Listen, sometimes, we don’t always get what we want. Sure, you thought that they were wanting to be with you, but, it didn’t work out. But this isn’t because there’s something wrong with you. It’s their emotions and their mental process that decided this. You’re fine, you’re normal, they just don’t have those feelings for you. Did you wish it was different? Absolutely, I mean, we all want to get our own way but this is for the best. If he didn’t want to be with you romantically, then why would you try to make it work? There’s nothing to try to fix or improve. So, you’re going to have to learn how to grow from this experience and move on. But don’t worry, you won’t have to do it alone, we’ll be here to help you through it.
Accept his decision
He doesn’t want to be with you. It’s harsh and hurtful to hear but you need to hear it. I don’t know why he doesn’t, but the point is, at this time, it’s not going to happen. Maybe it’ll happen later in life or maybe not at all. But you need to accept his decision and not force something that he doesn’t want. It’s not going to work out well for you. In fact, you may end up losing a friend instead. Pushing him into explaining why or asking him to give it a shot isn’t going to work either. If he’s having second thoughts, you need to let him process them out on his own. He’ll tell you if he thinks he made a mistake. But if he doesn’t, then he’s made up his mind already.
Take some space away from them
You need space. Don’t stick around right after he tells you he doesn’t want to be with you. This won’t be healthy you for. You need space. He’ll probably want to console you because he feels bad, but just take that time to be on your own. Usually, when something happens, we automatically want to smother that person with attention because we feel that we’re losing someone. But you’re not losing him, that is if he’s a real friend. If he isn’t a real friend then this friendship was just a way to feed his ego. So, take some space for yourself and if he’s a friend he’ll understand why.
Should you hang out with him right away?
I know you two are friends and you may be thinking that you’ll be able to hang out with him right after this happened but you won’t and you shouldn’t. Take a couple weeks off from talking and seeing him. You need that time to heal yourself and move past the incident. Now, you can still be friends with him but it’s going to take some time to actually get over him. Tell him that you need this time and if he truly cares about you as a friend, he’ll give you as much time as you need to process what happened and accept it.
Understand that you deserve better
Why would you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you? I understand why, I mean, you like that person, but if they don’t like you back, well, find someone who does. And there will be someone who loves you for you. Just because they didn’t want to be with you doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. So, cry it out, take a couple days to be sad but then you’ll have to move on and keep searching for someone who truly wants you for you. I know it sounds cliche but it’s really true, you’ll find someone who really wants you.
Value his friendship
If he is truly a good friend to you, then you’ll probably want to maintain the friendship you had. Of course, it’ll be a bit different now that you expressed your emotions, but if you’re both mature, it won’t affect the love and respect that you have for each other. Maybe you two are truly meant to be close friends and not have a romantic relationship which is okay. If you feel this, then continue to value your friendship with him, Now, if he rejected you disrespectfully and isn’t speaking to you, then you don’t have to continue the friendship. It takes a lot of courage to express your feelings to someone, so if they don’t acknowledge that then they’re not a true friend.
Focus the attention on yourself
Right now you’re stinging. I get it. But it’s time to switch it up and focus on yourself in a positive light. Not getting what you want romantically sucks, but now it’s time to put the bucket of ice cream away and focus on yourself. Just get your bike and go for a ride, go shopping, join a yoga class – whatever it is, do it to improve yourself. This isn’t the last guy on earth, so, no need to panic. And if he turned you down, well, you can do better anyways.
This isn’t the end of the world
This isn’t the last guy in the world. I know right now you probably feel that you’re going to die alone, but you won’t. This is just one of the many guys that are going to come in and out of your life. So, don’t feel like a failure because this guy isn’t into you the way you want him to be. Consider this is a great learning experience and once the emotions you’re feelings dwindle down, you’ll be able to see that maybe you two weren’t a good pairing. Point is, don’t allow yourself to think of this as rejection, thus, feeling unworthy. Because you are worth it.
Having someone tell you that they just want to be friends isn’t a fun experience, but it happens to everyone at some point in their lives. All you can do is use the strategies after the fact to learn from the experience and become more self-aware