So you found the perfect girl. She is smart, funny, caring and beautiful. It’s like you hit the jackpot, right? But there is one silly little problem… She has a boyfriend.
Well that certainly makes it hard to make her yours, doesn’t it? That is the ultimate bummer.
However, not all hope is lost. There are a lot of things to keep in mind when you start having a crush on a girl in a relationship.
You may want to think about whether or not you are morally okay with destroying an existing relationship or if you are truly in love with her and you’re willing to do anything to be with her.
Step One: Identify Her Importance To You
You can’t just go around tearing relationships apart for the fun of it. You would not be a good person if you were doing that, anyone will tell you so. Except maybe sociopaths. So think about how much she means to you. How long have you known her? If she is a stranger and you barely held a conversation, it’s best for you to just move on. Leave them alone. You don’t know either of the two in the relationship and it’s definitely not your place to be causing them any problems.
It may be different if you have known this girl for a long period of time. Does she consider you her ‘best guy friend’ and spend a lot of time with you without her boyfriend. This could mean that she likes you a little bit, too, but she is still holding onto her relationship. This is where you should think long and hard about whether she really likes you. If she hasn’t left her boyfriend yet, does she really care for you the way you care for her? Are the feelings between you only one-sided? Unrequited love might be cute, but it’s not fun.
Step Two: Decide Whether Or Not You Want To Pursuit Her
After you think about the importance she holds in your life, you will want to decide on the next steps to take. Do you think it is really worth it to try and start a relationship with this girl who is already taken? Is is worth the effort? Are you just as prepared for disappointment as you are for victory? You should be prepared for either. Are you ready to be looked down upon by your peers for being a woman stealer? Because that is definitely a possibility when you take someone’s girlfriend. You may even be confronted by the other guy at some point. So, just carefully think about whether these are hurdles that you want to jump over or not to get her.
Step Three: Do Things The Right Way
Whatever you do, DO NOT have her cheat on her boyfriend. That is no way to go about getting the girl you want, even if she is taken. Although you may be happy to be with her while avoiding all the confrontation, remember that it is morally wrong to cheat on someone. If you want a successful relationship with her, you will want to base the beginning of it off of something other than lies and betrayal. Also, if she’s cheating on her boyfriend and hasn’t given him up for you, she probably doesn’t care about you that much. Cheating indicates that it’s more of a lust thing than a love thing. That’s never good.
Step Four: Talk To Her
If you have decided to pursuit a relationship with the girl in the relationship, you are going to have to talk to her at some point. Although you could go about it sneakily, by flattering her and subtly making her fall in love with you, the most successful way of doing things is just by letting her know how you feel. Arrange for the two of you to hang out alone. Maybe over a cup of coffee or while hanging at the park. Start by letting her know how much you like spending time with her and that you don’t want her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.
By telling her you don’t want her to do anything that she isn’t comfortable doing, it takes away a lot of pressure from her.
If you blurt out that you want to be with her without giving her any leeway, she may feel too pressured and on the spot. This will result in rejection. Even if it isn’t a lasting rejection, it will happen initially if she feels too suffocated.
You can let her know that you will give her the time she needs to think about it. You will want to assure her you will be patient with her, if she choose to be with you, while she figures things out with her boyfriend.
If you don’t talk to her and you trick her into liking you, she may resent you for it later down the line.
Although this isn’t always guaranteed to make her breakup with her boyfriend, it’s worth a shot if you really love her.