Home Love & Relationship What To Do When He Doesn’t Call

What To Do When He Doesn’t Call


After a date, there’s always those few days after of anticipation waiting for the guy to make the first move and call for a second date. Women have all experienced the eager hours of peeking at the phone and pretending that they’re too chill to care. But what happens when he doesn’t call?

There’s always a deep feeling of uncertainty, waiting as the days tick by after a first or second or even third date. There’s so many tips that dissect the exact amount of time to wait before considering that he may just not be ever going to call. So what do you do when he doesn’t? Trying to figure out the next steps after a date fails to call you can be fraught with a lot of uncharted territory and emotions.

1. Stay calm

The best thing to do when he fails to call you is to remember not to panic. There may be a perfectly logical explanation as to why he hasn’t made the first move. He may like you a lot and want to see you again, but simply be waiting for you to make the move. Some men are just as insecure when it comes to a first date as women can be. If his personality seems shy or reserved, he may not be the type to call you right away. Consider that he may also be extremely busy. With a lot of things like work engagements or projects, he may be just waiting for the right time to call you back and set up another date. The important thing is to stay relaxed and calm. If you’re calm, then it’ll be easy to deal with if the guy ends up not calling at all.

2. Don’t blame yourself

Even if he ends up never calling back, it’s important to know that it’s not likely anything you did. If the date didn’t go well, you would have known it. Maybe he just isn’t in a place in his life where he can really devote much time or energy into a relationship. That’s okay! Don’t take one man’s rejection of you as something that is fundamentally wrong with you as a person. Sometimes, people just don’t click. If he’s not interested, the best thing to do is to remember all of the people who do find you to be a worthwhile date. Whether or not he calls says nothing about your personality, your attractiveness or your worth. It simply means that he’s not interested.

3. Focus your energies elsewhere

The only thing obsessing over whether or not he’s going to call you back will do is drive you crazy. So, instead, focus your energy on other things. Whether those things are work, hobbies, friends or family, the best thing to do is put your mental energy on anything other than the guy. Being distracted will help you get over the fact that he hasn’t called sooner, and if he never ends up calling you’ll barely even notice. All of the energy that might have otherwise been spent going over every detail of your date will now be better spent on more positive things in your life. Who knows, you may even get all of those projects you put off started or finished!

4. Start moving forward

If he hasn’t called you back and it doesn’t look like he will, it’s time to start moving on. Looking for another guy or accepting offers for dates with someone else is a good thing and will help you get over this one lost date. Respond to some messages or go out to the bar with your friends. Dating around is nothing to be ashamed of, and it can often help you find the guy that’s right for you. If one guy isn’t responding to you or refuses to call after the date, then it’s his loss. If he decides to call after you’ve already found someone else who respects your time and energy, then it’s his loss, not yours! Keep your options open – don’t let yourself miss out on some really great guys because you’re too busy waiting to see if one is going to call.

Final Thoughts

Dating can be tricky, especially when you’re relying on the other person to work with you and make the relationship work. Sometimes, things just don’t work out. That doesn’t mean that you should keep hiding away! Get out there and go on another first date. You’ll be amazed at how many guys are out there that are eagerly awaiting to see if you’re interested in seeing them. When you connect with someone, you won’t ever have to worry about whether or not they’re going to call. Of course, not every relationship is going to work out – that’s just life, and it allows you to meet the one person you’re really meant to be with. If he’s not calling you back … then he’s clearly not the one!


  1. This article provides suggestions for never been married 20 something’s. What about divorced 40+? Options are limited to meet decent people.
    And what about when you dated them a while and they ditch you with no explanation?

    • The best option, at any age, is to always speak directly and honestly with the people who are in your life. Give them the opportunity to share themselves with you as well. There are always benefits to spending additional time with potential partners in person. Have a great day, Louana!


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