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What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?

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When you can’t stop thinking about someone, it can quickly become annoying. Whether you are thinking about a crush or really dislike your boss, these thoughts can keep reappearing when you least expect them. Because you think about the person so much, they hold an out-sized hold on your subconscious mind and may reappear in your dreams as well. From thinking about them constantly through the day to dreaming about them at night, you need to find a way to escape from these constant, reoccurring thoughts.

What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone?

If the person that you are thinking about is your crush, then it probably means that you are interested in them. Chemical changes occur in your brain when you start to fall for a crush. These changes mean that you are thinking about them constantly and feel nervous when you are around them. Even if your crush does not like you back, it does not stop your thoughts from turning to them all the time.

What If You Don’t Like That Person?

In some cases, you can’t stop thinking about someone because you dislike them. For many people, this is a boss or a family member that just annoys you. Everything that they do just reminds you over and over again that you dislike them. Your mind goes into a frustration circle where it keeps returning to the detail that bothered you so much. Unfortunately, this type of thought pattern can become unhealthy. Before long, your constant thoughts about the person become obsessive and you can’t think about anything else.

Ways to Stop Obsessive Thoughts

When you can’t stop thinking about someone, then you may have a problem with obsessive thoughts. This type of problem is often addressed with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This type of therapy helps you to naturally channel your thoughts and change your normal behaviors.



One technique that is used is to imagine a large movie screen. On that screen, project the person or activity that you continue to think about all the time. As you think about this stressful image, suddenly tell yourself stop or have someone else say stop. This interrupts your thought patterns briefly. Doing it just once is not enough though. You need to keep doing the same process multiple times until you automatically want to say the word “stop” when you reach a certain point in your thoughts. Once you can do this successfully, you can start using the same technique in your daily life to get yourself to stop thinking about the one person constantly.

Do Constant Thoughts Mean That You Love That Person?

In some cases, thinking about someone all of the time means that you have some type of attraction to them. This is not always the case though. There are many reasons why you could find yourself stuck in thoughts of someone else. In some cases, you may even hate the person.

Other reasons why you cannot stop thinking of someone is because you are attracted to them, have fallen in love or hate them. They could be your mentor, so you think about them a lot. It is also possible that that person is just especially funny or interesting, so you think about them all of the time.

You are the best person to decide what these constant thoughts mean. If you feel like you have fallen for them, then you may be in love or have a crush on them. If you feel hurt when they are absent or wish that you could be around them all of the time, then your thoughts may be due to a crush. If you feel repulsed by the thoughts, then they may be due to a deep-seated hatred or dislike of the person. By analyzing the thoughts and how you feel, you can figure out what is potentially causing these thoughts to occur.

This person cold also just be someone who helps you out or who treats you like family. They could be someone who changes your life or motivates you to succeed. It is also possible that the person just appeared in the dream, and the dream caused you to think about them constantly. In some cases, you don’t even know who the person is. They could have been in the dream randomly, so you don’t know if they even exist in the real world.

If you dislike thinking about this person all the time, try picking up a hobby. Staying busy will help your thoughts turn to other, more useful topics. Watch TED talks, read a book or pick up a new hobby. Writing in a journal each day can also help you work through your thoughts and figure out what is going on. With enough time, these thoughts will eventually go away.

519 COMMENTS

  1. Ok I Haven’t Known This Guy For Very Long But I Really Have This attachment With This Guy He Makes Me Feel Special He Makes Me Feel Different And Beautiful Because Before I Meant Him I Felt Unwanted And Ugly I Really Love Being Around Him He Is Always On My Mind I Fantasize About Him And Everything It All Feel So Unreal I Never Felt Like This I Might Even Love Him….

    • These thoughts are reflections of your emotional connection with this person. You feel comfortable and happy with him. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share his thoughts and feelings with you. You will find that your relationship with strengthen as you spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Liyah!

  2. I keep thinking of this guy who is older than me. He is single & sometimes flirts with me and I don’t know how to react. I alsofelt jealous when he was with someone else, however I can’t see myself with him. I feel that it may cause complications as he is an in law of the family. I am in my 40’s and have been single for a while so am not sure what to do. I don’t know why he is always on my mind, it is making me crazy!

    • Determine if you believe that this relationship is appropriate and viable. These relationships often develop, as you feel a social and emotional connection with this person. Speak with your family about your thoughts and feelings. If they approve of the relationship situation, then perhaps attempt to spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Tyger!

  3. I met a guy almost 5 years ago when I was engaged we talked all the time about basketball and then about how was your day. We talked every day. His sister told me he had never talked about another girl like he had about me and he told his friends too. We ended up kissing and then I told him it was wrong because im engaged and I couldn’t bring myself to end it with my fiance I am now married to the fiance and the guy I had met is now married. I can’t stop thinking about him. Someone told me when he started dating his wife he told her that if I had left my fiance he would be with me. I feel bad for my husband that I cant stop thinking of this other guy and even though it’s been years I wonder If he thinks about me a lot too.

    • Your thoughts are reflections of your emotional connection with this other man. Allow thoughts of him to fade and focus your emotional energy on your husband. The two of you are married, so there is no benefit in allowing your thoughts to dwell on the past. Spend additional time with your partner in person, as this will strengthen your relationship. Have a great day, Kelly!

  4. I met a guy abroad and we instantly clicked. We saw each other teo or three times and I had to go back to my country. However we kept talling everyday for a few months until it faded. When he saw that I was coming back he immediatly wanted to meet me. He is really busy juggling between his work and studies so it wasnt easy to see esch other while i was there but everytime we saw each other we had so much fun, he was very kind and charming, and we had great intimate time together. He said he’ll miss me so much and that he wish I was leaving in the same city. But whe I got back he barely replied to my messages saying he was in a bad place atm. We recently got back in touch but he doesnt always reply. On my side I cant stop thinking about him no matter how hard I try and I did feel we were both catching feelings when we were together. I dont know what to do.

    • The two of you share a strong social and emotional connection with each other. He is busy and his feelings for you are connected with him ability to spend time with you in person. You may find that your relationship may fade when you are away and strengthen when you are together. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Attempt to spend additional time with him in person if possible. Have a great day, Kiwi!

    • Please share your thoughts and feelings again. It is possible that your comment was not posted for a variety of reasons. We always appreciate when our community reaches out. Have a great day, Linny!

  5. I’ve been in a relationship with this man for 10 years he has yet to propose to me and a customer of mine has asked me why i choose to stay with a man who hasn’t made a move off second bass? I really don’t know the answer… I have a got to know this customer very well over time and he has told me that he would marry me in a heartbeat I can’t seem to get this man off my mind what do I need to do

    • This customer is interested in developing a relationship with you. He wants to know how serious your current relationship is. Determine what you want for the future of your relationship. It is unlikely that your partner is aware of your thoughts. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you. If you want to marry him, then be clear about your desires. Have a great day, Cynthia!

  6. I had a deep feeling for her, we never talked much but she was my crush from 8th grade but in 10th grade I started to talk to her and in 11th grade due to my stupid action she just said never to call again .
    I moved to college but she was still in my mind I liked the girls who were similar to her (face and gesture) I used to compare all girls with her. Then after 5 year I suppressed my feelings (being busy and focussing on my career).
    Now few days back I saw her photo on social media and all those feelings exploded and she is over my mind evey time , every moment . I am not able to focus on any active. I stopped using social media and trying to just forget her . Harder I try more frequent are her thoughts. What should I do?

    • She has shared her thoughts and feelings with you. She does not want you to contact her anymore. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Determine what you want for your future without her. You will find great benefit in continuing to socialize with all types of people. Have a great day, Jay!

  7. So I don’t date people and really didn’t care for boys but then this boy came in my life and said he can change it which I didn’t believe him cause that’s what they all say but anyways we text a lot and called every night and then like ik I starting really liking him and so we dated for like 5 months and like we lost are virginity to each other in the beginning of are relationship and everything was good we talked about really deep things about are past and what effects us and we cried on the phone with each other and like just everything I would sneak in his house and spend the night and it was just normal then out of nowhere he was just getting really distant from me and we weren’t talking on the phone like we used to and I started to think that he doesn’t like me anymore or that he likes someone else and he tried to break up with me twice and I kept saying no that he can’t leave me like this and he said I still love you I’m just trying to focus on school which I was fine with that and said ok and he kept saying he wanted to go on break but I never knew what a break was and I was just really depressed cause like I felt like he didn’t love me like he said he did anymore and then so my friend told me to break up with him because he was hurting me more he didn’t give me no attention or nothing so while she was typing it she showed me it and sent it cause I couldn’t I was crying so much I couldn’t breathe my chest was in pain and I just felt like dying and then I seen this girl post something before I broke up with him he was letting this girl twerk on him and I was so angry and started cussing him out and like we didn’t talk or looked at each other at school but I would still go home and cry about him cause I miss him and I still do I literally cried myself to sleep every night it was horrible I would even pray I really trusted him a lot and gave him everything I felt like I wasn’t good enough I still have feelings for him and I love him so much

    • The two of you shared a strong emotional connection. He had someone else in his life and chose to treat you without respect. You decided to end this relationship, and you still feel an emotional connection with him. Allow your emotional energy to be focused elsewhere. Determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, Daniela!

  8. Theres This Beautiful Girl I once loved with my whole life but she broke up with me for a silly reason….this girl is the same girl that told me she couldn’t live without me, she loved every bit of me..she says she loves me everyday… we’ve cried together… we’ve done everything together…i was her light and shinning armor..i told her everything and she did too but suddenly she changed nd stopped giving me attention then finally she broke up with me…. it’s been 7 months…i still think of her…she probably does too cos she’s always looking for a conversation…. I’m confused…. I want to move on but sometimes i just want to go back in her arms… I love her so much but then i don’t…. I Break down when i least expect it… I’m confused

    • You are confused and uncertain about your feelings regarding this relationship. Your ex girlfriend had decided to end this relationship for personal reasons. The two of you are still communicating, which may mean that she is still interested in nourishing a relationship with you. Determine what you want for your future at this time. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings, and her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Romeo!

  9. I’ve been working at this place for about a year now and there was this manager who would always borrow things and I found him attractive. Recently, I became a manager myself and I got to properly introduce myself. I developed a crush on him. Unfortunately, he has two kids and might be with his baby momma. I’m sure he knows how I feel because he came in the other day and started asking me questions like “where are you from?”, “when’s your birthday?” Etc. It seems like I can’t get him out of my head. I feel like I spend the whole day thinking about him. How can I stop there obsessive thoughts?

    • It is possible that he is interested in strengthening his relationship with you. He may want to develop an emotional relationship. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Decide what you believe is viable. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Ari!

  10. Theres a man at my office who I’ve been working with for about 10 months now. Ive always found him slightly attractive, but never really acted on it. I would make conversation with him just like any other coworker, at first he’d over-analyze aaking why I’m trying to get to know him. I was mostly just making small talk, as time went on we began running in the same social cirlcle. Had to see each other at parties,etc. At this point Ive realized we have a decent amount in common, & his sense of humor is on par with mine. Still, nothing has happened. Anyways, I cant get him off my.mind, I dont even see him as much anymore since he was moved to a different department. But Ive always wondered if he felt anything. My main issue with him is how iffy every meeting would be. One day hed be super nice, trying to make me laugh, & the next hes cold, or picking fights. Some days I get the silent treatment even when I say hi.
    I’ve been overanalyzing it & now just want to get him off my mind.

    • It is possible that there are various emotional and social influences in his life. He may be interested in developing a relationship with you. There may be someone in his life that is preventing him from nourishing this relationship. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Jane!

  11. There a guy I like named Trevor… I don’t even know if I should be posting it buy I feel as if it’s a good out let. He was a student teacher in our 11th grade classroom. I didn’t really notice him until my friend pointed out that he was very well dressed and liked some of the things I did. Then i got curious when she had found out every single one of his social medias( very creepy) she’s a freaking stalking if u couldn’t tell. So I decided to be bold and follow him on instagram. And he let me follow him back 🙂 I looked through his history. He went through a big change in his life and has the same faith as me. His Change reminded me of myself and encouraged me. He’s goofy and well mannered and very intelligent <3 he also loves his family very much and there seems to be a lot of love in return. Then he graduated and now lives fairly far away in Oklahoma. I don't know if I have a chance with him. Even after trying to forget someone that wonderful I can't get him out of my head. It's like he's sitting in a rocking chair in the back of my mind toying with me. I'm too afraid to tell him how I feel. I mean of course I wouldn't until I'm 18 but i get nauseous at the thought of being pushed away. I just want a decent man is all. So It's been a few months and I've kind of moved on but he still lingers there like a prowling lion. It's weird.. I don't even think I'm worth his time… or any mans time tbh. I just need a way to forget about him. Is there any advice out there?

    • This person is a student teacher, so there are a variety of social, professional, and legal concerns regarding this relationship. Continue to appreciate his actions, but do not attempt to maintain a romantic relationship with him. There will be benefit in nourishing a professional and academic relationship with teachers that you find a connection with. Have a great day, Allaida!

  12. I’ve been working with this guy for 4 years (we teach at the same school) and had a very low opinion of him until last tear. We became BEST friebds to the point where collegues actually thought we were falling in love with each other. We were literally inseperable. I never realised I was falling in love with him because he was in a very serious relationship. He broke all my barriers down, touching, cuddling and even holding hands at work became second nature to us.

    I decided instead of telling him how i feel that i needed to end our friendship because we were entering a dangerous territory and if he loved me as he always said he did, he would respect my decision.

    3 Months later we are back to square one. After months of not talking we are becoming the what we were a year ago. Him doing whatever I ask of him and me doing the same. Old jokes about how we used to hold hands even came up in a discussion.

    The point is I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!! I cannot seem to let go and his making it hard for me to let go. As if something is drawing us toward each other. The problem i now face is that i heard him tell a colleague his going to propose to his girlfriend soon. Why cant he then just leave me alone?? Im so confused. Please help

    • You made the right decision. He was in a serious relationship and his behaviors may have brought harm to his partner. You have decided to no longer attempt to develop a strong emotional relationship with him. Share your kindness and compassion with him at all times. If his relationship ends and he reaches out to you, then share your thoughts and feelings with him. Have a great day, Amelia!

  13. I know this lady close to a year now, she told me she has a complicated relationship, I propose to her but she said I should give her more time that we can just be friends but for the past 3 months my love and affection for her keep growing like never before. she loves me so much I know that but sometimes she behaves strange to me which I will not understand, anytime I expressed my emotional feelings to her to let go of me then she will suddenly changed by showing me love and all she can do to make me happy as I know she wouldn’t want to loose me, but after some weeks she will change again. I love her so much and I can’t afford to loose her but I don’t know what to do to win her hear completely and to my greatest surprise anytime I refer to her boy friend she will be mad at me that the guy is her ex. I don’t know what to do

    • It sounds as though the two of you have a complicated relationship. You may be concerned regarding her relationship with her ex boyfriend. It is possible that she has conflicted emotions. She may be confused or uncertain at this time. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Have a great day, Michael!

  14. Comment:Am in a relationship with a guy who keeps on asking for my picture…. while am bathing….my boobs…. even my pussy….he keeps on sending love m.o.g…he never miss a day without sending it… the problem is that am not sure whether he loves me… what do I do please.. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND HE KNOWS

    • He is interested in developing a physical relationship with you. He may feel a strong emotional and social connection with you. Determine what you believe is appropriate for your relationship. Perhaps attempt to spend additional time with him in person, as this will strengthen your relationship. Have a great day, Virgy!

  15. There’s this coworker I’ve know for two years. At first she was just a regular woman to me. Not beautiful but not ugly. Just normal. And then over time she’s been nice, brought me food when I was hungry and just generally being sweet. The thing is I never told her I didn’t have any food, she always just showed up with food and I really appreciated it. Soon after we became closer and closer I bought her things like a phone, a Texans crock pot, and I always stop and buy her stuff like fruits, candy, chips and small snacks. And sometimes we’ll pay for each others lunch. It’s gotten to the point where I’m CONSTANTLY thinking about her. I’m always looking for her or just enjoy being around her. I’ve told her how beautiful she is and do my best to let her know that I’m crazy about her. Everything I’ve done for her has always been from my heart, I don’t want anything in return. I’ve written a 5 page paper to her just to try to get out all my feelings to get her off my mind, but every time I see her she inspires new words and new feelings in me. The only issue is she’s in her early 50s and I’m 23. I understand why we can’t be a thing. She has boys older than me. But I can’t get her off my mind. I’m not even exaggerating. And sometimes at work if she doesn’t talk to me for an extended period but talks to others I get mad and get an attitude. I have my own issues to work out but this woman is so beautiful. And funny. She’s all I’ve ever wanted in a partner but I can’t have her. So now I just torture myself because I can’t get up and quit to leave her alone. I’d never think about doing that… I try to limit my talking around her but I can’t. She’s just so amazing. And I’m crying right now because I know it’s not going to happen. But she’s the best thing ive ever had. I came out a bad relationship and she’s shown me how things can be different. Even this long comment can’t do my feelings for her justice. I don’t know why I commented or what adivice I’m looking for bu I just need to get this out. Thanks for listening .

    • The two of you share a strong social and emotional relationship. Do not allow your age difference to prevent you from nourishing a relationship with this person. If you are interested in having children of your own, then you may need to speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. However, it seems as though she is not interested in maintaining a relationship with you. Decide what you believe is viable, and take appropriate action. Have a great day, Guy!

  16. I’ve been seeing this guy for about 7 months off an on I couldn’t get serious with him at first because I’m still in a relationship we have been on several trips me him an my older kids we crazy in love with each other but I have a boyfriend I sneak out an spend the night with this guy often an I lie to my boyfriend I broke up with this other guy on March 27 2018 we went to the westin hotel an I realized he might not be the one for me 3 months later I just started thinking an dreaming of him all the time i can’t stop he moved to Florida because he said he tired of me playing with his heart but he was seeing someone else to he just likes me more why can’t I stop thinking of him both of are pride is really keeping us from communicating we spoke the other day I was going to visit him in Florida I’m in Atlanta but he got upset I lied when he asked do I think of him I said no so we not speaking again he said I’m 40 acting 21 why is this happening to me did he put a spell on me I want these feelings to stop what do I do

    • He did not put a spell on you. He shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He was no longer comfortable with maintaining a relationship with you while you had a partner. He felt as though you were causing him emotional stress. You are in a relationship, so you should not attempt to nourish another relationship. You need to determine what you want for your future and take appropriate action. Have a great day, Nikia!

  17. I met a young lady 4 months ago at first she didnt pay me no mind nor did I pay her any we were just vibing non sexual Netflix and chill I was being told a lot of bad things about her so when I start feeling for her my philophobia kicked in and I hurt her feelings we no longer talk but every other thought is about her I do t usually have dreams but now I do and its always her

    • You hurt her feelings and the two of you no longer speak. Your thoughts are reflections of your strong emotional connection with her. If this relationship is no longer viable, then attempt to focus your emotional connection elsewhere. Determine what you want for your future. Learn a lesson from this relationship. Have a great day, Ro!

  18. dere is dis guy i met ,at first i didnt like him buh wen we started spending time together i got to like him.
    i actually met him through a frnd of mine,dis guy is so tempramental nd kind of stop picking my calls buh later things change nd we started talking again.
    i noticed since i hanging out wit him he kind of change for good buh later tins began to change bcos he actually thought i was dating him
    buh i told him we were just frnds buh.
    dis guy do call me buh i started avoiding him becos i didntt want our friendship to lead to sumtin else, he den called me one faithful day buh i refused to see him, he den came around my house just for him to talk to me.
    i actually went to see him,and we talked buh he wanted us to hang out buh i told him no
    buh nw he is now abroad nd i cant stop tinking about him buh since he left.
    buh before leaving he sent me text saying
    i wuld b travelling out of d country by Monday, nd dats y i wanted us to talked abt my travelling buh since u decided to fall in luv with anoda guy
    no problem .bye
    ever since he traveled ave not been able to get him out of my thought nd day b day i fell like i really hurt him
    buh i was so busy nd didnt wanted a relationship nw because of my past nd i dnt wanna get hurt anyhow

    • Your behaviors caused him to feel in a particular way. He responded by sharing his thoughts and feelings with you. He is no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with you. Learn from this relationship to ensure that your future relationships are successful. Allow your emotional energy to be focused elsewhere. Have a great day, Maggie!

  19. I just met a boy yesterday afternoon every time I looked at him he was looking back at me.When he noticed that I was looking at him he would smile ad look away and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

    • This person and you shared a connection. It is possible that he feels similar feelings for you. Determine what you want for your future. Perhaps speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Daiana!

  20. I recently found a guy I used to make out with when i was a teenager on FB. I am divorced and he is currently separated. I can’t stop thinking about him and it only been a week. This weekend tho, he stated he was hanging out with his sister and we didn’t talk but every day he textes me good morning. Is this worth living out the past and what could have been or should I run because he is “separated:

    • It is certainly possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. If he is legally married, then determine what type of relationship you want to nourish. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with him. You may want to speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. The two of you share a strong history, but you may harm his partner if you develop a relationship with him while they are married. Have a great day, Kee!

  21. I’m having non-stop thoughts about my former landlady. We’re friends and a few times she betrayed. We broke up our friendship, I rented another place, and I didn’t have a thought about her however recently we rekindled our friendship but it didn’t take long for her to start putting me down, if I have a problem she always says that it has never been an issue for her or thankfully she is in a better position. She also likes to remind me that she’s tall and I’m short. Not sure why she does it because my height is average. The thing is I’m constantly thinking about the stupid things she does, I know they’re minor but can’t understand why I can’t block her off my mind. All the time. I catch myself thinking how to get back to her, especially what I should have said but I have a kind and sweet nature and ended up accepting her behaviour. She’s always creating situations to get together but I’m learning how to say no, using all sort of excuses I can. No, I don’t love her or fancy her.

    • It sounds as though she attempts to intellectually abuse you. Your thoughts of her may be reflections of your emotional connection with her. You are not interested in developing a relationship with her, so allow these thoughts to fade. Determine what you want for your future without this person. If she reaches out to you in the future, then share your kindness and compassion with her. Have a great day, Carol!

  22. Hi i’m having a trouble thinking about one of my Boyfriend’s friend … I used o teased that person but just a few days there are times that it keeps on popping on my thought … even i don’t want to … i Really love my boyfriend and don’t want that some one keeps on popping into my head … what should i do

    • You are in a relationship, and the person that you are thinking about is his friend. It is normal to think about the people who are in your life. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion with this person. Do not attempt to nourish romantic thoughts. Focus your emotional energy on your current partner, and attempt to spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Aren!

  23. I think I’m in love with someone who’s completely off limits,but that doesn’t stop my attraction to him.I’ve never felt like this emotionally attached to any other person but it’s killing me because I don’t know if he feels the same way I often catch him staring at me but when I do he immediately looks away.I don’t know if it’s all in my head but the sexual tension between us is Palpable..please what do I do

    • You feel sexual tension in this relationship. It is certainly possible that he is attracted to you. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. You may strengthen this relationship by spending additional time with him in person. If you are not interested in doing so, then allow these thoughts to fade. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with him. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Ruth!

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