Relationships can be exciting, fulfilling, filled with adventure, and – at times – oh so very stressful! No one gets into a relationship hoping that it will be over in a day or two. We are social creatures and need human interaction to be at our best. But, we aren’t mind readers, but sometimes we act as if our boyfriends should be able to read our minds – and that they should do everything we tell them (and even things we don’t tell them) to do.
But it will inevitably happen – your boyfriend will do something that hurts your feelings. You probably do some things that hurt his feelings too. Men and women handle those types of situations completely differently. Being in an adult relationship means that even if your feelings were hurt, you need to take care of it with a cool head.
He may not even know that his actions hurt you; he probably didn’t do it on purpose. So, what should you do? Well, it isn’t easy to always take a moment and think, but the most important thing is that you keep calm and don’t fly off the handle right away.
Then the second most important thing you can do is simply tell him your feelings were hurt
How is the poor guy supposed to know that if you don’t tell him?! Be honest with him and give him a chance to respond. By allowing him the opportunity to think about what he did, he also has the opportunity to apologize. You are important to him, and if he loves you, he won’t want to see you hurting.
Once he does apologize, make sure you forgive him and then you both can move on!
Let us face it, guys are wired completely differently than we are – so, you may have to explain to him why his actions hurt your feelings. You may not always agree or completely understand each other, but talking about the things that upset you will make your relationship stronger.
One of the worst things you can do is assume the worst about him and his actions!
You need to give him the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise, your relationship will suffer. He is your boyfriend because you two feel something for each other, and you should be willing to give him a chance to explain himself or to understand where you are coming from – he is a good guy who did a stupid thing – it happens!
Sometimes, after you have told him how he feels, he may need time to process it
Give him time and space to think about what he did and how it made you feel. Again, guys are different from women. Maybe you both need a little space before talking about it again. One of the best pieces of advice anyone can give a couple is to listen to each other. What if you misunderstood what he did? What if your reaction was the complete opposite of what he expected?!
Communication, communication, communication. Don’t let things fester and get all out of proportion in your mind. Listen to what he has to say, there could be a perfectly simple explanation for his actions. If you don’t give him a chance to explain himself, you are not being fair to him. He has feelings too, and you both should respect each other enough to listen. If you are in it for the long haul, listening and communicating are essential.
If your feelings get hurt a lot in your relationship, you should take stock
Take some time to evaluate your relationship – with your boyfriend and with yourself. A man who hurts your feelings on a regular basis isn’t good enough for you. People in committed relationships are supposed to support and build each other up, they don’t hurt each other on purpose. So, if you are hurt more than a few times a week by your man, give your relationship a hard look. No knight in shining armor is going to ride come galloping in on a white horse and take you off to that fairy tale castle in the mountains – it is a fairy tale. But, you shouldn’t settle for a man who hurts you and doesn’t cherish you and all your beautiful flaws.
No one is perfect
Find a man that you can be yourself with. You shouldn’t compromise who you are to be with someone. At the same time, realize that you are not perfect either and being in a relationship takes work. If you two are meant to be together, things will find a way of working things out. Do not try to change him! If he loves you, he has to be the one to make the decision to change. If he isn’t willing to – then move on! It is a hard fact, but you are worth it! Be yourself and don’t settle for anything but the best from your partner!