In the heat of the moment, when passions are high, the last thing that you want to hear is the word, “No.” No matter how much you want to continue or how intense your make-out sesh was, when a girl says no, it means no.
Think About It
We know it’s hard, because you feel ready to take things to the next level, but you really have to think about it. Think about how she may be feeling at this time. Surely, she doesn’t like letting you down, but maybe she is not as ready as you are. Keep in mind that not everyone has the same experience or wants the same experience just yet.
Consider Why She Said No
There is a plethora of reasons why she may be resistant to your advances. You should consider whether or not this would be her first time. You can also consider that she may have gone through a previous trauma, that might turn her off from sex completely. You may even want to just be straightforward and ask her why she said no. Of course, you don’t want to seem rude of insistent. This will only make her feel more pressured and could cause her to be dishonest about her reasoning. If you really like her, it’s important to understand where she is coming from. Whether she wants to discuss it or not is completely up to her.
Don’t Make Her Feel Bad
Everyone has the right to say no and that is totally okay! Making her feel bad for saying no is the worst thing that you can possibly do. You may risk blowing the whole relationship if you try to make her feel horrible for the rejection or if you try to pressure her. Neither are proper ways of dealing with the word no. Lashing out at her only goes to show that you are immature. It’s important to remember to stay calm and empathetic in situations like these. Everyone shares the right to refuse advances if they see fit. This is the law and you should abide by it.
Think Of the Consequences
Although it seems so easy to continue on when she says no, there are consequences for those type of actions. Not only should you morally feel obligated to respect her when she says no, there are also laws put in place that bring justice against those who don’t abide by the law. You can serve jail time for even one touch after she has already stated no. You may also become what is called a “sexual offender” and be put on a national list saying so. This will make it difficult to find housing, be around children or get a job. Not only will you suffer consequences, but she will as well. Women can suffer from trauma when being sexually assaulted. They will have to testify against you in a court of law. This can be extremely emotionally distressing to her. She may not be allowed to speak to you again or she may simply just not want to speak with you ever again. If you care about her at all, you will respect her stance when she says no.
Wait Or Move On
What this really all comes down to is one decision. Do you want to wait until she is ready or would you like to move on? There technically should be no in between. You must decide if she is worth waiting for. Think about how much you care for her, if she is worth the wait or if you’d prefer to try elsewhere. If you really feel the need to be sexual and don’t feel as if you want to wait until she is ready then it is up to you to find someone who is on the same page as you. You cannot project your frustrations out on to someone like her. It’s normal to say no and it’s important to let her know that she’s at no fault just because she said it.
The Importance of Consent
We no longer live in the dark ages. Consent is more than mandatory when it comes to sexual behavior. When a woman or a man says no, it truly means NO. It’s up to you to follow a strong code of ethics and make the right decisions when it comes to a situation, or situations, like this one. Respect is important in any relationship. It’s crucial to listen to what your partner is saying. It is also important to make sure that they feel safe with you. You need to be willing to listen to your partner, even if the two of you are not in a committed relationship. Try putting yourself in her shoes, to get an idea of how she feels and where her decision is coming from.