Every woman has probably come across a certain type of guy – you know, he seems into you, he texts you often, but he’s always seeming to flake on you when it comes to actually hanging out. It can be incredibly frustrating, especially when you don’t want to seem too pushy or clingy and drive him away with trying to get to the bottom of it. He constantly gets your hopes up and keeps talking about how the two of you have to hang out together, but he never follows through.
This is a classic flaky-boy maneuver. So what’s to be done? Trying to get inside the head of a guy who flakes can feel pointless, but you also deserve to know where you stand with him. There can be plenty of reasons why he tends to flake, from being the type of guy who has a hard time saying no, to just being really busy with both work and social engagements. Or, he might just not be into you. Fortunately, there’s plenty of ways to deal with a guy who flakes on you, regardless of the reason.
1. Make specific plans
A guy who flakes on you often does so because the plans that you make are too open ended, or tend to be optional. Maybe you often make vague plans to see one another, but it never happens because there’s no follow through. In order to get him to actually hang out with you, you may need to get rid of the optional hang-out and start making specific plans. There needs to be a date and time, so concerts, theatre and shows are the perfect way to lock down a date with a flaky guy. It makes it harder for him to bail at the last minute – plus, if he’s not into you, you’ll know because he’ll refuse the plans entirely.
2. Don’t respond to his texts
This is a good way to show him that you’re not interested in playing his back and forth games anymore. When he sends a text, don’t respond. If he’s really into you and feels that you’re worth putting the effort into seeing, he’ll send some follow up texts or even give you a call. This is a good way to lock down a flaky guy and make sure that he knows that you’re not into being left hanging on a string all the time. Turning the game back around on him will give him a taste of what it feels like to be flaked on. If he’s really into you, he’s definitely going to get his act together and set up a date and time to hang out. You probably won’t have to worry about him flaking on you after this.
3. Remind yourself it isn’t your fault
When someone flakes on you, it could be due to a lot of reasons – from being busy to just being forgetful. However, if a guy is consistently flaky, it may feel like it’s because of something fundamentally wrong with you. It can really dig at a woman’s self esteem when a guy constantly drops out of plans to hang out, especially when she’s into him. Remember, though: it’s his fault, not yours. If he’s not into you and he doesn’t tell you and instead continues to lead you on, then there’s something wrong with him. Not you. So, remind yourself that his being flaky has nothing to do with you. In fact, you’re probably better off knowing that he’s the type of guy who doesn’t respect your time.
4. Move on
Honestly, if you can’t seem to lock down a reason as to why he’s flaking and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight, the next best thing to do is just to move on. There are plenty of guys who will be into you and who will respect your time to either give you a reason why they can’t hang out, or keep the date and show up. It’s important to find someone who treats you right rather than hanging on hope for someone who consistently flakes on you. You’ll be much happier when you just move on and decide to find someone who is worth of your time and attention.
Getting stood up or having your plans constantly cancelled on can be a blow to any woman’s self esteem. Men tend to take these things less seriously than women do, so they may not even know that they’re hurting their feelings – or, they may know and not care. Either way, finding someone who’s worthy of your attention will always bring you more happiness than waiting around for a guy who consistently flakes on you. If he’s into you and wants to be around you, he’ll always find a way to work around his plans so you can see each other. If he doesn’t? Then it’s just time to move on and find someone who does.