You have just gone through a terrible break up. After struggling not to text him or try to get him back, you (or your boyfriend) asked to do the no-contact rule. In general, you should always tell your ex-boyfriend that you are doing the no-contact rule if you have any hope of getting back together. Otherwise, he will just think that you hate him and have moved on when you don’t respond.
If you have done it the right way, your ex-boyfriend knows that you are doing the no-contact rule. He understands that you both need time apart, so he has not reached out to you. Even though you are not talking to him at all at the moment, you are still wondering what he is thinking about. Does he miss you as much as you miss him? Does he ever think about you? Does he regret the break up or is he already starting to move on?
What Is He Thinking During No Contact?
Every relationship and person is different, so there is no standard thought process. Some guys are thankful that the relationship is over with, while other guys regret their mistakes. You are the person who is best placed to figure out what he is thinking about. If the break up is his fault, then you can probably bet that he is thinking of you and his mistakes a bit. Unfortunately, there is no way to know exactly how he feels until the no-contact rule ends and you are able to talk to him again.
He Is Probably Thinking About You
One of the most common questions is about whether your ex-boyfriend is still thinking about you. It seems fairly safe to assume that he thinks about you from time to time. You were once a major part of his life, so he still has an urge to text you when something amuses him or he thinks of a new idea. For some guys, this may mean he is thinking about getting back together. For other guys, these thoughts are merely a reminder of the past and don’t mean that he wants to get back together with you at all.
He Doesn’t Want to Reach Out First
First of all, we should point out that some guys do not want to be contacted at all. If he is truly through with the relationship, he may want to just remove all of the memories of the past and forget about you.
If even a part of him wants to get back together with you though, he is probably hoping that you will contact him first. Think back to when you were a child and got into an argument with your friend. Even though you were both in the wrong, you were afraid to lose face and reach out first. The same thing is happening here. Even if he wants to reach out to you and get back together, he doesn’t want to lose face by being the first person to apologize.
Worse still, his ego will stop him from reaching out. He has a certain opinion of himself and admitting to mistakes does not fit in with that opinion. If he is still angry for your part in the break up, then he may want you to reach out first so that he is “winning” in the break up.
Unfortunately, reaching out to him won’t necessarily help. When you text him, his first impulse is that he won. He knows that he can have you back whenever, and a part of him may even feel superior because you came crawling back to him. With that in mind, you should definitely finish the no-contact rule and avoid appearing needy when you reach out to him again.
Why Isn’t She Talking to Me?
As we mentioned before, you should definitely tell your ex-boyfriend that you are doing the no-contact rule if even a part of you may want to date him again. Otherwise, he is going to think that you totally hate him and have moved on—this is especially true if he has tried to talk to you and you ignored him.
Even when you tell him that you are doing the no-contact rule to think things over, he will still wonder why you aren’t talking to him. He may miss you and still have feelings for you. While his heart is in pieces, he can’t imagine that you would feel any differently. Even if he has totally moved on and doesn’t want a relationship, his ego may still make him wonder why you did not reach out to him.
Breaking contact is generally a good idea after a break up. It gives both of you a chance to heal and reevaluate the relationship. Plus, it breaks the pattern of being a boyfriend and girlfriend. Some couples keep texting and talking after a break up. This means that he gets the emotional support of a girlfriend while he is playing the field. It isn’t fair, right? For him to realize what he is missing, he has to actually lose the entire girlfriend experience.
He Wants to Win
This sounds immature, and mature guys probably won’t do this if they have any level of self-awareness. Unfortunately, there are many fellas who still listen to their egos and immature impulses. While this is a terrible way of looking at a breakup, a part of him wants to win. You both argued and broke up mutually. The person who reaches out first or asks for the relationship to start first is the loser.
This is a major reasons why a guy who wants you back won’t reach out. His ego is getting in the way of his happiness. This is one of the main reasons why a guy will be hoping that you contact him first because he wants to win the breakup.
What If I Lost Her Forever?
He might cycle through all of the previous feelings for a couple of weeks. Most likely, he will go back and forth through each of these stages. You may get a dozen text messages when he realizes that he misses you. Then, he goes silent as his ego takes hold and he tries to “win” the breakup. If he loves you and wants you back, he will sooner or later start to fear that he has lost you forever. When this happens, he is ready to talk about making the relationship work.