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What To Do When A Guy Likes You But Has A Girlfriend

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You see him from across the room. He is a masterpiece, a fine, fine example of the a man! Wow! He is looking at you and is coming over to your table. You can feel all your nerves tingling and jumping up and down for joy! He is smiling as he approaches your table. There are those moments in your life when you do something you know deep down you shouldn’t really do.

Like, speeding, yes, it is wrong but the majority of people speed on occasion or even roll through a stop sign. Don’t deny it, we all have had little slips now and again. Bottom line is that it is part of human nature to try something we know isn’t really right and we shouldn’t do it! The thrill of danger and excitement is too hard to ignore! Then, you have a sense of power after you get away with it. But, do you ever really get away without a single consequence? When speeding, you could.

But in matters of the heart, you may find yourself in a bad, drama filled nightmare! Have you ever seen this gorgeous guy (who you know has a girlfriend) and flirt with him anyway?! You are not alone! Sometimes harmless flirting is just that – harmless. But the key is not crossing the line with him. He has a girlfriend, he is taken, leave him alone.

Sometimes, you do find yourself tempted to ignore your conscious and mess around with him. Things could be even trickier if he wants to mess around behind his girlfriend’s back too! STOP! Think about the consequences and these other things:

Are you exciting to him because you are you – or because you are new?

Maybe he is bored in his relationship and isn’t sure how to end it, or he wants to spice up his life a little bit, and he sees you as the perfect escape. But that is all you are – an escape, a fling, a one-night stand. People who are willing to cheat in a relationship just want some excitement, they want a change (it may have absolutely nothing at all to do with you).

Depending on how long he has been with his girlfriend, he may not really want that relationship to end. You could be just a fling for him. You deserve better than this guy. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but resist the urge to do something you will soon regret!

If you are okay with just a one night, one-time romp in the sack, then fine. But don’t think that one night with you will rock his world, and you both will be headed to Vegas in the morning!

Lies come easily to liars

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When you talk to him, does he tell you horrible stories about his cranky, mean, and nasty girlfriend?! Is he painting an awful picture of her to you? Think about it, if all the things he is saying are true, why hasn’t he dumped her like yesterday’s garbage?

This guy could be nominated for an academy award if he convinces you he is an angel and his girlfriend is some sort of demon! Exaggerating about a partner is a sure sign a person is willing to cheat on them. They do it for two reasons, one, it justifies cheating in their head, and two, they get some sympathy from the person they cheat with.

Again, STOP! What is to stop him from lying about you in the future to some other girl? Once a liar, always a liar. Don’t trust someone who is willing to lie just to get you into bed. He has no shame, and he will keep playing this game no matter who he is with. Leave the scum be and find a decent man.

What if the girlfriend finds out?!

Okay, so the two of you do end up spending the night together, and things got physical. Imagine that his girlfriend somehow managed to find out about it. Now what? There is a small chance that she won’t try to get back at you and there will be no consequences for you at all (for destroying a relationship).

But then again, the drama that could unfold could be intense! Talk about living in a soap opera! The girlfriend may come after you, and your life would be turned upside down! How would it make you feel to see a relationship crash and burn and know it was all your fault?! Can you handle the drama? If you don’t want to deal with it, find a guy who isn’t seeing someone else.

Okay, so what if you slept with a guy that had a girlfriend and he likes you (really likes you)? Praise Jesus, Hallelujah – right?! Wrong!

Take a stand and be clear

You can’t flirt with someone and then back off if he returns the flirting. That isn’t fair. Don’t send mixed signals. Think about the messages you are sending and be prepared for the responses you get back.

Let sleeping dogs lie – he is taken, let him be

Have some respect for this other woman – sure, you want him, but he is with someone else. What if the proverbial shoe was on the other foot – what if you had a boyfriend and another girl slept with him?! Do you really want your future boyfriend to be the one who is willing to be with someone he met once at a party?!



What kind of future boyfriend would he really be? He is not the man for you! Maybe this guy doesn’t know what he wants. He changes his mind as often as he changes his socks. He needs to grow up, and you need to give him space.

Let the two of them figure out their relationship. If they are on rocky ground, the relationship may end on its own. If he was just looking for a fling, again (and we sound like a broken record here), he isn’t the man for you. You deserve so much better.

Step in to ‘save the day’ once things settle down

Waiting to see if their relationship lasts or not is a solid plan. No one is saying it will be easy – but he is taken. The best, most responsible, way to get yourself a boyfriend is to find one that is single. That way you can avoid the drama and displeasure of being the “other” woman.

If you are an impatient person, this waiting game will be a nightmare. But you deserve a decent shot at your own relationship. Besides, if he isn’t worth waiting for, then he isn’t worth waiting for (if you catch the drift).

Last Straw – you don’t want to wait, you want him now! Who cares about being nice and the girlfriend?!

If this is you, you need to take a chill pill. NO guy is worth the drama and pain that could result if you break up his current relationship. If you are willing just to dive in and be a ‘home-wrecker’ without any regard to any one’s feelings but your own – you could have an unhealthy obsession. As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea. There is a great chance that somewhere in this world there is a perfect guy out there for you, and he isn’t already taken. Make it your life’s mission to find him!

You may be a victim of low self-esteem. Take a hard look at yourself. Do you have a pattern of stepping into other people’s relationships just for a fling?! You deserve to be happy and not just a fling. Love is not a competition. Find a man who loves you just as you are – not for what you may provide in a single moment.

It might be a best to step away from the dating scene altogether. Find some perspective, find peace, find yourself. What do you really want in life? Learn to love you first and then you can find someone else to love.

Don’t let hormones be your guide. If you do drama is guaranteed!

Ever hear people say that they ‘didn’t mean’ for this to happen? That thing just took on a life of their own and escalated? Sure, that is common. Everything starts out simple, fun, and innocent. But things can get out of control in the blink of an eye when hormones and sex appeal enter into the equation.

You have to be on guard for this at all times! Set boundaries for yourself and don’t ever cross them! Have self-respect, have love for you, and don’t be weak. If you seem like an ‘easy’ mark, a taken man who wants to cheat will take advantage of you! Don’t find yourself saying you just want to see ‘how it goes.’ That is a bad piece of advice! Things will probably go down in a way you don’t want them to!

All you need to do is ask yourself one simple question. The crucial part is to be sure to give yourself an honest answer. The question to ask yourself is “where is this going?” If the only answer you can think of is ‘no place good’ – trust yourself. You know what to do next.

46 COMMENTS

  1. My best friend has a girlfriend and has been with her for about half a year and he likes me and I like him, she has a problem with jealousy she used to get jealous from when me and him used to be just friends but now are feelings got bigger and he wants everyone to know he loved me but I’m scared to let everyone know though I do like him I don’t want her to be upset, he told her he loved me and she didn’t care that much because she liked someone else as well so now I’m confused do I get with him or will people talk shit about what happened?

    • If they are currently in a relationship, then do not attempt to develop a relationship with him. If their relationship naturally ends, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings at that time. It sounds as though their relationship may be close to ending, so ensure that you continue to share your kindness and compassion with him at all times. Have a great day, Dots!

  2. I have a crush on this other guy and I might have told him that I like him and I can tell by the way he looks and talks to me that he likes me too let me just say he loves me coz he has used the 3 magical words “ I love you” I told him not to use them unless he meant them but he continued to use them after I told him that. What do I do ?

    • It is possible that he is interested in a developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Starlet!

  3. I have a crush on someone who lives in another country. We met recently because he’s friends with someone of my friends. We all went dancing one night and he came up to me and we danced and he asked me if I liked him and he told me he liked me. He asked how often I would travel there because he was interested in me, by the end of the night he had planted a kiss on me. I didn’t see him again because I came back to my hometown the next day, he called me and said we’d keep in touch when I got here. I found out he has a girlfriend but does that invalidate everything he told me? I really like him and I’m going again next month and he told me we could go out again. Does he like me? Should I talk to him about his girlfriend? What do I do with my feelings for him?

    • He has a girlfriend. Do not attempt to damage their relationship. His feelings may have been true, though there is no benefit to be gained my attempting to establish a relationship with him at this time. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. If his relationship naturally ends, then determine what you want for this relationship in the future. Have a great day, Petra!

  4. I have a crush on this guy and we’re relatively close. Im in high school by the way. He has a girlfriend but his girlfriend doesn’t treat him right whatsoever. She sat on this one guys lap and at school I always see her hugging some other guy EXCEPT her boyfriend?? They recently broke up but I’m pretty sure they’re getting back together, sadly. They’ve been dating for over a year and I don’t even know how to feel. Any advice?

    • He is in a relationship. Allow these thoughts to fade. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If his relationship naturally ends, then speak directly and honestly with him at that time. Do not attempt to damage their relationship at this time. Have a great day, Elle!

  5. I have fallen for my previous boss that has a girlfriend, so hard, and when I finally started to notice how hard I was falling for him I saw an opportunity to a new store opening. Being that I knew I would advance my position by being promoted I automatically took the offer. I miss him like crazy all the time. The whole time I worked for him I kept seeing him do these things to get my attention purposely wanting to spend time with me, always always always around me, never taking his eyes off of me. It got the point where I could visually see myself as his girlfriend more than his own, by how he’d choose to be at work with me more. We do have a connection that deepens the more I’m around him but, I’ve always kept things strictly professional. He was my store director at the time just like I was his cashier. I can’t cross that line. I want to but, I know it isn’t right. To this day as far as I know he does still have a girlfriend. I keep my distance from him as much as I can. I do notice he isn’t happy with her and would love to find someone that’s makes him happier. I want to be that woman for him soooo bad. I have never ever ever made that known to him. I visited his store yesterday and the day before, yesterday he wasn’t there when I went shopping and then all the sudden he was on his day off. I was amazingly happy to see him being that I hadn’t in 2 months. I was the first person he went to when he arrived. He was so lit up like a little candle to see me again. He told me, “Hi” and that he heard I wasn’t having any fun at the new store. I said, “uhhhh” (so nervous) then shrugged my shoulders and gave him no words. I don’t want to be the other woman that ends his realationship I am not by no means that type of woman he can cheat on his girlfriend with, I respect her and him. I do want a relationship with him. I know I do. But, the way I see it is he’d have to be single first.

    • He has a girlfriend. There is no reason for your to attempt to establish a relationship with him. If his relationship naturally ends, then determine what you want for your future at that time. For now, focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Have a great day, Abcde!

  6. So I met a guy online through a game. And then he asked for my number so I gave it to him. Then I found out he has a girlfriend of two years but he’s over here telling me he likes me, even said I love you a couple of time and calling me babe. He stops talking to me for certain hours of the day and I asked why and he is like I was with my girlfriend. I’m not the type to interfere with relationships and I’ve told him that and he stills says the same stuff. I’ve thrown the friend word out there so many times and he still like kinda ignores that and calls me babe. Well I have many friends and they don’t call me babe. So what do I do about this dude? I don’t think he understands i am just a friend. I may stop talking to him but I don’t know. What are your thoughts?

    • He is in a relationship. You understand that there is no benefit to be gained in damaging his relationship or harming his partner. If he does not treat you are a friend and continues to treat you in a manner that you do not want, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. If his relationship naturally ends, then determine what you want for your future at that time. Have a great day, Jane!

  7. I have liked a guy for two months and he has been dating my best friend for almost 5 weeks and he said If he wasn’t dating her he would be happy with me. And I have been in a relationship with this girl (I’m bi sexual) that he is dating and she always breaks up with people very quickly. Being me I don’t think this relationship will last long but I wanna date him. Advice?

    • The two of you are in relationships. Do not attempt to harm his relationship. Do not harm your current partner. If your relationship naturally ends and he is available, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings at that time. Focus your emotional energy on your current partner, or speak directly and honestly with her about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Liberty!

  8. I met this guy on instagram. I asked him if he liked me and he said “Of course I do! But not as a crush! I already have a girlfriend, sorry!” Meanwhile before that and even today, he calls me beautiful and an angel and sends me heart emojis and he said that he would never leave my side. And I said is that true or are you trying to joke around with me? And he said that he means it from his heart. I asked my friend and she said that he likes me, but I don’t know if he does like me back and lied that he has a girlfriend because he was too nervous to tell me and didn’t want to find out, or is he just a nice, really flirty guy? I’m confused and I need help!

    • He is in a relationship. He may be interested in maintaining a friendly relationship with you. Do not attempt to damage his relationship. Do not attempt to harm his partner. Take this time to determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, Chloe!

  9. So I have this crush he dates s lot of girls. I don’t know why but i like him. My feelings are very big. Right now he has a girlfriend. They have been “talking” for a while now. They’ve been dating for about a week. He has been sending me messages saying that I’m fine and that he wants me. His girlfriend is my friend. I know he is a fuck boy but I can’t stop my feelings. He broke up with her today and asked me out. I left him on seen. How do I get rid of these feelings? Do i date him? Help me please

    • He just ended a relationship. His girlfriend was your friend. There is no reason to attempt to nourish a romantic relationship with this person. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Take this time to determine what you want for your future without this person. If you decide that you want to develop a relationship with this person, then speak with your friend about her thoughts and feelings regarding you developing a relationship with her ex. Have a great day, Elena

  10. Sooo I accidentally started to gain feelings for this guy and he has a girlfriend but I still can’t control these feelings… I know he has feelings for me too and his girlfriend already found out that we were talking yet she still stayed with him and said they can just ‘Get past this.’ I really don’t know what to do bc me and this boy have a strongggg connection and it’s already really hard for me to catch feelings for people and I finally caught them for someone that I shouldn’t have… Im so stuck and just don’t know what to do. We were gonna hang out soon too but I just feel so guilty and hurt.

    • He is in a relationship. Control your feelings. There is no reason to attempt to damage their relationship. Allow thoughts of this person to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. If his relationship naturally ends, then take that time to determine what you want for your future. Have a great day, Taylor!

  11. There’s a guy that I met a few months ago and he publishes my cds and he previously broke up with his first gf and got in a relationship with another girl, but I found out recently he likes me and I REALLLY like him… the other night things got a little spicy but that’s it… I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want to be miserable and feel like I’m being used, what do I do

    • He is in a relationship. There is no reason to nourish a relationship with him. Do not harm his partner. Focus your emotional attention elsewhere. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If he becomes available and you want to establish a relationship with him at that time, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Faith!

  12. This guy and I have been seeing each other for 4 months now. We have known one another for 21 years and have had sexual encounters off and on before. This time he has a girlfriend she’s 13 years younger than him and I’m 3 years younger than him. He was upfront about her. We had sexual history before but this time it’s different. He text me every morning and we communicate throughout the day as well as the night. When she isn’t there I am. He tells me he misses me and that she is too clingy. I’ve always told him he can be upfront and honest with me and if we need to stop we can. Our connection and chemistry is crazy. I can be myself with him and feel 100% comfortable with him. He’s said he wonders what it would be like with us. I just don’t know what to think.

    • He is currently in a relationship. Do not attempt to damage their relationship. Focus your emotional attention elsewhere. If his relationship naturally ends and he reaches out to you, then determine what you want with this relationship at that time. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Kristy!

  13. okay…i dont know how can i start…
    so i like guy who is taken and i cant control my feelings. i think he likes me too bcz everyday in school he look at me we have eye contact… when he saw me he just look at me so hard i cant even tell you how deep is his eyes… every night i think about him i cant sleep bcz of him. i cant tell my friends bcz his girlfriend is my friends friend, not mine… i feel so bad bcz i cant tell anybody. i want him so badddd and i know he likes me too… he liked my pics in instagram. he knows mee. i cant hide my feelings what the heck can i doo?

    • It is certainly possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Alissa!

  14. I met the guy I like a Couple months ago,and we started casually flirting .I realised later he was in a relationship and I was really conflicted about it.I eventually convinced myself ,we can be Friends cause I didn’t want to end the connection we had.Now things Have Escalated and we are Seeing each other. part of me wants to leave cause it feels wrong the other part Keeps me in place always second guessing myself,content with being in the background. I don’t know what to do.Its so frustrating.I didn’t think it’d be so hard to leave.

    • If he is in a relationship at this time, then immediately end your relationship. If he is not dating someone else, then your relationship may be maintained. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Ensure that you do not harm people with the decision that you make. Have a great day, Rose!

  15. I have a crush on a guy who has a girlfriend obviously and we became friends. Things got complicated, I tried to distance myself from him but when I tried to bring up the topic about her gf, he changes it. I also noticed the way he secretly glances at me and when I catch him staring, he looks away. He also treats me differently with other girls and is happy when he sees me. Why is he like that? Isn’t he happy with his current relationship?

    • He is in a relationship. There is no reason to attempt to nourish a relationship with him at this time. Allow thoughts him to fade. If his relationship naturally ends and he reaches out to you, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. It is acceptable to continue to share your kindness and compassion with them. Have a great day, Martha!

  16. We were in a relationship “30”+ years ago went on with our lives…I am a little younger than him.. he is now divorced and has a current g.f.
    At the time we ‘re-connected” they were not together. Now they are back together..he has been completely honest with me.. I look alot younger than her and have no ties, no drama.
    Web ‘re-kindled our relationship and even though he is with this person he constantly pursues me, calls , texts, I mean all day and night! I do not initiate any of it.. because I really love him alot.. and am hoping he ends it with her. I think he is just comfortable with her “family life”..I live 4 hours away and he drives it to see me. I really want more, but just can’t let go.. We had that passion 30 years ago and apparently it never left us…

    • It sounds as though the two of you share a strong emotional connection. Decide if this relationship is viable. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Irena!

  17. Hey, I met a guy in university he saw me first and started flirting with me first. I knew this guy for a few months til he told me he had a girlfriend. At first i thought he was joking because, there is literally zero evidence of her. But as time went on i realised it was true. I had a little crush on him and he the same. He even made me food when i was sick and gave me medicine. He is really attentive and caring. However he still has a girlfriend. A few days ago I told him that i liked him and he said that he does too. We met up the following day and it ended with us kissing. I feel really bad about it but we have such a strong connection that i couldn’t help but to kiss him. I told him that i am nobodies side chick and he can’t have his cake and eat it too. He said he understands and doesn’t want me or his girl to get hurt. On the phone before we told each other we liked ourselves we were talking about the exact same situation we’re in and he was using metaphors to describe how he really feels he said that ‘sometimes the relationship isn’t up to scratch.’ which gives me the idea that the relationship is coming to an end. He doesn’t say anything about her i don’t even know her name or anything. he doesn’t tell me how the relationship is going or anything so i can’t really understand where the relationship is at this point. I told him if he chooses to continue on with his girlfriend that we can only be friends. they have been going out for nearly 2 years, it will be 2years in june.

    my question is 1) has he officially cheated by cuddling and kissing me ?
    2) do you think he will leave his girlfriend for me? he hasn’t made mention of that yet, but i only told him i liked him like 2 days ago.
    3) what should i say to him, should i give him an ultimatium or completely forget abut our friendship because, honestly don’t think we can be friends.

    • Do not concern yourself with his previous actions. He is in a relationship. There is no reason to attempt to nourish a relationship. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Take this time to determine what you want for your future without him. If he becomes single and reaches out to you, then share your thoughts and feelings with him at that time. Have a great day, Sandra!

  18. There is a guy i met in the same place where i am working, i knew it from the start that he has a long time girlfriend, that time the feeling was normal like smiling when we are crossing the path, but suddenly when the time goes by I feel like i make i like him already, specially sometime when he see me he is giving me something like the his hand written note, which is simple way he did made me feel special. But i know it’s wrong bcoz i know it that he has girlfriend and sooner and later we are chatting each other like normal hi hello how are u. At the end this things made me fall me harder to him until I realize I always miss him when the one day I couldn’t see him.i think i fall inlove with him bcoz i felt jealous when i know and i heard that he is with his girlfriend. Can u please give me some advice what will i do? Thank you!

    • You shouldn’t do anything. You have to respect his relationship. Plus, if he left his girlfriend for you or cheated on her with you, you would always be afraid that he would just do the same thing again. It sounds possible that he could have feelings for you if he was single, but there is no way to know until he is actually single. All you can do now is forget about it. If it is too hard to be friends when you still have feelings for him, then you might have to hold off on the friendship until you have moved on enough. It won’t be easy, but it is all you can do until he is single or you have moved on completely. Good luck, Kz!

  19. Im sleeping with an older man who has a woman. They’ve been together for almost 3 years. He tells me he’s not ready to get married. He tells me his feelings are real for me but he has to keep them in check cause he has a girlfriend. We have great sex. I have strong feelings for him but i dont know what to do. I want to tell him how i feel but im afraid to lose him. What should i do?

    • He is in a relationship. You should no longer nourish this relationship. Allow thoughts of him to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. He is not willing to treat you with the respect that is required for a successful relationship. Determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, Joanne!

      • I understand. It’s just that the things he say gets to me. He said he was addicted to me and that he’s crazy over heels about me. Sometimes I feel like he says certain things just to get with me. He said he likes talking to me. I wanted to tell him that I think that I am falling in love with him. I think he might feel the same way, but I don’t know. If I tell him, he might actually tell me how he feels. The relationship might even end then. Should I do that?

        • It is best to determine what the two of you want for the future of this relationship. Determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Joanne!

  20. I understand. It’s just that the things he say gets to me. He said he was addicted to me and that he was crazy over heels about me. Sometimes I feel like he says certain things just to get with me. I want to tell him that I might be falling in love with him just to see how he might feel. He might not even feel the same way, but I want to at least say how I feel. We’ve always talked about our feelings but I’m scared the l word is going to destroy our friendship because we were friends first. Is something wrong with me for feeling like this? I know I deserve better, but he’s very special to me.

    • It is best to determine what the two of you want for the future of this relationship. Determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Joanne!

  21. There is a guy at work. He’s not my type at all. I was not phisically attracted whatsoever.
    He’s been flirting with me since I started, but I did not pay attention.
    After some time, I started to feel attracted to his personality and was ready to go out.
    But.. I found out he has somebody for a couple of years now.. and it looks like she is not quite happy with him..
    I realize that I have to stay away, but he’s at work, at he wants me..
    How should I behave? for whatever reason, I stated to have the strongest attraction too..

    • He is currently in a relationship with him. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. His actions are unacceptable at this time. Decide if you believe this will influence your work life. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he does not respect your wishes, then speak with the company about his actions. Have a great day, Lexi!

  22. My childhood friend has a girlfriend who is far away from him dey are having a long distance relationship but he said he loves me..should I give a chance ??

    • He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He is currently in a relationship. Do not attempt to harm his relationship. If he reaches out to you, then explain that you will not attempt to nourish a romantic relationship while he has a girlfriend. Share your kindness and compassion with him at all times. Have a great day, Christabel!

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