You gathered the courage to make the next step in your relationship but she turned you down. You’re not the only guy to get turned down. She probably said that she see’s you as a friend and nothing more than that. You know, that’s okay. Of course, you’re bummed out that she didn’t say that she also wants to be with you, but this is life and sometimes this happens. The important thing is that you don’t sit and dwell on this. So, we’re going to show you some ways to take this as an experience and learn from it instead of becoming depressed.
After it happens, be cool
Don’t freak out and text her saying how this always happens to you and that she’s mean for leading you on and that you want an explanation. Don’t do any of that. If she wants to explain anything to you, she would have already done so. So, all you can do is accept what happened and just take it for what it is at this moment. Say that you understand and that you’ll need some time on your own and that’s it. She’ll understand and give you that time alone. If not, well, then she’s not someone you should keep as a friend.
Don’t try to change her mind
She said no. Now, she may have some feelings for you but at this point in time, she said no. So, you have to respect her answer. If she feels she made a mistake, she’ll give you signs and let you know. But for now, there’s no debate to her answer. The worst thing you can do is try to convince her that she’s wrong. Leave her to think about it and process what happened. Plus, you’ll come off as needy and desperate if you’re begging her to reconsider. Just be cool. It may be hard, but you have to be cool and calm.
Talk it out with friends
Your buddies are supposed to be there for you through it all. They’ve all had these experiences with women, so you’re not the only one. Talk to them about what happened and they’ll be able to support you during this time. It’s normal to feel bad, you were just turned down so both your feelings and ego are hurt. But your friends will know what to do to help you get out of your funk. So, when in doubt, call your friends.
Don’t stalk her social media
Don’t do it. You probably think she turned you down because there’s some other guy in the picture and there might be but who cares. You stalking her Facebook and Instagram won’t change the fact that she doesn’t want to be with you. In fact, it’ll probably just make you more upset that she didn’t accept your offer. So, unfollow her from Facebook, don’t look at her new posts on Instagram, just take a virtual time-out from her. If she’s your friend, she’ll understand why you’re not commenting on her statuses or why you unfollowed her on Instagram. But before you do that, explain to her why so that way she won’t feel like she did something wrong because she didn’t…that is unless she was leading you on.
Focus on you
You don’t need to focus on her, you’ve already invested way too much thinking about her. Now, it’s time to think about yourself. Go to the gym, hang out with friends, go for a run, whatever it is that you like to do, do it. You need to distract yourself with positive energy and the best way to do that is to do something that makes you feel good. Just because she turned you down, doesn’t mean your life is crumbling. It’s all about you now.
Go on dates
She’s not the only girl walking this planet. Though it may feel like she’s the only girl for you, she’s not. You can find someone who actually wants to be with you, so what you’ll need to do is go on dates. Don’t sit on the couch pouting and eating bags of potato chips. Whatever the method is for you to get dates whether it be Tinder, going to bars, going to blind dates, just do it. You need to see that there are other girls out there and once you notice that other women actually want to be with you, though you may miss her, you’ll see that there’s more out there for you.
Don’t abuse substances
I know you’re feeling upset and hurt but getting drunk every night isn’t going to change anything. Sure, you’ll destroy your liver and have a massive hangover but that’s about it. Is she worth abusing your body over? I didn’t think so. I know it’s very typical for people to get wasted after something like this happens but there’s no point. Alcohol is a depressant so that’ll only make you feel worse. Plus, you may end up drunk dialling or texting her and honestly, you don’t need to embarrass yourself, it’s not worth it. Sure, you can have a couple drinks, but don’t become a belligerent drunk because things didn’t work out the way you wanted it to.
Let her come to you
I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what happened or your relationship with her, but if she’s secretly into you, let her come to you. Sometimes, you have this feeling after being rejected that it wasn’t an honest rejection. If that’s the case, let her come to you. If she has feelings for you, she’ll come to you. If she really isn’t interested in you at all, even as a friend, well, you’ll never hear from her again. Now, when she does come to you, don’t jump on the opportunity. You’ll have to play it cool and go slow with this. She’s clearly not ready, so you’ll have to be patient. In the meantime, go on dates and live your life.