The end of a relationship can be difficult, no matter how it ends. When it ends amicably, it can still be difficult to move on from that time in your life. It can be even worse when the relationship ends before one person is ready. Or, more accurately: when one person dumps the other. While it can be hard on a man when dumped by a woman, more often than not women are left to cope with a lot of emotions after being dumped.
There’s a lot of different and often conflicting information out there when it comes to what exactly should be done after you’ve been dumped. Dealing with those feelings, some of them hurt, some of them indignation or sadness or anger, can take up a lot of emotional energy. So what should be done after you’ve been dumped?
1. Allow yourself to grieve
The first thing that should be done after the end of a relationship is to allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions. It’s important to let yourself feel without bottling it up. However, this doesn’t mean that you have to wallow in those feelings. Wallowing in them can make it difficult to move on when the time is right. Allowing yourself to experience the emotions, even if they’re negative, is an important part of the healing process. Take a day to yourself and process your feelings. The end of a relationship, especially when you’ve been dumped, can sometimes be a big life change, especially if it was a long term relationship.
2. Only do what makes you comfortable
Some people can very easily stand seeing their ex quite soon after the dumping. If you both run in the same social circles, or work together, it might be hard to stay out of their orbit. However, you should only see them if you want to. Don’t force yourself to try and stay friends or to be there for them emotionally if they’re also having a hard time. You should focus on yourself. Sometimes, it’s a good thing to be a little selfish, especially in the situation of being dumped. If your ex-partner wants to hash out everything that went wrong in the relationship for closure, remember that you should only do what feels comfortable to you.
3. Use your support system
Being with friends and family after you’ve been dumped is a good way to remember that you’re not alone. It can be easy to give into the loneliness after your relationship ends because there’s no other relationships in your life quite like it. But utilizing your support system can make the initial break up and the following days or weeks much easier. Confide in your friends and family how you’re feeling and you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to work through your emotions.
4. Treat yourself
Self-care is an important part of healing from an emotional loss. Being dumped can be an extremely emotional time. You have to be kind to yourself during this time. That may mean taking a mental health day off work, or drawing yourself a long, luxurious bath, or even buying yourself something nice. Get your favorite take out and icecream and do whatever you need to do to feel a little bit better. However, make sure that this indulgence and self care doesn’t turn into over-indulgence. Treating yourself and indulging in a little bit of self care to get yourself back on track emotionally means also knowing when enough is enough.
5. Don’t be afraid to move on
Don’t let being dumped stop you from experiencing all of the relationships around you that are yet to come. Take as much time as you need to get over your ex, and then get back in the saddle. Make sure not to jump into a new relationship right away without allowing yourself time to grieve the old one, or else the both of you are just going to end up hurt. Once you’ve had ample time to process being dumped, it’s time to let yourself be courted again. Meeting new people and discovering all of the new relationships that you can have will help make moving on easier. After all, there are so many people in the world with endless personalities and things to offer in a relationship. You will be certain to find someone else who will make you feel just as good as your previous partner did – or, even better.
Getting dumped can feel like the world is ending, but it’s important to remember that it isn’t. Each day keeps moving forward, and we have to remember to move forward with them. Getting dumped sucks, but there is a right way to move on from the devastated feeling without either pushing yourself too fast or allowing yourself to wallow in the feelings and never escape them. Once you’re able to move away from the emotional turmoil of being dumped, you’ll find that there’s a whole new world of relationships waiting for you to discover.