You found out she cheated on you, now what?
It is estimated that 30%-60% of married couples cheat on their spouses at some point in their marriages. Surely it’s almost the same percentage for boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, too. It happens everyday, all over the world. And no matter how often it’s done, it’s never an easy thing to deal with when it happens to you.
There is a certain sting that comes along to bite you when your partner cheats on you. The pain can make it hard for you to process what has just happened. It clouds your judgement as to what to do next.
What should you do? You may be at a loss, especially if this has never happened to you before.
If it has happened to you previously, it may be a little easier for you to know what to do.
Take Time For Yourself.
Before you do anything, you need to take time to process the situation. You want to evaluate your feelings and what you are thinking right now. You may feel as if your partner is in the spotlight, because they are the one that will most likely claim they feel supremely guilty and they are the one who messed up. However, you should not think like that at all. Make you the number one in this situation. You should be the priority. You are the one who was hurt, you are the one who has to deal with the pain and you are the one whose trust has been ultimately broken. No, it’s not selfish. Your partner cheating was selfish. You deserve time to think about what’s going on and take time to process the pain you are going through.
Find Someone To Talk To.
As much as you may not feel like talking about it, you probably should. Keeping your thoughts and emotions pent up inside will only lead you to feel worse in the long run. After you have taken time to process it yourself, you should now find someone to process it with you. You may be grateful to not only have a shoulder to lean on, but you will also appreciate having an outsider’s point of view. You may be wondering, ‘Who should I talk to about something like this?’
It’s important to talk to someone that knows you very well. You can talk to your best buddy, maybe the one who has known you the longest. You could talk to a brother or a sister. We advise not talking to someone like your mother or father about this. They may be a little too biased and it may cause them to hate your partner indefinitely. Unless you plan on never bringing them around again, tread carefully with your parents. Your mom may go and tell everyone what happened and gossip about it. No one needs that.
Think About The Circumstances.
Although you are hurt right now, you may want to eventually consider what you want to do about your relationship. Have you decided whether it’s over or not? You will find yourself considering the depth of your love for your partner and how long the two of you have been in a relationship.
They say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” However, people have the ability to change and you have to keep that in mind. Don’t feel pressured to end your relationship because society tells you to, only end it if you feel like this is something that you cannot see yourself moving past. The decision should be yours and only yours. Keep in mind that if you choose to continue the relationship, you and your partner will need to work extremely hard on the problems that caused them to cheat in the first place. It is not an easy road. Oftentimes, the cheating thing cannot be forgotten or even forgiven.
Bring Closure To The Situation.
Now that you have come to fully embrace the situation and have had time to think it over, you can arrange to get some closure. What is closure? Closure means that you will bring resolution to the situation at hand. You have finally decided what you want to do. If you want to continue the relationship with your partner, even after the incident, you will need to let them know. Set up a time where the two of you can meet in a public place. It’s important to discuss these things in public so that neither of you will let your emotions get the best of you. You will be more inclined to stay calm and peaceful. You will then need to see what your partner is thinking and try to start resolving the issues between you.
If you decided that you want to leave the relationship, you will still want to set up a meeting with your partner in a public place. You will want to let them know that you want to end things and hope that they return that statement with a heartfelt apology. That way you can find your closure.