In some cases, you may even hate the person.

Other reasons why you cannot stop thinking of someone is because you are attracted to them, have fallen in love or hate them. They could be your mentor, so you think about them a lot. It is also possible that that person is just especially funny or interesting, so you think about them all of the time.

You are the best person to decide what these constant thoughts mean. If you feel like you have fallen for them, then you may be in love or have a crush on them. If you feel hurt when they are absent or wish that you could be around them all of the time, then your thoughts may be due to a crush. If you feel repulsed by the thoughts, then they may be due to a deep-seated hatred or dislike of the person. By analyzing the thoughts and how you feel, you can figure out what is potentially causing these thoughts to occur.

This person cold also just be someone who helps you out or who treats you like family. They could be someone who changes your life or motivates you to succeed. It is also possible that the person just appeared in the dream, and the dream caused you to think about them constantly. In some cases, you don’t even know who the person is. They could have been in the dream randomly, so you don’t know if they even exist in the real world.

If you dislike thinking about this person all the time, try picking up a hobby. Staying busy will help your thoughts turn to other, more useful topics. Watch TED talks, read a book or pick up a new hobby. Writing in a journal each day can also help you work through your thoughts and figure out what is going on. With enough time, these thoughts will eventually go away.

96 COMMENTS

  1. My ex recently broke my heart nearly six months ago he’s just constantly on my mind I find myself stuck just thinking of the past I don’t know what’s wrong sometimes I feel like he’s trying to reconnect with me but then again I’m not sure but it’s to the point now where is unbearable it’s like no matter what I do he always finds a way to pop back in my head

    • If he treated you without respect, then continue to keep him out of your life. Allow these thoughts of him to fade. There is no reason for you to develop a relationship with someone who chooses to hurt you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. A new opportunity will become available in time. Have a great day, Celeste!

    • I know what you mean I am having feeling the same way. We didn’t end on bad terms just that her family was going through some things.

      • Thank you for sharing your experiences. Feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Daniel!

  2. My ex lives with me & she’s constantly on my mind but she moved on. She’s currently dating someone but she still mess around with me. I don’t want to continue doing this

    • It sounds as though you have made a mature decision. You have decided to no longer continue this relationship. Do not continue to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. If she is in a relationship, then explain to her that you do not want to continue to be physically involved with her. Speak directly and honestly with her about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Lexis!

  3. Please help me ,what can I do ,i have fallen in love with someone and he also said he likes me but It’s only me who text him,or call him,he never sometimes he takes the whole day or more without replying me or picking my calls ,I can’t stop thinking about him every second and i am loosing my mind ,what should I do maybe to take him out of my mind

    • He may be uncertain or confused about his feelings toward you. Continue to speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. You may want to spend additional time with him in person. Take this time to determine if you want to continue to develop your relationship with this person. Allow him to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Alice!

  4. I recently met someone at work. And she seems to like me alot. Always wants to talk to me will sometimes come over while I’m working to be around me as my friend said to me. Then I messaged her a few times on facebook and we had long conversations once in awhile on there. Then we hung out 3 days straight at a convention we both went too. And she never left with her friends she always hung around me and talked with me. Then a few days later I decided I’d ask her on a date, and I started by saying do you want to hang out and by that I mean a date, and being nervous on what she would say next I then went on to say or just hang out as friends. She then said she’d like to hang out as friends for now. And now I can’t stop thinking about her because I’m worried on what happens next. Cause I just really enjoyed being around her and I want to keep doing it. So I can’t tell if it’s a crush I have or more than that, and if she might have a crush as well. Also I’m new to the dating scene.

    • She has made her feelings clear. Continue to remain friends with her at this time. Share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. This will influence your life in a positive direction. Spend additional time with her. As this will help to develop her feelings toward you. Have a great day, Jason!

  5. I have fallen in love with the plastic surgeon who botched my nose. I thought after my revision to repair my nose, I would stop thinking about him. He is on my mind 24/7 and it is driving me mad. I seriously fell in love with him around a year ago, but I only found out approximately 3-4 months ago that he is happily married with 2 children. I feel guilty every time I think of him because he is married. I feel like a terrible human being.

    I know this is going to sound weird, but I am in my thirties and never had a ‘crush’ on anyone in my life.
    This man has to be one of the nicest people I have ever met. I honestly love EVERYTHING about him. He’s kind, sincere, polite, respectful, caring, sweet, pleasant, generous (he supports his poor relatives), educated, well mannered,intelligent, extremely handsome, a vegetarian, non smoker, not into tattoos.
    He is the perfect man.

    He is on my mind literally all day. Honestly, I know that I will never meet a better man.
    I really wish he wasn’t married. On top of all this, he lives in another country.

    I feel as thought fate brought us together. If he had never botched my nose, I would never have come to know about what a fantastic man he is.

    I really wish I could stop thinking about him because he’s a happily married man and I feel terrible for my impure thoughts. This is the first man in my entire life whom I absolutely adore with all my heart.

    • He is happily married, as you have mentioned in your own words. He lives in another country. There is no reason for you to attempt to develop a relationship with him. Do not reach out to him and do not attempt to damage his relationship. Take this time to focus on your life and the relationships that you currently have. Establish a new relationship if you are interested in developing a strong emotional connection. Good day, Hardlife!

    • Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to reach to him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him a chance to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Briza!

  6. I think about a ex guy friend i used to talk to and i think about him constantly and i like him but we dont talk to each other

    • Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to reach to him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him a chance to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Briza!

  7. I can’t seem to get my ex off my mind. We dated when I was a teenager.I’ll be 24 next week. I moved away and we lost touch we got back in touch earlier this year. His family is racist so we had to keep it a secret then and earlier this year. I broke it off a couple months ago because im tired of hiding. Now as well as all the years up til now he’s always popping up in my mind. I dont know if I need closure or if there’s still hope. We always seem to reach out to one another whether its something big or small. Tell me I’m not crazy or wasting my time because after 6-7 years I still cant seem to let go

    • It is possible that he has matured since that time. His family may have grown in character as well. Take this time to determine if you want to develop a relationship with him. If you do, then speak directly and honestly with him about his thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Ann!

  8. I met this guy at this party almost a year ago and he’s been in my mind ever since. When we met at the party he did show interest in me but somehow at the end of the night we didn’t exchanged information. I did however get his Instagram but I was so into him I would check it almost everyday so I unfollowed him due to my pride. Few weeks went by and I discovered it again. He actually liked a couple of my photos and for atleast 3 months liking eachother photos is the most we ever communicated. I just can’t get over the night we shared and it’s been almost a year and I’m still obsessing. I don’t want to dig into something that’s not there but multiple times he stated “I will never chase anyone” and I’m assuming he’s referring to me. My question is what does it mean when I can’t stop myself from reminiscing about this guy and the night we had? I didn’t crush over him till I noticed him crushing over me when we met at the party. I’m reaching so much and I want to believe it’s fate because we live in the same area and have the same circle of friends but somehow we never hung out after that or shared a regular conversation.

    • Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to develop a relationship with his person, then reach out to him. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. You will find benefit in spending additional time with him as well. Have a great day, Diana!

  9. I’m a guy who met this other guy. I feel very happy with him everytime we talk and hang out, I feel like I want to be with him all the time because I just really enjoy being with him, and I think he does too.

    However, I don’t feel romantically attracted to him at all. I just really want to be his friend. Sadly we cant see each other very often (once in a few weeks), and when we’re not together, he’s still on my mind very often. Is it common to feel something like this for friends? Everytime I look this up, people seem to be talking about having romantic crushes but I just want it to be platonic.

    • It sounds as though the two of you have a strong relationship. It is clear that the two of you care for each other. Always treat him with kindness and compassion. Treat everyone in your life with kindness and compassion, and you will find that positive events and individuals will enter into your life. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, John!

  10. Me and my ex have been broken up for 4 months now. About to months ago. She started seeing someone else.i didnt want to lose this girl so it sent me in a panic i tried to win her back. Wrong move. I love the girl and always invisioned a future with her. But during those months i didnt put my focus into her when she was still so what interested. I dealt with other women had sex. She told me recently they were intimate. She told me after the act she cried and felt gulit. She has feelings for the both of us. But more so him bc they did have sex she feels she needs to see where things go with or she could just be interested in him more. But if she was why would she still call me and text me let me come over etc out of guilt ? . No we havent had sex or anything. But thats bc she told me she doesnt want to back between men. I was this girl first relationship sexual enconter we were together for roughly a year and a half. I never was fully comminted to just her. But i did want her. Being selfish. I cant stop thinking bout her. Recently i changed my number and decide to do no contact rule. Please tell me these feelings will go away.

    • It is positive that you have learned from your mistakes. Take this time to allow these feelings to influence you in a positive direction. Treat everyone in your life with kindness and compassion. This will help you increase the amount of positive energy in the world. It will also help to reduce these negative emotions. Have a great day, Frederick!

  11. I have had constant drams of A lad I like for about two weeks I have also constantly thought of this is their any other techniques to stop this. Please.

    • These dreams are reflections of your emotional connection with this person. Take this time to determine if you want to develop a relationship with this person. If you do, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. If not, then allow these thoughts and dreams to fade. Have a great day, Elania!

  12. I’m only 14 so I don’t really have a say on any of this but I used to sort of date this girl we just hung out a lot and both said we liked each other and I really enjoyed her company. She did how ever end things and it’s now been over a year and I still talk to her on text but I’m constantly dreaming about her and thinking about her. Am I a creep for this?

    • You are not a creep for having thoughts or dreams. Allow these thoughts to fade, but let them influence you in a positive direction. Treat everyone in your life with kindness and compassion. There is no reason for you to reach out to your ex, as the two of you have decided to end your relationship. If she reaches out to you and you are interested in developing your relationship, then speak with her. Have a great day, Anon!

  13. I dream about the same guy all the time, different scenario each time.I get nervous when he’s around, but in my dreams , I’m with him .one dream was ,we were speaking on the phone and he said he loved me.another dream was he came over and I cooked for him.it’s all the time I dream about him.

    • These dreams are reflections of your desire to establish a relationship with this person. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to develop a relationship with him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him the opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Tiffany!

  14. I had a music teacher for 8 years from middle school up to highschool and I was totally normal with being around with during middle school, but then freshmen year came and I had a new teacher. I began to miss my old teacher sooooo much but mainly because we was just more interesting, younger and could make me laugh endlessly. Like sometimes I would laugh to the point of wanting to cry. ( even thinking of this man causes me smile like a freak) but yeah so then sophomore year he moved up to the high school & I had him as a teacher again!! Fucking rad I know. But then all of a sudden I think my teenager hormones kicked in and I suddenly formed a major crush on him. It was so awkward and I couldn’t even breathe when I was around him. I couldn’t make eye contact…. I would blush 24/7 and even twitch sometimes like literally my body would be so nervous that I would TWITCH. I knew he could tell too and probably other students as well, so that gave me major anxiety! LOL. But my point here is that I wouldn’t even care about all those embarrassing moments because I would go through anything just to be in the same room as him for even an hour. I even entered in one of his other elective classes just so I could spend more “time” with him. And I feel like he was 100% aware of my crush and I feel so bad … he must of felt so awkward around me!! I couldn’t even formulate a sentence around the guy! Oh yeah PS this is my teacher I’m talking about. That im madly in love with … 🙂 oh and he’s married !!! Even better!! I’m literally crazy hahah. I know I have no shot but I just can’t even put into words my feelings I have for him. I miss him like crazy now that I’m in college & I wish I was still with him everyday at school laughing at all the jokes he’d say. Ugh I love that man. So yeah! My dilemma is that I can’t get him out of my head … like ever and it’s starting to bother me because that’s so unhealthy AND creepy. I’m creeped out for him hahah and he doesn’t even know I still think about him! Im just trying to move on (even though I wish I didn’t have to) but just live a normal life! Because I know for damn sure I am not on his mind. 🙁 not even sure how I fell for him, but it’s just
    the vibe I got from him. Still will never be able to explain it.

    • Your feelings are acceptable, but you should not take any action toward him. There are numerous reasons why you should not attempt to develop a relationship with him. Take this time to determine what you want for your future relationships without this person. Attempt to strengthen your relationships with your peers. Have a great day, Cass!

  15. What does it mean when you’re with your partner and he is dreaming about a stripper in 2 different moments during the same night?? Is he wanting to cheat?

    • These dreams are reflections of his thoughts and feelings. It is likely that he is interested in a physical relationship or desiring an increase in physical attention. This is not a sign that he is going to cheat. This is a sign that he may have desires that he is interested in satisfying. Take this time to determine what you want for this relationship. Have a great day, Norma!

  16. Hi, I have been knowing this guy that’s 13 years younger than me. For 9 years now at first he was in love WITH me, as I had kids and thinking he was not my future one. We dated off and on. Always stayed in contact. We moved into OUR place7 years ago. Its HOME to me. I have left and came back so many times i can’t count. I last came back ANF FELL IN LOVE with HIM. AT THAT TIME he was ready to EXPLORE.I went through depression hurt and lost 35 lbs. Moved out but STILL want to go HOME.. He says he loves me and he does. I tried dating and living with other guys and itsjust NOT THE SAME. HE stays on my mind. I have dreams about him. And another thing is its HOME to me. After 12 years of being pillow to post,I just want to be home I’m 47 and I’m just TIRED…my heart is with him,he’s not perfect but I’m type that is very easy going. I may not be happy with him all the time but when I’m home I’m MOST CONTENT..
    struggling with going back or not.

    • He has shared his feelings with you. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Come to an agreement as to what the two of you desire this relationship to be. If he is not interested in developing a relationship with you again, then do not attempt to nourish this relationship. Share your kindness and compassion with him. Have a great day, Stephanie!

  17. I can’t stop thinking about this boy in my class however when I do see him I don’t feel anything for him . But I just which he would give me his attention, but am unhappy when I don’t see him

    • Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to develop a relationship with this person, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. If you are not interested in him, then share your kindness and compassion with him. If you want to draw your attention elsewhere, then focus on your hobbies and interests. Have a great day, Shawna!

  18. I luv a girl…nd I seriously like her nd luv her..but I don’t know you y m tenst..actually I have a different kind of problem…actually dis is not the first time I m facing…actually if I luv a girl den my mind got stuck to date only…I mean each and every action performed by her clicks every second…nd der is a kind of question arises dat is dis ri8 thing or wrong this!?
    Something like dat nd den I started talking to myself to find the explqination…m in a very big trouble..kindly help me or suggest me something…

    • It sounds as though you are confused about your feelings and are unable to share them. Take this time to determine what you want with your future. Speak directly and honestly with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Anon!

  19. My boyfriend cheated on me, humiliated and betrayed me with her and had a baby out of it. We got back together and he cheated with the same girl again while I was pregnant. It was very messy but not as messy as before. She messaged me screenshots, texts and pics of them together to throw in my face. She knew we was together. I was very hesitant to take him back but I did for the sake of our family. I am trying to move forward but consistently thinks about the girl he cheated on me with. I find myself wanting to know why her and what made her sooo much better than me. I think about him cheating and her every single day. The things they did together and how they interacted. He said it was just sex but he left me for her b4 and started a relationship with her. I know he loved her at some point but how does he really feel about her? Things seem to be going great for us but I can’t keep my mind off of what happened. I get angry and wish I had someone new as well. I love him but I feel like I’m afraid to move on because he’s a genuine provider and great father and if I walk away I’ll be letting her win and he’s going to be great to her and I won’t find anyone better.

    • It sounds as though this person have chosen to disrespect you numerous times. It is certainly possible that he will behave in this manner again. Take this time to determine what you believe is acceptable for this relationship. If you do not want to end this relationship at this time, then allow these thoughts to fade. If he cheats on you again, then end the relationship immediately and seek legal support. Take this time to strengthen your family relationships. Have a great day, Star!

  20. I and my ex boyfriend broked up 20 yrs. Ago. Without break up or closure. Because i’d married at the early age without telling him.We both now have families. And our roads cross again. But theres no closure happened. Instead, we felt more so much pain than before. And now, its almos 3 months after we’ve met. Hes always on my mined no matter what i did his always here. I cant forget him.

    • If you are currently married, then allow thoughts of this person to fade. The relationship has ended decades ago. If he speak with you again, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Find closure and do not attempt to establish a relationship with this person. If you are single, then determine what you want for your future. Have a great day, Lanie!

  21. I have a crush, but we don’t really know each other well. I went to his house once and messed everything up by saying something stupid and just spilling too much of my emotions which I felt horribly ashamed by the next day…
    However, even after that I can not get him out of my mind and now it’s just too much and odd of how much he’s on my mind and we don’t even speak anymore. Help. I feel like it is so strange and I feel like it’s really creepy in a way. Lol. What should I do?

    • Take this time to determine what you want with this relationship. Also determine if this relationship is viable. Speak directly and honestly with this person about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Stephanie!

  22. My ex is always on my mind and we have a child together. We broke up 4 years ago because he was immature and although I knew I was still in love with him, I moved on. Now that time has passed he is still on my mind everyday. Over this last year, he also got back together with his high school sweetheart, but throughout their relationship something sparked again between us. We have both been in separate relationships, but now he has admitted that I am always on his mind too. We both stayed away and didn’t talk about it because we respected that we were each in separate relationships and didn’t think the other had the same feelings. Although I love the person I am with, I know that I am not in love with him and my ex feels the same way about his current gf. He loves her, but is still in love with me. Unexpectedly, his current gf just found out she is pregnant. Of all times now, and he barely tells me his true feelings now, that he thought we were going to end up back together , having another baby. It was a slap in the face as to why I’m still dragging my bf along when he deserves to find someone that is really in love with him. I plan on being alone, but uncertain if I should try to be there for my ex. Do I rekindle things. In my mind, if we end up back together, I would be right beside him to help her support that baby. I just don’t know if I’m crazy for thinking that or if I should just walk away. He is just as confused as i am.

    • If either of you are in a relationship, then do not attempt to rekindle a romantic relationship with him. If you are able to develop a relationship with him, then take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Kat!

  23. I’ve met the guy at the cafe. He is a cook there. I noticed him staring at me and smiling, I smiled back and hold an eye contact with him. This happened three times at the same day, and right before I left he also tried to establish an eye contact and smiled. I’m sure he likes me, but not sure in which way exactly… I can’t stop thinking about him. But I’m soo nervous to go in that cafe and to hold a conversation with him! Plus, there are always a lot of people, so he’s almost always busy cooking. I thought, maybe I should give him a piece of paper saying something like “Hey, I really like you. Call me if you would like to hang out sometime” but I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Please someone help, I’m open for advices!

    • It sounds as though you have an idea that shares your personality and your feelings. Take this time to determine what you want with this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Helen!

  24. I met a guy online and he was amazing. We had good chemistry we actually had intellectual conversations. And he was very helping in my life teaching me new things and actually being involved with my life. Eventually we had sex I can admit I got kind of scared because I know that my feelings would evolve and I didn’t want them to so quickly being that I want a man to be on the same page and not thing sex was all I wanted because I actually did want a relationship not to say I was rushing him but I think sex may have confused things a bit because I kind of got nervous. So eventually I let it get the best of me. After talking throughout the day our conversation ended he texted me at 1am asking what I was doing I said “why” in defense as well added that i am not coming over to have sex with him etc etc i think i came off the wrong way because i didn’t want him to remotely think i was about to come over at 1am he got super offended that i would think that that’s was is reasoning for contacting me. And stated that he didn’t even insinuate that that’s what he has wanted or why he was even contacting me. He got highly mad as told me to delete his number. I wish that this conversation had happened Over the phone because now he has taken things the wrong way. Not sure why. But after that i attempted to text and call no response i deleted his number (not really) but i haven’t contacted him in about 5 days but i truly miss this person. I believe i allowed insecurity in past relationship come into place who was wrong here? I just believe the nature thing to do was to talk I am offended that he can’t even do that. I miss him.

    • Your reactions to his question may have seemed offensive to him for a variety of reasons. Look inward and learn from this interaction. You may find benefit in altering the way that you communicate with people. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Lakejay!

  25. There’s a lot on my plate.
    I’ve been married for 6 years and it hasn’t really been going well and we both know it.
    Ive been talking to this guys who I have known for 5 almost 6 years and we have been casual talking over the years, I don’t know what it is but I feel like I can tell him anything, I feel close to him, I feel this attractiction that I have never felt before.. and recently my husband found out I was talking to him and told him to leave me alone and never talk to me again. So with that said, the “other guy” deleted me from all social media. Won’t talk to me at all, I almost just want to go to his house just so he can talk to me. I know he’s not talking to me because of the reason my husband called him. I know the other guy has feelings for me and I know he wants to be with me but is probably respecting the fact that I am married. But my marriage hasn’t been the best all these years and even my husband knows that.. we try and try but I just find that we are not the same people as when we first met.
    This other guy though, I can’t seem to get him off my mind. I know that’s wrong because I am married but I can’t help how I feel. Every day I think about him and every night. I don’t know what it is. I know I like him but do I love him? Or is this just lust that I’m feeling? I’m so confused and I feel like without talking to him is making me go more nuts… or maybe I do love him I’m just afraid to say it because of my situation?

    • This other person has decided to respect your marriage. He has taken a positive action and decided to no longer abuse this relationship. Take this time to determine what you want for your current relationship. As you are married, you should not attempt to establish a relationship with anyone else. It is clear that you are no longer interested in your marriage, so speak with your husband about your thoughts and feelings. If this relationship ends, then attempt to establish a new relationship. Have a great day, Anon!

  26. There’s this guy whom I just met like two months ago, he used to give me extra maths lessons for school. Like we really got along very well and have similar interests but the thing is, he has a girlfriend but I can’t stop thinking about him and I don’t want ruin his relationship (he doesn’t even know that I like him) it’s been a month since I haven’t seen him for maths lessons and I really miss him (and can’t stop thinking about him) I just don’t know what to do!?

    • He has a girlfriend and you have made clear that you do not want to damage his relationship. Continue to make that same decision. Allow thoughts of him to fade, though you can continue to share your kindness and compassion with him. However, there is no reason for you to attempt to reach out to him. Have a great day, Anon!

  27. About 2 years ago I met someone at work. I liked him, he liked me, and eventually he asked me out. I said yes, but later rejected it, because I suffer from anxiety and I tend to push people away when I am afraid. I regretted and a few months later I tried talking to him again. But his responses slowed and then stopped all together and eventually he told me to stop talking to him. It been a little over a year now and every so often I think of him or have a dream about him and then I can’t stop thinking about. Should I try reaching out to him again?

    • These dreams are reflections of your previous emotional attachments. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Reach out to this person one more time. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Explain your actions. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, May!

  28. I met a man who I had a deep connection with him since the first time we met. I am convinced he is my soul mate. Our relationship (if you want to call it that) started off with him calling me 3 to 5 times a day seeing me and requesting all of my time daily. I have given a lot to this man because i wanted to. He said he loved me about 3 mos in. We were just friends/business partners. Extremely close though. He expressed his gratitude and told me how much he appreciate me. My concern is knowing how he truly feels about me. I can feel his love but he is guarded and won’t tell me these deep feelings…the deal breaker is that i am married with children. I am not happy in my marriage i am confused. I understand some men if they can’t fully have you they will be guarded but i come from a place where communication is everything just tell me how you feel. He looks at me like i am the most beautiful person around he seem so happy when I’m around he say he gets nervous around me sometimes but constantly expresses his love for me and tells me he misses me but still won’t admit he wants to be with me. Despite the fact I’m in a unhappy marriage why won’t he tell me his true feelings. I think we both addicted and i cannot get him out my mind and i can feel his energy when I’m away from him. My mind gets foggy sometimes too

    • You are married, and he likely is showing respect to you, your partner, and your marriage by not attempting to establish a relationship with you at this time. You should not attempt to establish with him a relationship either, as you are currently married. If you are no longer interested in continuing your current relationship, then speak directly and honestly with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Mate!

  29. About a year I started back talking to this guy I knew from my childhood. At first it was completely innocent until I fell so hard for him. Last January I built up the courage and told him a little bit how I felt despite all the red flags, his response was he’s at work, we’ll talk about it later. Later I never got a response, fast forward I deleted him completely out of my life but about 3 months ago he sent me a friend request on fb my stupid self accepted it which I regret. He hasn’t say a word to me but I find myself thinking about him especially today and I hate it. He has not been a straightforward guy with me, I know in my heart he’s a liar, cheater, and so called a player/womanizer but I need these thoughts/feelings to be gone. So help me please, before I accepted his request I was fine, he was forgotten but now I can’t stop thinking about him and it makes me angry. I know this guy is not right for me, he completely lied to me pretending he liked me, but I believed it was revenge on his part b/c he claimed he had a crush on me years ago but I liked someone else. Anyways whatever the case may be; should I completely block him out of my life? I don’t feel like he deserves any place in my life. Part of me wants to block him for good and the other part is unsure. I’ve deleted him several times, I even changed my name last time around but he managed to find me and sent a request. He went out of his way to send a friend request but completely ignore me like what do you want??? What should I do? Please help?

    • If you believe that he is disrespectful and you are not interested in developing a relationship with him, then there is no reason to attempt to establish a relationship with him. You have no reason to accept another friend request from him. You do not need to communicate with with him. Focus your emotional energy on the people in your life that you care about. Have a great day, Bekah!

  30. There is a guy from the start that i didnt realised i always saw him around. Until 1 day it suddenly makes me realised that why i always saw him around. When i saw him i will smile and he smile too. We talked once as he started the converation but only for few minutes as i have to go. But, there are these moment that it makes me felt a bit nervouse when saw him around. And sometimes, i am thinking and looking or either waiting him at the place where we always saw each other.1 day when i come to the place where we always meet,i suddenly bumb into him. And i continue walk. After few minutes, he came just to have a drinks. At the moment i was suddenly nervouse seeing him and i did not see his face even that moment i was tried to give him a smile but i was nervouse. Then, I brave myself to added him as friends in one page at social media and he accepted my request. But, after that when we bump to each other again, i felt shame and i try to not see his face. After that moment, he also stop smiling to me when we accidently see each other. But, until now i dont know why i still thinking of him and always comes to mind to see his page at the social media. I was so shame. And i was so upset now cos i cant stop myself thinking of him. What should i do to stop thinking of him now?

    • It sounds as though you are confused about what you want with this relationship. Take this time to determine what you want with your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Serena!

  31. Hi, there’s this guy I really like, I love him actually, I told him about my feelings, he’d told me he had no romantic feelings for me and wasn’t interested in a relationship just yet, but recently he asked me if I had charmed him, that I am on his mind before he goes to bed and when he wakes up the next morning, even if I don’t want to admit it, am seriously flustered and been Thinking about him and everything he said, am honestly confused about everything going on, I don’t want to ruin what I have with him cause we are really good friends,and even if I trust him am having a hard time figuring what he’s thinking or if he means all he’s said,am just not sure

    • This means that he may be interested in developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want with this relationship. Attempt to spend additional time with him as well, as this will enhance your mutual feelings for each other. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Patience!

  32. I met this guy about 2 months ago, we started texting and that same week he moved overseas. He’d text me every day and call every now and again. I started to fall for him and I was certain he felt the same way, then all of a sudden he stopped texting me and now I find it difficult to hold a conversation with him. I really like him and would love to be with him, I just don’t know what to do

    • It is possible that the distance between the two of you has grown. His feelings for you may have faded. He may no longer have the time to nourish a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Anon!

  33. I’ve been seeing this guy for 3-4 months. We get along fine and he is the type of man I would want to be with. He is two years younger which I normally don’t do, but he is responsible. Long story short there is a tendency for too many games to be played which I am not used to (I’ve only been single for about 1 1/2 yrs). If either of us gets mad it’s like we are playing who will call or text who first game. Also doesn’t want to make “it official” wants things to “just happen.” My issue is I’m going to keep pulling back if it’s “not official.” Its not something i feel like doing and I’m at the point i want to let it go; the issue is every time i try there is something rly nice that he ends up doing. I can’t stop thinking about him and I feel like he is the same, because he will txt me first thing in the morning if we haven’t talked the night before. My issue is he hasn’t taken me out this whole time, along with this tit for tat we keep doing. He says he wants to take me out but he is saving up to do something big. Should i give this a chance or forget about it?

    • It sounds like you have a variety of questions and concerns about your relationship. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Contemplative!

  34. My first boyfriend was 12 years ago and up to this day I have not go a day whith out thinking about him and I even dream with him in some ocassion, we still keep contact but he said that he do not want to back and I should leve the past and move on. But something inside me tell me that he really think a lot about us. Sometimes I wich I can press a delete botton in my head and delete all the memories with him.

    • You are not ale to delete the memories that you have with this person. You are able to learn how to remove your emotional connection with these memories. He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He is unwilling or unable to establish a relationship with you. Allow these thoughts to fade and focus your attention elsewhere. Have a great day, Liz!

  35. I meet this guy a while back never really talked to recently. When I get in the phone with him I really don’t have much to say. I text him or call her really don’t respond or answer we had sex once. I said something to him about how I felt when I watched him sleep but all he replied was I understand and spoke about something else. I think about him allot and I don’t know how to go about it but I be wanting him next to me. He told me that I needed to get rid of my ex but I don’t want him to play games with me… I don’t know what to do now

    • It sounds as though he does not want to develop a relationship with you as long as you continue your relationship with your ex. This is a reasonable request from someone who may be interested in developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Queen!

  36. Me and a guy went out on a date back in October. We had a great time and we ended up kissing. He then messaged me the next day telling me he likes me a lot but is not looking for a relationship at the moment. We have been to the cinema a further 3 times and he always pays , even for drinks and snacks! We text everyday. We are swoping Christmas gifts in a couple of weeks! I just can’t get him out of my head! I’m constantly thinking about him and checking my phone waiting for a message

    • Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Attempt to spend additional time with him in person, as this will strengthen your mutual relationship. Have a great day, Cookie!

  37. Almost a year ago, i broke up with my ex. Due to issues at his household, but I keep thinking of him. But the ex has contacted me 3 times (3 weeks ago was the last time?) during the break. I did once too. Right now we arent exactly talking, I wanted to give him some space. But I cant seem to get him out of my mind for a while, i always seem to be thinking about him. I dont know exactly what to do with this

    • Take this time to determine if you want to nourish a relationship with him. If you do not believe that the problem persists and you are interested in developing a long term relationship with him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Noor!

  38. Recently meet this guy and we’ve been talking on the phone but have only met in person once. He mentioned how well we clicked and that it seems like we’ve known each other forever. Since we met I can’t stop thinking about him!! Although it’s clear we’re attracted to each other, I don’t want to run him away. I’m always fighting the urge to call or text or be near him. What do I do??

    • Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. It sounds as though the two of you have strong feelings for each other. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Attempt to spend additional time with him in person, as this will help strengthen your relationship. Have a great day, Fallen!

      • I have a case like this. But the difference is i have a boyfriend and were been together for 7yrs. And my boyfriend i know he loves me so much and been working on our relationship a lot thru ups and downs. Now im so confused because theres this guy who always i think about for months. Plss help 😔

        • Allow the thoughts of this other person to fade. Take his time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. Focus your emotional attention on your boyfriend. If this relationship naturally ends, then determine what you want at that time. Have a great day, Cris!

  39. I’ve been having problems lately with a guy and I’ve been thinking about him constantly to the point that it’s actually scary. We ended on bad terms because I had a case against him which I cannot detail in this but all I can say is he was somewhat responsible. I honestly think about him as if I miss him but I don’t and all of the sudden I can’t even process anything anymore. I need your help on this to know how to conquer this. It’s almost been a year since I’ve been thinking about him.

    • It sounds as though your relationship has ended or is in trouble for a reason. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. If the two of you are together, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. If you are no longer together, then allow your thoughts of him to fade. Have a great day, Nichole!

  40. I’m unable to stop thinking about this guy I met during a job interview. What’s more silly is that he was one of the interviewers. The interview took place in August and I recently realize that I have been thinking about him. I’m pretty sure it is a crush since I felt comfortable talking to him and I’m actually wishing for an opportunity to keep in touch with him. I’m tempted to approach him on social media but I’m too scared to make a move. What if he is seeing someone else? And will he even want to get to know me?

    P/S: I was called for a second interview but I declined it because I wasn’t sure if it was something that I wanted to pursue.

    • Take this time to determine if you want to develop a relationship with this person. You may want to attempt to reach out to him on social media. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Asha!

  41. I dated someone in high school and he was my first love. My first for everything. I thought we were meant to be but I graduated a year before he did and it got hard to not see eachother how we did and so we ended up breaking up. It’s been 6 years and I can’t get him off my mind. I tried moving on but he’s always there. When I finally get him off my mind something reminds me of him. I still love him a lot and we have talked on and off and he has said he feels the same way. I don’t know what the right decision is or why I haven’t been able to just let it go..

    • If you have spoken with him an you both are interested in nourishing a relationship with each other, then continue to speak with him. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Take action to develop this relationship. Have a great day, Shawna!

  42. I’m unable to stop thinking about my friends wife. My friend and I have a business partnership. He has been unfaithful to his wife for some time and she found out a few months ago. Obviously she was crushed. I tried to stay out of it as much as possible. However we are in a business together so I see them all the time together. It hurt to continue to partner with him because of what pain he caused her. She has always been nice to me but as of late has been very very friendly. During a work Christmas party she was extremely flirtiatious with me for most of the night. Later in the evening, my friend and his wife shared a ride to my house. We all had been drinking all night. She said she had to use my bathroom before the taxi took them to their house. Before I knew it, the cab and her husband was gone. So it was her and I, alone and intoxicated. She began to cry and confess all that was going on in her marriage. I listened. And then, she came on to me and began to kiss me. And I did not stop it. It was very passionate and continued on for some time until we both stopped it. She spent the night in my bed although we did not do anything other than kiss. She went home in the morning. She texted later that day feeling very guilty. I responded not to worry, I was a shoulder to cry on. We didn’t address the kissing. Three days later, I had to confront my friend and tell him what happened. He said he didn’t care and basically has checked out of the marriage. She is fighting to save the marriage. I cannot end my business partnership with him and i know it is wrong to play the “I know i can treat her better card”. I wasn’t trying to get into this. I tried to run from it. However, know I am in it and don’t know what to do. I think about her constantly. I try not to but can’t shake it. There was so much passion. I welcome your advice. Thank you.

    • Regardless of his actions and her desires, you should not attempt to establish a relationship with her while she is married. There is no reason that you can not continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. If their relationship ends, then you may nourish a relationship with her at that time. It is important for you to realize that if you establish you a relationship with her, then your business partnership will suffer. Have a great day, John!

  43. So me and this guy who lives about 2 hours away from where I do, started talking on Snapchat. He added me and we would stay up all night talking either on the phone or just texting. We soon realized we both started to catch feelings for each other. I’m not allowed to date anyone though and my phone recently got taken away and by recently I mean a month ago. I would use my friends phone to keep in touch with him until today he told me that he’s dating someone else. They started dating December 2. He decides to tell me 10 days later that he’s dating someone else. What I don’t understand is that last week he would tell me how much he loved me and misses me and he was dating another girl when he texted me that. He told me he still loves me in a caring way but I told him we’d be better off if we don’t talk at all and I’m really sad because he didn’t even bother telling me anything like no please stay or can we talk once in a while, none of that. And now I’ve been thinking about him all day and I can’t focus on anything anymore and I’m usually really happy (I’m a really happy person) but ever since he just said bye I wish I never met him from the start. I don’t know what to do.

    • He is currently in a relationship. There is no reason for you to continue to nourish this relationship. Do not contact him. If he ends this relationship, then determine what you want for your future at that point in time. Have a great day, H!

  44. I can’t stop thinking about this girl I met at church. I think she’s been my crush for a long time and now we are kind of friends. I really like her alot and I can’t stop thinking about her. I try to go to the gym but she keeps popping up in my head. I can’t concentrate as I’m constantly thinking her. This is affecting me negatively and I think I need help. I can’t carry on like this. I even do things that are not appropriate just to please her. I now hate myself for the things I do just for her to like me. I want to quit our friendship, this is not good for me.

    • If you want to quit your friendship, then do so. There is no reason to take actions that you do not think are acceptable. Speak directly and honestly with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Imanuel!

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