You were so looking forward to seeing her, and then here you are staring at a text message that reads, “Sorry, I can’t make it.” We know you’re frustrated and annoyed, but the bottom line is that you won’t be seeing her tonight. What should you do?
1. Ask her if she needs help. A cancelled date may be annoying, but it’s better to take the gentleman’s route than to be all sullen about it. If she says she can’t make it because her car broke down, ask her if she’d like you to pick her up. If she says she’s not feeling well, say you hope she gets better, but ask if there’s anything you can get her to make her feel better. Even if she says no to your offers (whether out of genuine disinterest or out of politeness), it’s good that you still made her feel that you care about her.
Now if this is the first time you’re going on a date with her and she cancels, it’s better if you just acknowledge her text. Say something like “Oh, that’s too bad. I hope you feel better/your boss lets you off the hook/your car gets fixed.” Whatever her reason for cancelling may be, acknowledge it just to show her the ball’s in her court again.
2. Don’t take it too personally. Just because she cancelled, doesn’t automatically mean she doesn’t want to go on a date with you. There are about a hundred things that can happen to people to make them need to cancel going out with someone. And in this case, it’s actually her and not you that’s the reason.
Now if you feel like she’s giving you a super flimsy excuse to go on that date, then it’s even more imperative that you don’t take it personally. Whatever her reasons may be for not wanting to go on a date with you are her own reasons. You might not be her type or she might not be at that stage in her life where she’d go on a third date with the same guy. The bottom line her is that as long as you know you did nothing wrong, then there’s no reason for you to wallow in misery about not being able to go on a date with her.
3. Give her a reason to regret not going on that date with you. Since you’re on the topic of your date and how it was unfortunately cancelled, you can tell her about how you booked a totally awesome place and that it took you weeks to get that spot. You can also mention that you planned on a full-course meal with wine and unlimited desserts. Or if you didn’t do any of that, just say something simple like “I really hoped to see you tonight. I binge-watched Game of Thrones and I was hoping we could talk about your theories.”
By letting her know what she’s missing out on, she might regret not going on that date with you. And she might look forward to your next date. Speaking of which…
4. Wait for her to reschedule. She did the cancelling, so she should be the one to suggest a time and place where she’d be able to show up for your date. While it’s usually the guy’s job to suggest the date venue (old-fashioned, yes, but still very much in practice), it’s her call because she is the reason this current date didn’t happen.
Why should you wait for her suggestion when you have a pretty good make-up date idea anyway? It shows you just how interested she is in seeing you again in the future. She may have a perfectly valid excuse to cancel, but it’s her next move that will show you how interested she is. Now if she makes a solid suggestion complete with a time and place, then great! Set it up! However, if she makes a wishy-washy suggestion like “Let’s get coffee sometime this… year,” then it may be a sign that she’s not interested in seeing you.
5. Invite her on another date. Let’s say you couldn’t help but make the suggestion anyway because you’re the guy and you’re supposed to be the one doing the asking. Go ahead and make a suggestion on when and where you can see each other. Gauge her reaction and see if she’s interested. A girl who’s interested would either say yes immediately or come up with a suggestion of her own. On the other hand, a girl who is not interested would give you a vague answer like “Let’s see” or “I’ll text you” or just outright reject every idea you give. If it’s the latter, then take a hint and accept that she’s not that into you.
6. Go out. You’re already dressed in your best and there’s no reason this cancellation should hinder your plans to go out. You’re a free man who can have fun alone or with friends. If she really got you down by cancelling your date, lift yourself back up by enjoying the rest of your evening. Meet new people, hang out at your usual spot, or invite your friends.
7. Move on. We mean this whether or not your rescheduled date pushed through. If there seems to be no hope for that make-up date, then don’t push the issue. Don’t get desperate and pester her with date suggestions. Instead, take it in stride, thank her for her time, and just accept that the two of you ain’t happening.
On the other hand, if you do manage to go on that next date and a few more afterwards, we’re telling you to move on from the cancelled date. Don’t let it mar what might be the beginning of a great relationship. Like we said, she could have a perfectly valid reason for cancelling, so you shouldn’t hold that against her.
A cancelled date doesn’t have to be a big deal because you can always reschedule. And if in case you feel like she cancelled because she’s not interested, try to see it as a dodged bullet and breathe a sigh of relief!