One of the hardest pills to swallow is when the girl you love suddenly says the dreaded words:
“I don’t love you anymore.”
“I’m falling out of love with you.”
“I think we should see other people.”
Yes, a hard pill to swallow indeed. It’s bitter, ugly and leaves a nasty lump in the back of your throat.
It’s even more difficult if you actually loved her when she said it.
So, what should you do now that you have this new, unwanted information? How do you go about handling it?
It’s not going to be easy, we can tell you that much. But it isn’t impossible! You can do this.
Step by step, you will get through this situation and you may even come out stronger than you were before.
Step Number One: Process The Situation
When we say it’s not an easy thing to deal with, we mean it. One of the hardest things in life to deal with is having your heartbroken. Maybe this has happened to you before, but maybe it hasn’t. If it hasn’t you will definitely need to take a little extra time to figure out how you are feeling. In other words, you need time to process what just happened. Processing is an important step, therefore it is the first. Without processing you will never be able to come to accept what has happened. Living in denial is never a good thing and can cause problems. Think of how you feel and how what she said to you made you feel. Take time to yourself. It is okay to sit on the couch for a couple days or lose yourself in a hobby. However, you don’t want to sit around too long. This can cause you to overthink. You do not want to let yourself get into a funk over this or you may not come out of it for a long time. Do something relaxing, think about it and put your feelings into a project or hobby.
Step Number Two: Find A Shoulder To Lean On
Going through a breakup always requires the company of someone that you trust enough to be there for you. Going through this alone is not a smart idea. It may lead you to get into that dreaded funk we discussed earlier. It will feel good to have someone to actively listen to you and let you vent to them. You should definitely get your thoughts out vocally so that you can release a little pressure that may be building up inside you after hearing that she doesn’t love you anymore. Beating yourself up is the last thing that you want to do. That’s why it’s important to have someone there to help you build up your self esteem and be your voice of reason.
Step Number Three: Discuss This With Her
You may be wondering what you are supposed to do when it comes to the person who just broke your heart. You will want to give yourself some time to process and vent, but after you have done that you can go ahead and talk to her about this yourself. Sometimes people say that they are not in love with their partners anymore to get their attention and make them realize that something within the relationship is not right. She may be signalling to you that she is desperate for a change. This may be her only way of getting you to see that. Women are complicated, right? Right, but sometimes they say these things as a last attempt to save the relationship. As weird as it seems, it’s true. Just because she doesn’t love you anymore, doesn’t mean that there isn’t any hope for you to rebuild a better relationship with her. But before you get too much hope, remind yourself that you need to discuss it with her to find out if the relationship can be saved.
You need to ask her what caused her to fall out of love with you. Was she sad when she said it? Was she angry? If she was sad, it indicates that she doesn’t want to breakup, but that she just isn’t feeling as strongly towards you as she was before. If she was angry, she may just be fed up with the relationship and is finding herself wanting to end things. It’s important to remember all aspects and the context it was said in.
If the relationship cannot be saved at all, you will want to talk to her just for the sake of getting some closure. Getting closure is important when you are going through a potential breakup, because without it, you may be depressed or find yourself being hard on yourself. You will want to get a good understanding of why she is doing what she is doing. This will help you to be able to move on.