Everyone woman who primarily dates men has come across the type of guy who just can’t seem to figure out whether or not he wants to be with you. Men who blow hot and cold are often the bane of every woman’s dating existence. Often times when they’re blowing hot, it’s amazing. They’re kind and attentive and seem to be really into you.
We can almost forget all of the times that they’ve turned cold, or trick ourselves into thinking that maybe the mood swings are over. Inevitably, though, the cold front comes in and you’re often left trying to figure out what you did wrong. (Hint: nothing!) So how do you deal with a man who is constantly blowing hot and cold? There’s a few solutions to figuring out this particular puzzle.
1. Don’t. As in, don’t deal with it
If you’ve been invested in a guy who is constantly flip-flopping on you like a Katy Perry song, then you don’t have to deal with it! If he really wants to be with you, he’ll get his act together and stop treating you differently based on the position of the moon, or whatever other reason he might have that causes him to go from being interested to flat out ignoring you. Remember, there are plenty of men who will want to be with you and who won’t be playing hot and cold games. Don’t be afraid to either pull back completely from a budding relationship, or to end a relationship altogether. You have to do what’s best for you in the long run.
If you’re a little more invested in this guy than just dropping him, you’ll want to try communicating with him. This might not always be the easiest route, but it’s the most direct one. Relationships only work when there’s open and honest communication between the both of you. Tell him what you want and what you expect out of a relationship. In turn, it’s important to listen to his needs, too. This style of communication may be just what you both need to get him to stop his hot and cold act and get himself together so that you two can move forward toward an honest try at a relationship.
3. Don’t take it personally
It’s probably not your fault that he’s acting like this. When he starts acting cold, the best thing that you can do for yourself is to just walk it off. Whatever his issue is, it’s most likely not to do with you or anything that you’ve done. Whether he’s playing hard to get or thinks that you’re there to tolerate his mood swings, it’s most likely his own issue. You don’t have to tolerate when he goes cold on you for no reason. Don’t internalize it as something that’s to do with you. You’ll be better able to handle his hot and cold sessions when you realize that it’s not fundamentally your fault.
4. Reinforce your boundaries
If you continually go back to a guy after he’s blown cold just because he’s hot again, it may be teaching him that he’s able to get away with this kind of behavior. You want to make sure that you stand your ground when it comes to how you want to be treated. You don’t deserve to have a guy blow hot and cold on you for no reason. Explain to him that you find the cold behavior inappropriate and that you would prefer if he either talked to you about what’s going on or learned to better handle his emotions. If he doesn’t respect the boundaries that you put up for your own emotional well being, then he’s not worth the time and effort.
There can be all kinds of difficulties when it comes to relationships. Mood swings aren’t uncommon, and everyone gets them sometimes. However, the guy’s mood swings are pretty much chronic and constant, it may be time to start thinking about how you want this relationship to go. While women often have the stereotype of blowing hot and cold, men can exhibit this behavior too.
No one should have to handle a flip-flopping of affection in their relationship, and everyone deserves to feel loved and secure. A relationship shouldn’t leave you questioning how he feels about you every couple of weeks. Coming to terms with handling a guy who blows hot and cold can be difficult, but in the end, it’s probably best that you confront this behavior sooner, rather than later. After all: there will be plenty of men who want to be with you, and trying to gauge your partner’s temperature each day isn’t the only way to have a relationship.