When you got out on a few dates with a guy, or start up a rapport of messaging back and forth, it can feel totally out of place when he suddenly up and disappears on you. Sometimes, it’s for totally legitimate reasons – work, family, other engagements. Usually, men tend to come back after a few days of radio silence. This is pretty normal and not something you should worry about.
But what happens when a guy totally ghosts on you and doesn’t seem to be showing signs of reappearing? Getting ghosted on sucks – it’s not fun and it can be incredibly hurtful to feel like you’re so easily replaceable. Most women often don’t know how to handle this kind of situation, and aren’t sure how to proceed. There are specific Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to handling a guy going ghost on you.
1. Remember: it’s not your fault
This is probably the thing that most women go to automatically. Often times, we wonder if it’s our fault that he up and disappeared. You may wonder if you’re ugly, or have a bad personality. The truth of the matter is: no. It’s not your fault. If a guy ghosts on you and doesn’t tell you the reason, it’s more likely his own problems, not yours. Don’t jump to the conclusion that you’ve done something unforgivable, or that you’re unattractive. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you’re probably already over-reacting (just a tad).
2. Stay calm
When a guy goes MIA on you, don’t panic. The first thing you want to do is: nothing. After you’ve reassured yourself that whatever reason he decides to ghost you has little to do with you as a person, your next step is to just … do nothing. If you’ve sent him a couple of texts and he hasn’t responded to you, then just wait it out. Either he’s going to respond to you eventually, or he isn’t. There’s no point in sending him a million messages or calls in the hope that he responds. You can’t control other people – you can only control your own actions!
3. Stay busy
Keep yourself busy with friends, family and work. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of obsessing over him or why he’s not responding to you. Don’t lurk his social media profiles and don’t text or message people that he knows to see what he’s up to. This is only going to make you look like a crazy stalker. And let’s face it, if you’ve resorted to this, you kind of are. So keep yourself busy with your own social life and try not to let yourself worry over what he’s doing or who he’s doing it with. The most you can do is sit tight and wait.
4. Confront him
Eventually, it’s going to get to the point where the issue needs to be addressed. If he’s gone a week or so without responding to your messages, it’s time to confront him. Don’t do it in person if you run in the same social circles – that can get messy, fact. It can also cause an unneeded scene or drama. Instead, send him a message detailing why you find his ghosting behavior hurtful or unacceptable. Lay out your feelings in a calm and collected manner. You can also point out that he hasn’t replied to you in a while, and that you’re getting a bit worried after him. If you want to go the reconciling route, point out that you’d love to hear from him soon. Either he responds, or he doesn’t.
5. Move on
If he doesn’t respond to you, it might be time to just move on. Whatever the reason he ghosted you, he’s obviously not interested in connecting again. The best thing to do is to let it go. It might feel hurtful, but in the end you’re going to end up meeting a ton of great guys who would never pull this type of stunt on you. If a guy ghosts on you and doesn’t turn back up, you’re well within your right to start seeing someone else who appreciates and respects your time. After all, there are going to be plenty of men in your life who know how to treat you right. You don’t have to settle for someone who strings you along before dropping you after a few weeks.
So, yes – being ghosted sucks, and it can be difficult to figure out just how to deal with it. Hopefully, this has given you some insight on how to respond when a guy ends up going MIA in the middle of a budding relationship. Whether or not the reason for his disappearance is a good one, there’s still the proper way to handle being ghosted. In the end, it’s up to you whether you want to keep pursuing him.