You see him from across the room. He is a masterpiece, a fine, fine example of the a man! Wow! He is looking at you and is coming over to your table. You can feel all your nerves tingling and jumping up and down for joy! He is smiling as he approaches your table. There are those moments in your life when you do something you know deep down you shouldn’t really do.
Like, speeding, yes, it is wrong but the majority of people speed on occasion or even roll through a stop sign. Don’t deny it, we all have had little slips now and again. Bottom line is that it is part of human nature to try something we know isn’t really right and we shouldn’t do it! The thrill of danger and excitement is too hard to ignore! Then, you have a sense of power after you get away with it. But, do you ever really get away without a single consequence? When speeding, you could.
But in matters of the heart, you may find yourself in a bad, drama filled nightmare! Have you ever seen this gorgeous guy (who you know has a girlfriend) and flirt with him anyway?! You are not alone! Sometimes harmless flirting is just that – harmless. But the key is not crossing the line with him. He has a girlfriend, he is taken, leave him alone.
Sometimes, you do find yourself tempted to ignore your conscious and mess around with him. Things could be even trickier if he wants to mess around behind his girlfriend’s back too! STOP! Think about the consequences and these other things:
Are you exciting to him because you are you – or because you are new?
Maybe he is bored in his relationship and isn’t sure how to end it, or he wants to spice up his life a little bit, and he sees you as the perfect escape. But that is all you are – an escape, a fling, a one-night stand. People who are willing to cheat in a relationship just want some excitement, they want a change (it may have absolutely nothing at all to do with you).
Depending on how long he has been with his girlfriend, he may not really want that relationship to end. You could be just a fling for him. You deserve better than this guy. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but resist the urge to do something you will soon regret!
If you are okay with just a one night, one-time romp in the sack, then fine. But don’t think that one night with you will rock his world, and you both will be headed to Vegas in the morning!
Lies come easily to liars
When you talk to him, does he tell you horrible stories about his cranky, mean, and nasty girlfriend?! Is he painting an awful picture of her to you? Think about it, if all the things he is saying are true, why hasn’t he dumped her like yesterday’s garbage?
This guy could be nominated for an academy award if he convinces you he is an angel and his girlfriend is some sort of demon! Exaggerating about a partner is a sure sign a person is willing to cheat on them. They do it for two reasons, one, it justifies cheating in their head, and two, they get some sympathy from the person they cheat with.
Again, STOP! What is to stop him from lying about you in the future to some other girl? Once a liar, always a liar. Don’t trust someone who is willing to lie just to get you into bed. He has no shame, and he will keep playing this game no matter who he is with. Leave the scum be and find a decent man.
What if the girlfriend finds out?!
Okay, so the two of you do end up spending the night together, and things got physical. Imagine that his girlfriend somehow managed to find out about it. Now what? There is a small chance that she won’t try to get back at you and there will be no consequences for you at all (for destroying a relationship).
But then again, the drama that could unfold could be intense! Talk about living in a soap opera! The girlfriend may come after you, and your life would be turned upside down! How would it make you feel to see a relationship crash and burn and know it was all your fault?! Can you handle the drama? If you don’t want to deal with it, find a guy who isn’t seeing someone else.
Okay, so what if you slept with a guy that had a girlfriend and he likes you (really likes you)? Praise Jesus, Hallelujah – right?! Wrong!
Take a stand and be clear
You can’t flirt with someone and then back off if he returns the flirting. That isn’t fair. Don’t send mixed signals. Think about the messages you are sending and be prepared for the responses you get back.
Let sleeping dogs lie – he is taken, let him be
Have some respect for this other woman – sure, you want him, but he is with someone else. What if the proverbial shoe was on the other foot – what if you had a boyfriend and another girl slept with him?! Do you really want your future boyfriend to be the one who is willing to be with someone he met once at a party?!
What kind of future boyfriend would he really be? He is not the man for you! Maybe this guy doesn’t know what he wants. He changes his mind as often as he changes his socks. He needs to grow up, and you need to give him space.
Let the two of them figure out their relationship. If they are on rocky ground, the relationship may end on its own. If he was just looking for a fling, again (and we sound like a broken record here), he isn’t the man for you. You deserve so much better.
Step in to ‘save the day’ once things settle down
Waiting to see if their relationship lasts or not is a solid plan. No one is saying it will be easy – but he is taken. The best, most responsible, way to get yourself a boyfriend is to find one that is single. That way you can avoid the drama and displeasure of being the “other” woman.
If you are an impatient person, this waiting game will be a nightmare. But you deserve a decent shot at your own relationship. Besides, if he isn’t worth waiting for, then he isn’t worth waiting for (if you catch the drift).
Last Straw – you don’t want to wait, you want him now! Who cares about being nice and the girlfriend?!
If this is you, you need to take a chill pill. NO guy is worth the drama and pain that could result if you break up his current relationship. If you are willing just to dive in and be a ‘home-wrecker’ without any regard to any one’s feelings but your own – you could have an unhealthy obsession. As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea. There is a great chance that somewhere in this world there is a perfect guy out there for you, and he isn’t already taken. Make it your life’s mission to find him!
You may be a victim of low self-esteem. Take a hard look at yourself. Do you have a pattern of stepping into other people’s relationships just for a fling?! You deserve to be happy and not just a fling. Love is not a competition. Find a man who loves you just as you are – not for what you may provide in a single moment.
It might be a best to step away from the dating scene altogether. Find some perspective, find peace, find yourself. What do you really want in life? Learn to love you first and then you can find someone else to love.
Don’t let hormones be your guide. If you do drama is guaranteed!
Ever hear people say that they ‘didn’t mean’ for this to happen? That thing just took on a life of their own and escalated? Sure, that is common. Everything starts out simple, fun, and innocent. But things can get out of control in the blink of an eye when hormones and sex appeal enter into the equation.
You have to be on guard for this at all times! Set boundaries for yourself and don’t ever cross them! Have self-respect, have love for you, and don’t be weak. If you seem like an ‘easy’ mark, a taken man who wants to cheat will take advantage of you! Don’t find yourself saying you just want to see ‘how it goes.’ That is a bad piece of advice! Things will probably go down in a way you don’t want them to!
All you need to do is ask yourself one simple question. The crucial part is to be sure to give yourself an honest answer. The question to ask yourself is “where is this going?” If the only answer you can think of is ‘no place good’ – trust yourself. You know what to do next.